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people. Griffis, you seem to be looking and exploring all avenues of this issue with an open mind. You know when you're having a dark day, you know how you feel about your wife and the relationship. You're taking it day by day, albeit new information continues to unfold. You seem reasonable, and patient... and you trust your wife, your connection with her. While others here may disagree with that trust, only you know your wife and yourself. We can only speculate based on what you tell us, and what we've ourselves have experienced. You'll figure it out—in fact, that is what you're doing right now... trying to think through and understand things? You'll know what to do when you know it. Me? When I don't know what to do... I do nothing, except to ponder more about it all... Figure out what you can live with and what you can live without, and go from there.
Nobody here knows your wife, or you, as the two of you do each other. Perhaps it's a simple matter of "the-heart-wants-what-the-heart-wants"... for the both of you.
I like that you listen to all the, uh...unique and strong opinions on this forum and seem willing to consider most opinions with the goal to understand, and, at the same time, you stay strong in your beliefs and your love for your wife. I'm thinking your daughters shall benefit from watching you deal with this genuinely, calmly, honestly—yet with struggle (for that is honest), and with a caring heart. You haven't forgotten that the two of you, at one time for sure, loved each other. Only you and she can decide if that's still true today.
Be nice to yourself... and, always, trust yourself.
Previously I responded to you in what I thought was a civil manner, even thanking you for showing concern for my kids and apologizing for getting a little hot towards you.
Now, feel free to keep sniping, but I'm done talking to you specifically. Really don't have time for snarky willful a-holes.
Go ahead, report me to a mod, ya pansy.
(If I'm off here for 2-3 days, it means LLCNYC reported me to a mod.)
I agree with the bolded... The rest... uh, perhaps a day or two off will be good for your state of mind. Best to you, Mr. Griffis. I mean that. 🌹
I did indeed respond to this. Sorry you missed it, but it's in here. Not bothering to search it out or repeat myself.
I'm not sure you did....
It can't be because your extraordinarily devoted wife gambled it all away. Unless you sold your house, liquidated your 401K, spent your daughters' college money, etc. to give her gambling money. But no one in their right mind would do that.
Why not just say so instead of playing these games with us. We are trying to understand what size hole you are in.
So it seems you liquidated your assets to pay off her gambling debts and now you are destitute.
I am starting to get a picture of your opportunistic nature.
While she was winning, you bankrolled her until she took everything. Now it seems you are hoping this extramarital relationship will help solve your financial problems, as your family has already received a car and money to cover insurance that you don't have to pay anymore. I suppose you are hoping for a bigger payday to come.
This is an interesting slant on your "compersion."
Why not just say so instead of playing these games with us.
What games? You are re-asking a question that I already answered. Not going back through 40 pages to find it for you. Not to mention, our finances are really none of anyone else's business, nor are they pertinent to the thread subject.
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We are trying to understand what size hole you are in.
Financially? Again, fail to see what bearing that has on this, but to be candid, the only debt we have is a car payment and a small amount left on a student loan.
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So it seems you liquidated your assets to pay off her gambling debts and now you are destitute.
Never had any assets to liquidate. The gambling thing was real bad for 2-3 years. Hasn't been an issue in quite some time. Not destitute, nor have we ever been, but like millions of other normal people, we do live paycheck to paycheck more or less.
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I am starting to get a picture of your opportunistic nature.
Okay...
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While she was winning, you bankrolled her until she took everything.
Way to jump to conclusions. Besides, in gambling there IS no winning. Unless you hit a big jackpot, it's always ups and downs, but even good days don't cover all the bad ones, if you look at the big picture, you never recoup your losses.
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Now it seems you are hoping this extramarital relationship will help solve your financial problems, as your family has already received a car and money to cover insurance that you don't have to pay anymore.
*sigh* Been over this at least three times. Her beau gave her an older VW. Signed it over to her and paid up the insurance for a year. Had nothing to do with me. He did it so she could meet up with him without stranding me. He also gave her a couple of used phones. No cash, and that was the extent of the gifts.
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I suppose you are hoping for a bigger payday to come.
Not at all.
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This is an interesting slant on your "compersion."
Whatever you want to think. Feel free to fantasize, surmise or what have you, rather than actually reading, keeping up and knowing what you are talking about.
I did receive it, and thank you. It was rude of me not to respond, but I will. I've been working 10-12 hour days lately.
I am glad you are finding your strength and nearing your time to move on. I am finding that a little solitude is good for my soul. I miss my wife when she's not here and my daughters are out, but I haven't had much alone time in 20 years. I'm learning the difference between being alone, and loneliness.
Just to say, maybe enjoy some time with yourself before jumping in to another relationship?
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 06-05-2017 at 06:40 PM..
Reason: Not PG-13.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,533 times
Reputation: 1525
Quote:
Originally Posted by Griffis
I did receive it, and thank you. It was rude of me not to respond, but I will. I've been working 10-12 hour days lately.
Just to say, maybe enjoy some time with yourself before jumping in to another relationship?
Omg, are you kidding me?! I'm gonna enjoy and spend A LOT of time being a single girl and going out on some fun dates before I'll even entertain the notion of getting into another relationship again!!!!!
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I'm gonna enjoy and spend A LOT of time being a single girl and going out on some fun dates before I'll even entertain the notion of getting into another relationship again!!!!! 
