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There seems to be an underlining idea going on in this thread that "kink" means you do not respect the person whom you are having sexual relations with.
Prehapes it worth starting the questioning at why this ideology towards pain and pleasure exists when speaking of it in context to relationships before ever getting to the " bad or good" end of the conclusion.
So, you are saying what the nazis did was right and normal because, well, everyone did it, it was common and popular on their area so that must be healthy? You are saying paedophilia in Hollywood is normal because well, everyone does it in the movie and tv- business? Killers are normal because murders happens so often, especially serial killers are absolutely fine because they repeat and repeat the same action again and again? It is as normal as anorexia, maybe they can find some physical changes part from the brain like in anorexia.
Don't forget bdsm was labelled officially as an illness not too long a ago and nobody said it would not go back on the diseases list.
She said nothing of the sort.
To equate what she said to nazism or pedophilia shows how little how you truly understand.
It's all well and good that you would not want to be involved in a BDSM relationship. But to equate that to the most disgusting, vile crap in history? Nope.
There seems to be an underlining idea going on in this thread that "kink" means you do not respect the person whom you are having sexual relations with.
Prehapes it worth asking why this ideology towards pain and pleasure exists when speaking of it in context to relationships.
And, to add another "kink" (ha ha) to it...why sometimes there is no pain involved at all.
To equate what she said to nazism or pedophilia shows how little how you truly understand.
It's all well and good that you would not want to be involved in a BDSM relationship. But to equate that to the most disgusting, vile crap in history? Nope.
Faulty comparison fallacy -
Comparing one thing to another that is really not related, in order to make one thing look more or less desirable than it really is.
Which actually might be the more interesting topic here...
Why is it that people really care what others do in their relationships?
I have actually enjoyed most of the discussion.
The movie sucked (couldn't make it through the book), but it raised a lot of questions about BDSM. From what I've read, practitioners say that the book/movie does not represent the lifestyle at all. My question is, should it? I mean, if you want someone to tie you up based upon a movie/book and not based upon a relationship built on trust - you deserve what you get.
And if no one cared, the movie/book would have flopped. E.L. James has made millions - which is what really pisses some people off. Some people are ticked because this woman wrote this crappy book and has made millions while they make considerably less.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty
I have actually enjoyed most of the discussion.
The movie sucked (couldn't make it through the book), but it raised a lot of questions about BDSM. From what I've read, practitioners say that the book/movie does not represent the lifestyle at all. My question is, should it? I mean, if you want someone to tie you up based upon a movie/book and not based upon a relationship built on trust - you deserve what you get.
And if no one cared, the movie/book would have flopped. E.L. James has made millions - which is what really pisses some people off. Some people are ticked because this woman wrote this crappy book and has made millions while they make considerably less.
I don't think people "deserve" to be harmed or abused even if they do make ill informed decisions, personally.
The movie sucked (couldn't make it through the book), but it raised a lot of questions about BDSM. From what I've read, practitioners say that the book/movie does not represent the lifestyle at all. My question is, should it? I mean, if you want someone to tie you up based upon a movie/book and not based upon a relationship built on trust - you deserve what you get.
And if no one cared, the movie/book would have flopped. E.L. James has made millions - which is what really pisses some people off. Some people are ticked because this woman wrote this crappy book and has made millions while they make considerably less.
I'm all for this woman making money, actually.
What bothers me is that some people are getting their view of what BDSM relationships actually *are* from what she wrote. If people took this for what it is---a FANTASY-- no problem. But, when they try to move this into a semblance of reality is where my personal line is drawn.
What she wrote has no basis in reality.
The laughable part of it all is that she would be the first to admit it.
What bothers me is that some people are getting their view of what BDSM relationships actually *are* from what she wrote. If people took this for what it is---a FANTASY-- no problem. But, when they try to move this into a semblance of reality is where my personal line is drawn.
What she wrote has no basis in reality.
The laughable part of it all is that she would be the first to admit it.
Yes, people have a hard time distinguishing reality from fantasy. People do not know a lot about the subject to begin with, and then they take things like this as gospel instead of educating themselves.
Yes, people have a hard time distinguishing reality from fantasy. People do not know a lot about the subject to begin with, and then they take things like this as gospel instead of educating themselves.
Yup.
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