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I grew up in a small town in Ohio and got a factory job right out of High School. I have been working at the factory ever since. My friends are all blue collar workers and many works at the factory with me. We all live the blue collar lifestyle and definitely look the part.
My wife also worked at the factory when we graduated from High School but later she decided to go a different way and attend college. She attended college for over 8 years and now has a Ph.D. and works as a Political Science Professor at a local college.
Since she has got the Professor job, she has changed. All her friends are intellectual types who like to impress everyone with the high IQ and Ph.D. They talk about political theory and read all kinds of 1000 page books and spend their time researching all kinds of boring topics. When my wife and her intellectual friends are not working they like to hang out at an art gallery, go to plays and the ballet and attend lectures.
She did get me on City-Data and likes that I wrote about interesting things and read posts on a wide variety of boards, but in all honesty, most of the stuff on here is boring. (Expect for the discussions about money and investments.)
I and my friends are bored silly with all this stuff. We like to do blue collar things. (Hunting, fishing, camping, boating, bowling, etc.)
My wife like each other but have nothing in common. I try to get her to do things with me I am interested in but she tells me they are boring. I tried attending the events she likes to do, and I found them boring. I tried to get together with her friends as couples, we had nothing in common. She has tried to enjoy my friends and their wives and she was bored with their form of conversation.
Maybe we should divorce but we got three kids. We don't dislike each other and have lots of history but are now just completely different in every way. Can you relate?
And you didn't know this going into the relationship? Sounds like you're looking for an out and other than the fact you have three kids you'd probably already be gone.
The way I look at it, you signed up for it. Nobody can tell the future. You also have three kids. You just have to be a man and deal with it. Be thankful you're not missing a leg or something.
Tough call. In general over time even the most solid relationships will find the two parties drifting apart in certain areas. I've been married going on 36 years, and I find new things to like along the way and get tired of other things, as does my wife. Was this a complete unknown to you going into marriage? Did your wife ever discuss with you her going to college?
Despite doing totally different things, are you and your wife overall happy in the relationship? Does she mind you doing things without her and visa versa? As long as being with another person isn't involving sexual relations, then it's all good if you both are fine with it. But if either one feels some stress due to the differences, then that's just a problem.
I would find middle ground. Getting a divorce with three kids is a no-win situation for the both of you. Gut it out, find friends and interests that you both enjoy, and work at building your life together.
By the way, a person who is bored is a person who is quite often boring. The way to not be bored is to keep yourself alive to life's possibilities. To me, talking to a bunch of Ph.D.s sounds like a lot of fun, because I like to learn something new every day.
Or you two could try swinging. I hear that does wonders for a marriage.
I grew up in a small town in Ohio and got a factory job right out of High School. I have been working at the factory ever since. My friends are all blue collar workers and many works at the factory with me. We all live the blue collar lifestyle and definitely look the part.
My wife also worked at the factory when we graduated from High School but later she decided to go a different way and attend college. She attended college for over 8 years and now has a Ph.D. and works as a Political Science Professor at a local college.
Since she has got the Professor job, she has changed. All her friends are intellectual types who like to impress everyone with the high IQ and Ph.D. They talk about political theory and read all kinds of 1000 page books and spend their time researching all kinds of boring topics. When my wife and her intellectual friends are not working they like to hang out at an art gallery, go to plays and the ballet and attend lectures.
She did get me on City-Data and likes that I wrote about interesting things and read posts on a wide variety of boards, but in all honesty, most of the stuff on here is boring. (Expect for the discussions about money and investments.)
I and my friends are bored silly with all this stuff. We like to do blue collar things. (Hunting, fishing, camping, boating, bowling, etc.)
My wife like each other but have nothing in common. I try to get her to do things with me I am interested in but she tells me they are boring. I tried attending the events she likes to do, and I found them boring. I tried to get together with her friends as couples, we had nothing in common. She has tried to enjoy my friends and their wives and she was bored with their form of conversation.
Maybe we should divorce but we got three kids. We don't dislike each other and have lots of history but are now just completely different in every way. Can you relate?
Yes I've namely dated a barrister, doctor and an investment banker over the years and I'm just a mere " construction dude " as you would say over there and sure we had fun and was great but on occasion I felt like a fish out of water with a few of their interests and the " corporate speak ", culture, book smart, different level of caste/class with friends/social circles etc which definitely is not me and obviously intellect at times.
I was never made to feel " less " or anything but more often than not I felt worlds apart so yes I can relate to an extent but not fully as we wasn't married and had 3 kids so was an easy fix.
Seems like, to me, that if your wife is still attending functions with you, and bringing you around her friends, she finds you interesting enough, and is proud enough of you to be on your arm and socializing.
Yeah, that's a big one. Also, do you have any interests that overlap? What do you do together as a couple?
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