Girl I like has a douche bag boyfriend (wives, older, family)
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I am not saying better than everyone else, I am just better than him. I am not like that with anyone else. It's also not really I am better than EVERYONE else necessarily, it's more of just I'll win if I am determined and push myself enough. I don't compare myself to other people unless it's a competitor, especially one that doesn't stand a chance. Unlike most people, I want everyone around me to be successful unless they're complete brainless a-holes.
Patting myself on the back? I am patting myself on the back for not being a weak-willed sex craving scumbag (giving into "natural desires" aka making excuses for yourself). It's nothing I can't pull myself out of. You just seem to think that all women are only set on having sex and completely ignore success, personality, morals, work ethic, basically anything actually important. Don't get me wrong the sexual tension has to be there but it doesn't define a relationship whatsoever. Any relationship based on physical attraction/sex will undoubtedly end. In your mind, you probably think getting laid at least once a day is an accomplishment. In my mind, that's a complete an utter failure, all you did was set yourself up for loads of baggage in a marriage and almost a guaranteed divorce with kids that hate you the rest of your life (sounds real good right, didn't thinks so). But after all, I am just a "kid".
You'd really be surprised. The woman factors into this too. I'll have to tell you what has happened to me recently.
There is this woman who I have sworn liked me in that way. However, she has sought after and tried to get with "losers" if you may. I've done a lot for her, but she has gone for those losers. As a matter of fact, she has always held me at a distance while she is having her fun with those other guys. To top it off, she has hid things from me and been dishonest to the point where I'd have to check everything she says. Eventually, I saw things for what they were. It all came down to one thing, she is not into me. Loser or not, she prefers those types of guys.
What does this have in common with your circumstance? Probably nothing the way I have described it. But I have been where I would lecture her how those guys are no good for her. Then she swears up and down and inside out that they are not what she wants, but in the end, that is what she goes for.
As far as the weak-willed sex craving scumbag, it always seems to be that type of person that gets the girl.
Your friend may have feelings for you, but you might want to keep your eyes open for other opportunities. From what it looks like here, the pay off might be better somewhere else.
I'll say it this way. If the woman you want goes for losers, then you may have to think about the type of woman she is to go for that.
I learned that I was worth more than what the girl I liked could give me (Even though she is a few years older than me, she is a girl because she has the mindset of one).
Therefore, you are better off finding someone who would love you better. That's what I need to do.
Last edited by TJenkins602; 05-25-2017 at 05:06 PM..
You'd really be surprised. The woman factors into this too. I'll have to tell you what has happened to me recently.
There is this woman who I have sworn liked me in that way. However, she has sought after and tried to get with "losers" if you may. I've done a lot for her, but she has gone for those losers. As a matter of fact, she has always held me at a distance while she is having her fun with those other guys. To top it off, she has hid things from me and been dishonest to the point where I'd have to check everything she says. Eventually, I saw things for what they were. It all came down to one thing, she is not into me. Loser or not, she prefers those types of guys.
What does this have in common with your circumstance? Probably nothing the way I have described it. But I have been where I would lecture her how those guys are no good for her. Then she swears up and down and inside out that they are not what they want, but in the end, that is what she goes for.
As far as the weak-willed sex craving scumbag, it always seems to be that type of person that gets the girl.
Your friend may have feelings for you, but you might want to keep your eyes open for other opportunities. From what it looks like here, the pay off might be better somewhere else.
I'll say it this way. If the woman you want goes for losers, then you may have to think about the type of woman she is to go for that.
I learned that I was worth more than what the girl I liked could give me (Even though she is a few years older than me, she is a girl because she has the mindset of one).
Therefore, you are better off finding someone who would love you better. That's what I need to do.
I totally agree with what you're saying honestly. Idk if she would actually continually go for these types of guys (I hope not) but trust me not all of my sights are set on her. She's a year older, but this guy is only her second relationship (her last one was in high school).
You know when I was younger I got hung up on numerous girls who were either taken, uninterested, or quasi-involved with some other guy. I let myself be friend-zoned, third-wheeled, strung along...thinking somehow she would realize the answer has been under her nose all along and all my noble efforts would be rewarded with cosmic justice and gratuitous hero sex.
Then I got hit with a dose of reality, and after one protracted and particularly painful experience I vowed not to waste one second of my time pursuing women who are attached or uninterested. Mate, there are literally hundreds if not thousands of attractive women within a 10 mile radius of you. Pretty, available girls at your age are a dime-a-dozen.
Understand you are doing this to yourself. If you were to just do an about face and ignore her to pursue other women, I'd be she'd suddenly become interested in you. That or just move on. In either case you are better off.
So get back in that saddle and forget she even exists.
I am not saying better than everyone else, I am just better than him. I am not like that with anyone else. It's also not really I am better than EVERYONE else necessarily, it's more of just I'll win if I am determined and push myself enough. I don't compare myself to other people unless it's a competitor, especially one that doesn't stand a chance. Unlike most people, I want everyone around me to be successful unless they're complete brainless a-holes.
Patting myself on the back? I am patting myself on the back for not being a weak-willed sex craving scumbag (giving into "natural desires" aka making excuses for yourself). It's nothing I can't pull myself out of. You just seem to think that all women are only set on having sex and completely ignore success, personality, morals, work ethic, basically anything actually important. Don't get me wrong the sexual tension has to be there but it doesn't define a relationship whatsoever. Any relationship based on physical attraction/sex will undoubtedly end. In your mind, you probably think getting laid at least once a day is an accomplishment. In my mind, that's a complete an utter failure, all you did was set yourself up for loads of baggage in a marriage and almost a guaranteed divorce with kids that hate you the rest of your life (sounds real good right, didn't think so). But after all, I am just a "kid".
This is not a contest for a prize. This is a young woman who is in a relationship and not interested in you. You don't "win" people.
OP, I was you 20 years ago!
I was that "nice guy" who was there in a pinch, listening to her problems about the guy she's seeing, sleeping with, etc. I'm echoing the others here, but in my own fashion: You listen to her, she cries her eyes out, you coddle her with "There, there..." that's all well and good (for her). Meanwhile, a day or two later, she's back with that d-bag she bad-mouthed to you. You've been stroking her ego, dude! And you think that she's gonna turn to you and say, "My Hero!" and invite you to her bedroom? Get real! You are the emotional tampon...You are so friend-zoned it's pathetic! I was in the same place; was there for her 24/7, listened to her whine, thought I would win her over. Next thing I knew, she was in the bedroom with another guy. She said to me, verbatim: "I respect your friendship too much....to sleep with you!" That was 20 years ago.
Life is just one HUGE classroom, and boy, did I ever learn! Had I known then what I know now, I guarantee you, if not gf/bf, we'd have been, at the very least, FWB. When I look back on those days, I can't tell you how embarrassed I feel!
You know when I was younger I got hung up on numerous girls who were either taken, uninterested, or quasi-involved with some other guy. I let myself be friend-zoned, third-wheeled, strung along...thinking somehow she would realize the answer has been under her nose all along and all my noble efforts would be rewarded with cosmic justice and gratuitous hero sex.
Then I got hit with a dose of reality, and after one protracted and particularly painful experience I vowed not to waste one second of my time pursuing women who are attached or uninterested. Mate, there are literally hundreds if not thousands of attractive women within a 10 mile radius of you. Pretty, available girls at your age are a dime-a-dozen.
Understand you are doing this to yourself. If you were to just do an about face and ignore her to pursue other women, I'd be she'd suddenly become interested in you. That or just move on. In either case you are better off.
So get back in that saddle and forget she even exists.
OP listen to this
There are plenty of woman are there that are single
Stop chasing woman that are NOT single
You don't get nothing out of it only despair and disappointment
OP, I was you 20 years ago!
I was that "nice guy" who was there in a pinch, listening to her problems about the guy she's seeing, sleeping with, etc. I'm echoing the others here, but in my own fashion: You listen to her, she cries her eyes out, you coddle her with "There, there..." that's all well and good (for her). Meanwhile, a day or two later, she's back with that d-bag she bad-mouthed to you. You've been stroking her ego, dude! And you think that she's gonna turn to you and say, "My Hero!" and invite you to her bedroom? Get real! You are the emotional tampon...You are so friend-zoned it's pathetic! I was in the same place; was there for her 24/7, listened to her whine, thought I would win her over. Next thing I knew, she was in the bedroom with another guy. She said to me, verbatim: "I respect your friendship too much....to sleep with you!" That was 20 years ago.
Life is just one HUGE classroom, and boy, did I ever learn! Had I known then what I know now, I guarantee you, if not gf/bf, we'd have been, at the very least, FWB. When I look back on those days, I can't tell you how embarrassed I feel!
I am not even overly nice though. I am still a sarcastic a-hole 60% of the time and she likes it, I just don't get sexual with her(she would use that against me in the future). Not only that what's to stop her from doing the same thing to me if best case scenario happens. I get what you're saying, but I don't suck up to her in anyway shape or form. Unless you are referring to me saying her bf is a d-bag (i understand now should've ignored it).
There's also not an army of guys lined up for her either, seriously. I'm honestly the only guy she hangs out with, I know that for a fact because she hates hanging out with other guys and says "I'm the only guy she likes being around" (ik friend zone). Also, her friends told me that. TRUST ME I know I'M FRIENDZONED (if I wasn't that means she's cheating on her bf, I'd be gone at that point because that's an enormous red flag, not that there aren't red flags to begin with), I hear you loud and clear. Either way I pretty much lose and I know this, I'm just not going to give her my full attention (so basically none), it's understandably a waste of time and I see that now.
OP listen to this
There are plenty of woman are there that are single
Stop chasing woman that are NOT single
You don't get nothing out of it only despair and disappointment
I get what you're saying cosmo I do. The only reason I got involved is because her bf is a huge dbag to her and therefore deserves no respect/honor. Idk y I Mod cut: language hate it when guys are filthy d-bags to girls like her, he deserves this more than anything. Is that right/rational? looking at it now, of course not. Am I tired of seeing this Mod cut: language happen? everyday yes because people like him deserve a big punch in the face from the world, they deserve to struggle for once in their life. I mean am I the only one that thinks saying a girl is "too much work" is quite possibly the most irritating thing I've ever heard in my life, NOTHING is too much work, especially a girl(unless she's a Mod cut: language). I know I should just move on, but I am not just going to sit around and watch anymore, this is unacceptable. Yes, I am aware I will only get despair and disappointment(ik irrational).
Listen to her words , then compare them to her actions.
Any woman willing to talk smack about their BF, isn't going to change when they move on to the next victim.
I've friend zoned every guy I met. A few enjoyed the friendship before we dated, and remained friends after the mutual demise of bf/gf. It's one of the nice bonus's, when friendship is the foundation.
I doubt that either of you know how to be friends since you are putting the cart before the horse.
Keep your distance .. she is in a relationship, threes a crowd.
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