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I guess I have been pretty selfish in that regard. Really, it is heartbreaking for me to think of his wife. I know nothing about either of them, but they have been together a long time. I can imagine the hurt she would experience. It really does sadden me. But even if I felt compelled to tell her, I have no idea how to contact her.
It wouldn't be that hard.
To me, the operative question is, "Does she know?" If not, he's cheating, regardless of the fact that your wife is not.
Personally, I think your marriage is over. Hell, you even admit as much in the title of this thread.
The other man has provided an apartment and car for the wife.
OP, you are beginning to process the fact that your wife is now the other man's mistress, his long-term partner.
Probably why you started this thread, no? Review your thread title.
Yep. A marriage isn't all about sex. Heck, if I were in the OP's situation, I might advise my wife to go out and occasionally get something on the side.
But when it comes to being a kept woman, with her own apartment, et al? That's when the marriage is officially over. In that case, I would provide the final kindness to the woman and divorce her. Then she can romp with whomever she wants.
After reading most of this - I don't think you have anything to worry about. This guy is married and is just using your wife for sex. She's flavor of the week. A side chick he is playing with. If she wants to let herself be used that's her bad choice.
He's wealthy and been married for 24 years. It would probably cost him a fortune to leave his wife.
She'll come running back home when he moves on to someone else he meets on CL, breaks her heart or gives her a disease...Then you can pick up the pieces.
I do have an issue that your wife would cheat with someone who is married and whose wife is not aware your wife is messing with her husband. IMO, that is a huge character problem. Bad karma for sure. Find a single guy to mess around with.
It's not really an open marriage for married guy if HIS wife is not aware he is cheating on her.
I don't think it's your responsibility to contact her, unless you're trying to be punitive. You could talk to your wife about it, and find out how she feels about her partner not being open in his own marriage when it's important to her to be open in hers. She can make that demand of him, not you.
Yes I agree it's not HIS responsibility and if anything his wife should do it
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bungalove
Sorry, but I disagree strongly with you on this point. It is not being punitive for Griffis to inform the other wife regarding something that is so fundamental to her own life as her husband having an extramarital relationship. To NOT do so means that the other wife is continuing to live a lie that could have drastic consequences for her, and is also possibly jeopardizing her health as well. After all, if the OM posted an ad on Craigslist, who else might he have had extramarital relations with prior to the OP's wife? It's criminal to withhold information like this, imho.
Btw, if I were you, I'd have a full panel of STD tests asap. If you are still having ANY kind of marital relations with your wife, your health is at risk too.
My apologies if I've missed something but how can he do this is he has no way of contacting her?
Yes I agree it's not HIS responsibility and if anything his wife should do it
My apologies if I've missed something but how can he do this is he has no way of contacting her?
Thank you
Anyone can become their own private investigator if they explore enough resources and try hard enough. Personally I'd plant a VAR in her car and let that reveal a lot of details he needs.
Anyone can become their own private investigator if they explore enough resources and try hard enough. Personally I'd plant a VAR in her car and let that reveal a lot of details he needs.
I don't at all agree going to such lengths but thank you for the answer.
Especially as him telling the blokes wife could quite possibly put his OWN wife in danger. ( YES i know she's already playing with fire but if I was in the OPs shoes i most definitely would NOT start the fire and even add fuel to it )
Also, OP, you should delete that personal ad, I think.
I mean, we can do a survey right now and ask how many women find that ad to be attractive.
You can't go around saying you worship women. Let me give you an example of a guy that I saw worshiping a female for apparently no other reason than she was a female.
He was on the dance floor and this girl was completely disrespecting him. She was putting her hands in his face and I think even doing something with her feet. The dude kept getting low, but he stayed low, while she was up high. It was a bad night for that guy and hopefully his friends let him know. Hopefully it was a learning experience.
You think that girl went home with him? In fact, come to think of it, I might have started dancing with her. I don't remember. Lol.
But my point is, don't be that guy. Girls are just like you and I. You don't think they start talking about sex? Often, they're the ones that bring it up and then when you confront them about it how you have a girl, etc, etc, they try to make it as if you're the one that tried to have sex. It's like a no win situation.
But anyway, my point is, they are scandalous, and by them, I mean people in general, both men and women. Be respectful, but don't allow yourself to be disrespected. You don't have to retaliate, but you should leave the situation.
I mean, say it's done. Don't let her treat you like this. You are a man. I respect people that have injuries. It's not easy. It's hard. The way she is treating you is not the way a person should be treated. It's plain disrespectful. That's all there is to it.
Same thing if a man treated a lady like this. Equally disrespectful. But I'm telling you, you have to know what you're capable of. That's where you get your confidence from. You said it yourself that you don't appear to be weak on the street, so use that. Use that as confidence. Build up your confidence.
Girls seem to like a man that doesn't listen. But you see, if you don't listen, you need to be doing something more important. Like for me, it's collecting revenue, working on skills, or working on my body. Now, I'm selfish, but the way I get around this is to be sure to listen to key points of stories being told, and just repeat what they say when they question you, and you'll be alright. Lol. Nah, for real, sometimes you gotta listen, but man, you can't be at their feet all day. Nobody likes that.
Anyway, that's my 2 cents. You can take it or leave it, but I'm actually trying to help you out. You can recover from this. Nobody respects you less as a man.
Frankly I doubt the authenticity of this entire scenario. The more details OP gives the less believable it becomes.
And yet, all of this is actually happening. You don't have to believe, though I'm not sure why anyone would fabricate such a thing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bungalove
Anyone can become their own private investigator if they explore enough resources and try hard enough. Personally I'd plant a VAR in her car and let that reveal a lot of details he needs.
That is not my style. I actually respect my wife too much for that anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jobster
Also, OP, you should delete that personal ad, I think.
Believe me, man, I've wanted to since right after I put it up. Do you know how? There's no edit option.
Do I have to contact a mod to have it removed? If so, who would that be?
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