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Ending an 8 year relationship for a woman you've known only a few weeks is ridiculous. Cut it off with new woman, and get in counseling with your wife.
In an open marriage, should you leave for new women?
What does that even mean? It makes no sense. If you're in an open marriage, why would you have to leave, to be with new women?
You're very confused, OP. Why not get marriage counseling with your wife. You two can discuss what kind of relationship you both want. You two don't seem to be able to do this on your own. Get a professional counselor.
...having an open relationship isn't the same thing as having revenge sex and falling for your secondary partner. Both of you have huge boundary issues.
... and this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by JJ09990
Ending an 8 year relationship for a woman you've known only a few weeks is ridiculous. Cut it off with new woman, and get in counseling with your wife.
OP, y'all need to get a grip.
You're parents now. So it's time to stop all this messing around, following your d___ wherever it leads, and focus on putting a decent life together for your kids.
It doesn't matter that "none of this happens in the house." ALL OF THIS changes who you are, and that's not good for the little ones in your care. They aren't inconveniences that you manage while you sort out who you or your wife is on top of this week. They're children who need two adults in their lives who are willing to put themselves second and make the best decisions they can make.
So get rid of all the extra people, find a marriage therapist, and give it a go. Try really hard to honor the commitment you made to each other.
the burn of cheating or sleeping with other , in a marriage , will never be forgotten . you guys should re consider why you are married in the first place. I would gtfot and start fresh with someone that knows what commitment and being exclusive to each other really means. once is enough, in a marriage. seems like you guys are not taking marriage seriously.
chalk it up for experience, thread lightly with the next one, be there for your kids. I would not be able to respect my wife, let alone sleep with her again, if she slept with another. threesomes never come out well, too big a scar of emotions.
i would not bother with therapy, adults make mistakes, but not such a big mistake, taking a crap on your family. Do what you have to for the sake of the kids, but i would not do a thing for my wife again. go for therapy for yourself, to re evaluate and bring some sense to what is occurring in your relationship
but ultimately, it is your life, your decision. if putting kids and spouses comfort and happiness is not a good enough reason to remain monogamous , what is?
Staying in a rotten marriage is not good for kids either and this barely qualifies as a marriage.
The new woman isn't free either so hardly one to take up with.
I'm not experienced in such matters, but I'm under the impression that having an open relationship isn't the same thing as having revenge sex and falling for your secondary partner. Both of you have huge boundary issues. Polyamorous people need to be able to compartmentalize.
I was just going to ask if either OP or spouse identify as Polyamorous. If so,you definitely are doing it wrong. If not, then it's even worse and you both need to grow up, consider your children and decide whether you want to stay married. Cause what you're current doing is all kinds of messy.
First of all, you're not in an open relationship. What you have is serial cheating with a rationalization to call it open to make it seem less tacky.
Anyway, it's obvious that you and your wife aren't good partners, so sure, move on. Be great coparents, but have little else to do with each other. This new woman is still an unknown - too early to tell - but it does sound like you appeal to each other far more. I suggest you really think about what a relationship means, and how you should both behave in one.
First of all, you're not in an open relationship. What you have is serial cheating with a rationalization to call it open to make it seem less tacky.
Anyway, it's obvious that you and your wife aren't good partners, so sure, move on. Be great coparents, but have little else to do with each other. This new woman is still an unknown - too early to tell - but it does sound like you appeal to each other far more. I suggest you really think about what a relationship means, and how you should both behave in one.
All of this.
OP, you and your wife sound like absolute children. This isn't an open relationship. It's a train wreck where you guys do what you want and then stick labels on it afterward.
Get a divorce and then WAIT before jumping into a relationship with a new person. You're exchanging "I love yous" with another person after a couple weeks? Because you're 12?
You are not putting your kids first. And no, it doesn't all happen "away" from them. They can pick up on the weirdness between you and your wife pretty well. Get yourself into therapy and end your marriage as gently and cleanly as possible.
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