Husband Obsessed with Young Coworker

[pumpkin5]

I'm a believer in "the truth always finds a way to come out." I'm not judging your decision but you have to be aware that this has damaged your relationship in a major way.

[Levels77]

Originally Posted by pumpkin5

I'm a believer in "the truth always finds a way to come out." I'm not judging your decision but you have to be aware that this has damaged your relationship in a major way.

I'm agreeing with this.

Who know, your husband may even apologize and admit he was wrong about what he did and say he's sorry.

I don't understand this huge fear that you have about telling him you knew this was going on. Are you dependent on him financially? You don't think it would be better living on your own (if say you bringing this up led to a divorce) than living a lie with someone else?

How do you look at him each day, smile, let him come close to you with all this anger in the back of your head? Day in and day out.

I feel you at least owe it to yourself to hear what his reply will be when you tell him. And if he's a proud man, who will never admit when he's wrong, well then that die was cast when you first realized he was too proud and decided to marry him anyway (sorry to say).

Each to their own, and I'm sure you've done some serious soul searching about this. But I would just say, don't be afraid to live on your own, if it comes to that.

[Angie682]

OP I hope everything works out for you and he doesn't cheat again.

[SimplySagacious]

Originally Posted by ZeroPatience

Update: I just wanted to give you all another update on what's been going on... things are better.

He still has no idea that I knew what what going on behind my back and I don't think I will ever let him know that I knew. I (secretly) keep track of all cell/computer activity. Someday I hope to be able to stop but right now the trust is still not there. Maybe it never will be 100%. Days can go by without me thinking about what happened but I don't think I will ever truly forget - or forgive. I don't think that is unreasonable considering the circumstances. I can try to put it all behind me and move on.

My husband did the Freedom 55 and retired from his job in July 2018. We sold everything, are renting our house out to a family friend and are moving to Baja, Mexico in less than two weeks. We rented a house there for one year. If we like it there we may stay, if not, then we will take the opportunity to travel around to other countries. This is something we always planned to do and I feel this is a like a fresh start.

The co-worker and her long term b/f just had a baby in June. My husband has not texted her since summer of 2017, nor has she texted him. He has not been in contact with any other women.

Some of you question why I stayed, I even question my decision at times ... however, I feel I did what was right for me.

Hmmm, a year ago you wanted to leave but couldn't because you were jobless, penniless and no nearby family. It sounds as if your future is still dependent upon your spouse. I hope that you have a plan B to leave Mexico on your own if it doesn't work out. Canada is a long way. And, as others have said, your secret spy life is going to take a toll on you.

Good luck. I sincerely hope it works out but you still need a plan B.