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My brother met his future wife when he lived in Denver and she lived in Georgia. At my wedding. He couldn't take it any more. He drove to Georgia, picked her up and they drove back to Colorado together. They've been married 26 years.
My intent with this thread is to just say that as someone who historically has not taken risks in love and known for being risk-adverse finally finding someone who I feel is worth the risk to take. I may inspire others who are in the fence to go for it and not go to sleep asking what if. What I've been doing has not produced what I wanted. This is me taking a new approach and indulging a question I've asked myself for months.
Good for you! This is huge, consciously choosing to get outside your comfort zone. It's safe to stay there but little changes until you get beyond your comfort zone. However it works out, you are taking an amazing step to make changes in your life.
Yes it is another thread from the prodigal and super logical overthinker you love or hate.
So for almost the past year, I've gotten to know an awesome woman who has stood out from the rest. We met on a dating app. She lives in Northern KY and I live in VA. We done the texting, snapchatting, and video chats etc.
I like this woman because she is attractive, educated, has a solid job, and loves music. I have a very difficult time finding girls here in DC who check those boxes and actually want anything to do with me. I also don't feel like the pressure to be perfect like I do when I'm interacting with other women in a dating context.
She also went out of her way to show emotional support to me when I was in a pretty rough emotional state from taking care of my mother who had been very sick a few months ago. How can you not dig someone like that?
Of course distance has kept us apart, but I decided to go for broke and asked her to meet up in her city in July since i have friends out there as well and she excitedly agreed.
The Dissenter of old would have never been that willing to take a risk like that. But it feels good knowing that I'm going after someone who I really think I can enrich their life and they can do the same for mine.
Buckle up, this summer is going to be big, hopefully, for Big D.
All good things require a risk. As a matter of fact, this is the most logical thing you can do.
I turned 59 last month. I've tried at least one of just about every kind of relationship (except same sex) there is. Including LDR. The main characteristic of my LDR's was their brevity. When I was college age I had a FWB that was pretty awesome and compatible in most ways except sexually. I was new to the whole sex thing so didn't have much of any comparison. We stopped being sexual after a couple of encounters but remained friends and the number one area of sharing was music. She had a very well developed sense of what she liked and she introduced me to musicians that I respect to this day. Vice versa, I hope.
In the mid-80's she enrolled in a college far away and she told me about something called "BITNET" that could allow us to communicate. I was working in IT and secured a provider and it wasn't long after that that she told me she was corresponding romantically with a bloke in the UK. I know that she remained in the US for her graduate studies and I don't know when exactly she emigrated from the US but a couple of years ago in a bit of late night nostalgia I googled her. Found her. Living in the UK with a new (married) name. I don't know if this was the guy from decades earlier but I don't know that it wasn't.
My present marriage is to someone without strong musical influences beyond the popular acts. She allows me to bring a bevy of new musicians to her attention and pleasure. Works for us. What I notice about her and me is our willingness to adapt to a varying kind of partner. Fat, thin, tall, short, educated, not... etc. etc. Despite a fairly significant disability she has never gone for very long periods of time without companionship. It's great to have 'druthers' and even 'standards' but if you find yourself treating a new relationship like some kind of occasion to call the village together and exclaim 'Eureka'... again, I don't know... I just don't know... it really shouldn't be that hard.
By all means, take the Red Pill and see what you can find out but have you given any thought to what happens if you two hit it off? I mean... VA vs. KY... I know which one I'd choose. It isn't too early to bring up. And even if you have, and receive assurances that encourage you... actual reality may throw up different choices. Unpleasant choices. I guess what I am not hearing in the o.p. is the sense of 'choice'. It seems like this has been a long time coming. I don't have nearly what the o.p. has to work with and I have always at least had the appearance of options to explore, to keep me busy, to keep me from putting too much importance on a happy outcome of any one possibility. FWIW.
I swear you sound like me after a few drinks...or tired as hell.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,631 times
Reputation: 1525
Good luck Dissenter!
You seem like a good guy who has been through ish looking for a connection with a worthwhile human female counterpart and I wish you nothing but the BEST with regard to this new manifestation of love, hope and happiness in your life!
At this rate I'm going to be the only eternal bachelor left (not) standing. I'm glad some of us still have principles .
Well that would make you stick out of the crowd therefore you'll have more attention ...... Who knows what the future holds mate
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