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My first question is... When do you know someone you meet is girlfriend material?
I met this really cool guy and we have been hanging out for about a week. We didn't kiss until our third date. We set up a kid pool in a state park with blankets and pillows and stayed there looking at the start for about 3 hours and during that time we first kissed. We've had long and meaningful conversations and although I can feel he's holding things in, slowly but surely the layers are coming off. We hung out again today at his place. We watched movies, went to dinner (he paid the first 3 dates, I paid the bill this time) then went back to his place for another movie. We made up on the couch for a while and I stopped him when he started putting his hands in places that really turn me on. I said "I better get home" and he walked me to my car. He asked me to let him know when I got home and I did. He said "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable" I said "you didn't. I just want to take things easy".
I really like this guy and in the past, I have made the huge mistake of sleeping with men right away. I'm 37 and been single for a while. Now, I don't want to sleep with someone I am not in a relationship with. Not anymore. I have been making drastic changes in my life lately like quit drinking, new friends, new hobbies and although I feel ready for a relationship, I don't feel the rush to jump in bed with someone. I like him and I want to see where this progresses and I want to avoid the mistakes in the past. I know I have a lot to bring into a relationship but I by sleeping with men prematurely I guess they didn't see me as someone they could have a relationship with. At least as serious one. This might not be the one, or it might but I want to take things slow and see where it goes. I so dearly want to have sex with someone I care for and they care for me other than just lust for each other. Btw, I met this guy on a dating site and we seem to have a lot of things in common. So far at least.
My second question is. What do you think of a woman who is great and have a lot of qualities you are looking for but sleeps with you on the first (or second) date?
Just want to see if I'm on the right path and to learn my past mistakes.
We all deserve to be loved, hope we all find it one way or another.
Oh, by the way, I'm new to this forum. Hello all! I'm AnnaBannana!
Last edited by Annabannana; 05-16-2017 at 01:21 AM..
To be fair, I don't think those other men ever saw you as relationship material from the start (regardless if you had slept with them too fast or not).
Plenty of relationships have started when the people with each other fast. I don't think it necessarily means much in the grand scheme of things.
A woman that has impeccable knowledge of Pro Wrestling history, listens to R.E.M., and likes Indian food. Those requirements along with decent looks qualifies a woman to be my wife as soon as possible.
You know, I wasn't ever into the game playing or the chase. But after bedding a nut job early in my dating career who stalked me, I decided that sex on the first date is a bad idea. I never was a prude, but I decided to be more selective.
When dating my wife, I was all about her. But, even so, I waited a good two months. In fact, the night we celebrated my birthday, we went to a concert, had an epic date, and she practically tried to rape me at the end. Trust me. I wanted to go along with it. But I wanted this relationship to become something amazing before bumping uglies. I think it was the right decision, and we have scorched the sheets ever since.
I guess I'm the odd man out but I've met women whom I've slept with on the first date. Most recently, the "third date rule" notwithstanding, I've been with women in which we slept together on the third or fourth date. I want her to know me, my persona, my likes/dislikes, etc. I guess it's because if I sleep with her, I'm already considering her "relationship material".
Very recently - talking maybe two weeks ago - I met a woman with whom we had good conversation chemistry. Did I want to sleep with her that same day? Hell to the yes! (we didn't). But at this time, we're still in the "talking and getting to know each other" phase. Still not certain of anything yet.
I never went out with or dated a man who took issue with first date sex, as far as regarding such activities (or women) as unworthy of a serious relationship. (and, if he's willing to bed a woman on the first date, is he unworthy of love and companionship, or just a sexship?) All of my longest relationships (and both marriages) started with sex before the third date.
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LMAO
