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OP, did you use all of your GI Bill? I believe that you can now allow your dependents to use your GI Bill - but I am not sure how it works.
So, the wife hooked a military man with benefits to take care of her kids. Happens all the time. She isn't as dumb as the OP portrays here.
Clara and LowonLuck are projecting big time.
It was nothing like that at all, that program with the G.I. Bill did not exist in the mid 90s and my G.I. Bill was not transferable to anyone. In fact the one I signed up for was only worth $10,000. Retroactively they made it worth $35,000 and I used that up going to college myself.
She didn't hook me for anything, she's a good woman, was and still is and our relationship, although maybe not a romance per se, has been a good one with a good basis in friendship and respect, until lately.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 7 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Switchback
It was nothing like that at all, that program with the G.I. Bill did not exist in the mid 90s and my G.I. Bill was not transferable to anyone. In fact the one I signed up for was only worth $10,000. Retroactively they made it worth $35,000 and I used that up going to college myself.
She didn't hook me for anything, she's a good woman, was and still is and our relationship, although maybe not a romance per se, has been a good one with a good basis in friendship and respect, until lately.
I'm surprised you say your relationship "isn't a romance". It sounds like a romance to me. And it sounds like your wife cares for you a great deal. And you care for her.
I do get the idea that you're a military man, and basically you gave a "direct order" to your wife to not co-sign for the car for her daughter.
My father was a military man. I get where you get this idea you can give direct orders to family members and expect they will be followed without question.
Best wishes. I really think you'll lose a lot if you divorce this woman who cares for you so much.
It was nothing like that at all, that program with the G.I. Bill did not exist in the mid 90s and my G.I. Bill was not transferable to anyone. In fact the one I signed up for was only worth $10,000. Retroactively they made it worth $35,000 and I used that up going to college myself.
She didn't hook me for anything, she's a good woman, was and still is and our relationship, although maybe not a romance per se, has been a good one with a good basis in friendship and respect, until lately.
I joined in the mid-90s as well. You can transfer from one type of GI Bill to the other.
I'm surprised you say your relationship "isn't a romance". It sounds like a romance to me. And it sounds like your wife cares for you a great deal. And you care for her.
I do get the idea that you're a military man, and basically you gave a "direct order" to your wife to not co-sign for the car for her daughter.
My father was a military man. I get where you get this idea you can give direct orders to family members and expect they will be followed without question.
Best wishes. I really think you'll lose a lot if you divorce this woman who cares for you so much.
You are bending over backwards to paint the OP as the bad guy for this. His wife was wrong for what she did. Point blank period. And her attitude as described by the OP is wrong as well.
The OP has every right to be ticked off about this. That does not make him controlling.
I joined in the mid-90s as well. You can transfer from one type of GI Bill to the other.
Anyway, it's a moot point. Good luck.
I joined in the 80s and I promise you there was no program that allowed me to transfer or allow anyone else to use my G.I. Bill. In addition, are use my benefit up quickly and it was gone.
Well, we had another lengthy talk last night on the phone, at least I did quite a bit of talking.
The conversation started because our youngest daughter got wind of our troubles and was starting to ask questions.
So I asked her the question: "How can someone you've been married to and spent the last 20 years of your life with, a person who is supposed to have your back more than anyone else, and who you were supposed to be able to trust completely in all matters, including financial, consciously do something you have made it clear you are totally not OK with and totally disregard your wishes?"
She didn't answer…
So I asked, "did you not think I would be livid and upset? "
She said, "I didn't think you'd be that upset".
So then I told that compounding the action she took the fact that after I made it clear how hurt I was that she put our joint finances in jeopady and violated my trust in the process, but she then totally disrespected me when she told me to "get over it".
She denied saying that she said get over it like that, but I'm sitting here looking at the text bubble where she wrote it along with another very disrespectful comment.
Then I went on to tell her that I don't think that she' sorry for violating our trust and disrespecting me because she's barely said so, and that was a simple "yes I made mistake".
She didn't disagree.. And was irritated that we were having this discussion again and she said that we' ve already discussed all of this. In her mind I guess, the last time we talked that was "end of discussion".
I told her that the fact that she knows how upset I've been about it and has not done nothing to resolve the situation or assuage my concerns, was troubling to me and has made the situation even worse in my eyes..
I then basically told her that if I had violated her trust and done something totally against her wishes and she was very upset about it, that I would apologize profusely, I would tell her how important she and the relationship is to me, I'd promise it would never happen again, and I'd ask how we can make this right between us?
She had no comment… which leads me to opine that she's not going to apologize, she doesn't think she did anything wrong and more importantly she doesn't care how I feel about it.
I believe it was stated earlier that your wife doesn't have your relationship at the top of her priority list. Her kids are first and foremost. From her reaction, I get the feeling she knows the relationship is in trouble and has started to pull away. From some of your earlier posts/threads, it seems like this may have been the direction your relationship was headed, unless the two of you found a way to circle the wagons and work together, but it appears that didn't happen.
I would certainly begin/continue the process to separate accounts and likely proceed with at least a separation agreement. Maybe she then understands how serious this is.
She had no comment… which leads me to opine that she's not going to apologize, she doesn't think she did anything wrong and more importantly she doesn't care how I feel about it.
She wouldn't hear from me again, aside from the divorce papers being served.
You guys need counseling. Adult children do not need your support anymore, dont get to decide what to do with your finances, and should be embarrassed accepting so much money from you.
Your wife is enabling. You guys should not get involved on how these grown women live their lives, how they spend money, but be staraight up and cut off support. They need to get married and form their own debts.
Ask your wife if you feel like a pure sucker, and she does not seem to care. These girls/grown adults are taking advantage of mom and know she would cave in. All this screaming and crying BS is for the birds, or immature 12 years olds.
Dont let them kids talk down on you, and your wife must support you on this. You scream on us, put guilt trips, GTFOH! Until you learn some grown up communication skills.
Mom should not permit this either, effn grow up!
Divorce is not an answer for you, but getting the tools to communicate with each other is.
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