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Man, the females on here saying go straight to divorce, bankrupt his account. lol. What a world.
I don't want a divorce. I want him to stop being obsessed with her. But even if he closed the Instagram account, unfriended her from FB he still works with her, sees her everyday. Desire cannot be turned off like a light switch.
And for the record, if I had a good paying job I would leave without taking anything from him. If I left I wouldn't want anything more to do with him at all. Sadly I would need the spousal support until I landed a better paying job.
This is probably the wrong answer, but why not contact the firefighter boyfriend and share with him what's going on. I'm sure he'd want to know that his girlfriend is having an emotional affair with someone.
The more likely right answer is the two of you need couples counseling. This work affair and you not wanting to confront him about it is most likely a symptom of deeper issues.
Haha I used that because my patience has run out. It's at zero now.
I wrote him a letter and was going to leave it open on the computer for him to read while I left and stayed at a hotel for a few days to let him think about what he's done. I feel that is the coward's way out. I want to say something but am very nervous about what will happen if I do. Not afraid of him being violent but just of the confrontation itself.
Man, the females on here saying go straight to divorce, bankrupt his account. lol. What a world.
She's not going to do anything. She's known about this scenario for over 2 months and hasn't said a damn word. And now she's on a BBS asking perfect strangers for advice rather than asking a lawyer.
If a person isn't going to fight for their relationship, even when it means they are going toe-to-toe with the other person in that relationship, then they should stay single.
I don't want a divorce. I want him to stop being obsessed with her. But even if he closed the Instagram account, unfriended her from FB he still works with her, sees her everyday. Desire cannot be turned off like a light switch.
And for the record, if I had a good paying job I would leave without taking anything from him. If I left I wouldn't want anything more to do with him at all. Sadly I would need the spousal support until I landed a better paying job.
Trust, me desires CAN be turned off like a light switch. I'm sad to say this, and I'm not married, but I've been in situations kind of like this too.
And all it takes is for you to confront him angrily, stop doing the things you normally do for him so he can understand that you do a lot for him, and threaten to leave and tell him you need some time to think about it.
It will work. You have to stand your ground. He'll forget about this girl completely. Even tell him that you've read the text and everything. Put it all out on the table. Make it a big scene. If you don't normally act like this, even better. Take him by surprise.
This is probably the wrong answer, but why not contact the firefighter boyfriend and share with him what's going on. I'm sure he'd want to know that his girlfriend is having an emotional affair with someone.
The more likely right answer is the two of you need couples counseling. This work affair and you not wanting to confront him about it is most likely a symptom of deeper issues.
Oh trust me I've thought of that. I even drafted a letter to her asking her to tell him to stop but if she showed it to him that would be it, over.
Someone else said something about not letting him have the power in this and maybe that's exactly what I want the control. I feel like I don't have any right now.
He'd NEVER agree to counselling. This I know as fact.
Why are you so afraid of confrontation? I love confrontation. I want it to be like two trucks going full speed, colliding into each other with an explosion, and I might get messed up in the process, but at least the problem is resolved.
I don't want a divorce. I want him to stop being obsessed with her. But even if he closed the Instagram account, unfriended her from FB he still works with her, sees her everyday. Desire cannot be turned off like a light switch.
And if there is one, there will be others. That woman I mentioned in my first post? Her "bf" cheated on his previous gf with 3 different women in 9 years, sometimes with more than one at the same time, including her, all the while lying to all of them about the fact that they were OW's (Other Women). The best thing she could have done was tell him to go to hell instead of getting back with him after she found out (he was back on her FB list like, 2 days after she supposedly sent him packing).
And guess what???? 3 years later he took up with one of her co-OW's again.
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