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But in all honestly, I really wouldn't want to date someone who is just looking to date. I never understood, that unless you are looking for fun and sex, why people intensely go on so many in that frequency with so many different people. I tried it once, God it was exhausting.
If you are going on THAT many dates, then I don't think you are being selective enough and wasting your time. I know I did. When I was just dating for the sake of dating, I wasted my time on way too many people, that I would normally filter out before going on a first date with.
I'm with you on this.
Quite a few years ago, I went this route. Not only was it exhausting, I also found myself not being able to really make a connection with any of the people I went out with. So, for me, I have found that the best route is a simple "one at a time" approach.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique
I never flaked, but Tinder wasn't around back then. But there are dudes who flake. I've had friends vent about their online dating woes. People can flake on you no matter where or how you meet.
I also don't see the issue of going on 3+ first dates a week. That seems to be pretty standard/norm for many daters. If I didn't feel it after a first date/meet on Monday, and I was free to go out on Tuesday or Wednesday, cool. When I hit it off with someone from the start, and it led to a great first and second date, I focused on that person until things ended.
Multiple first meetups in a week? No big deal.
Of course it isn't. That's called trying to actually meet someone.
Again, doesn't matter if it's Tinder, Bumble, other OLD sites - or even meeting IRL. There's gonna be flaking, ghosting, etc. If you're actively dating, you better believe that you'll go on a ton of first dates, with no second date to follow. That goes for both men and women. Either they're just not that into you, or you're just not that into them - so you move on.
I've met a few off OLD who admitted to me at the end of the date, "Thanks, but I felt no chemistry." As I've told a couple of women I've dated such. But flaking - if you contact them and they act unsure, wishy-washy, or they say "I'm busy", there's your answer. In both the former and the latter, next them! In other words, move on to the next prospect.
I ended up hearing from the Tinder guy who I thought was going to flake (although there are still a few hours left for him to flake). But assuming he doesn't flake, now I have to FIND something cute to wear, get DRESSED, put on MAKEUP, DRIVE to the meeting place, and make interesting CONVERSATION for an hour or two with a stranger. So exhausting when all I really want to do is spend a quiet evening at home with my cat. Maybe flaking isn't so bad after all!
That reminds me of an inside joke I have with myself. (yeah, I don't care if I sound crazy). I met an OKC match at a happy hour in an out of the way 'dive bar'. We were exchanging horror stories, mine from work, his from the military, both having unusual experiences. He casually reveals after my story: "Oh that doesn't bother me, but you have to know I cut my teeth in prison."
Huh?!
I just stared off into space trying to think about how, and how quickly I should leave. He suddenly just looked like a prisoner, and why did it have to turn out like this? He asked what I was thinking about so hard. I said: "Oh I was just wondering what my cats are doing."
Nobody normal is wondering what their cats are doing while they're out, so I think it kind of softens the blow when you then tell someone you don't think you're a match.
How was your tinder date, and what did you wear?
ETA: No I normally don't ask the person if they've ever been in prison before I meet them in person. I'm sure they wouldn't get too many willing to meet them if it was included in their "about me" section of their profile.
That reminds me of an inside joke I have with myself. (yeah, I don't care if I sound crazy). I met an OKC match at a happy hour in an out of the way 'dive bar'. We were exchanging horror stories, mine from work, his from the military, both having unusual experiences. He casually reveals after my story: "Oh that doesn't bother me, but you have to know I cut my teeth in prison."
Huh?!
I just stared off into space trying to think about how, and how quickly I should leave. He suddenly just looked like a prisoner, and why did it have to turn out like this? He asked what I was thinking about so hard. I said: "Oh I was just wondering what my cats are doing."
Nobody normal is wondering what their cats are doing while they're out, so I think it kind of softens the blow when you then tell someone you don't think you're a match.
How was your tinder date, and what did you wear?
ETA: No I normally don't ask the person if they've ever been in prison before I meet them in person. I'm sure they wouldn't get too many willing to meet them if it was included in their "about me" section of their profile.
LOL yup, finding out that someone had been to prison wouldn't go over so well with me either! The guy I met is a cat lover, which was one of the things I found attractive about him. Aside from that, he didn't flake, he showed up on time, and he seemed nice enough. I didn't feel any intense chemistry, but I would be willing to see him again.
Oh, and I just wore jeggings and a top. I have no idea what he was wearing since I tend to only focus on people's faces. I assume it was appropriate though.
LOL yup, finding out that someone had been to prison wouldn't go over so well with me either! The guy I met is a cat lover, which was one of the things I found attractive about him. Aside from that, he didn't flake, he showed up on time, and he seemed nice enough. I didn't feel any intense chemistry, but I would be willing to see him again.
Oh, and I just wore jeggings and a top. I have no idea what he was wearing since I tend to only focus on people's faces. I assume it was appropriate though.
He may have been wearing leggings as well! Cat lover's worth a 2nd date. Good luck
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