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But I didn't want to say anything about it just yet. I think the OP is overreacting a bit, especially since she is the one who initiated the "not serious" approach. I would suggest hanging back a bit. Definitely DO NOT let one person be the center of your world either. Things come up and people switch up. It's life. It kind of seemed like she was trying to do what she could to accommodate him and make HIM comfortable at that time.
She may have thought she didn't want anything serious, but her reactions say otherwise. Op, perhaps you should've been honest upfront and told him what was up? Or perhaps your definition of not serious is different from his. There are a lot of variables in here.
When I said I didn't want anything serious, in my mind I was thinking, "You need to take things slowly, and you need to work on your own anxiety and busy life before considering a relationship." That's what I meanf. And I have gone on dates with other people a couple of times with the intention of choosing someone who I could "go slowly" with. He happens to be one of those people, and our history/frequency of communication skews the boundaries - my fault. I think what is bothering me to my core is that I expect some kind of follow-theough to a true invitation or plan like what he's presented and then cancelled. To me, if this were a friend, I'd think my time wasn't valuable/respected. And because this is a romantic interest, and because they have seemingly pulled the rug out from underneath me before, I feel it more emotionally and I am reacting out of fear.
Does that make sense? It is not healthy, but it is honestly how I feel.
Then last week Sunday, we went to a sporting event. I invited him, and we had a great time. He said if I ever get tickets again, that we should go, that he had a great time, etc. On our way back, he asked me to come back to his apartment, which I declined because I had stuff to do. Then he offered to take something I won at the event and keep it at his apartment in the meantime so I wouldn't have to walk home with it. I thought everything went well with us. We were dating, no pressure, no expectations, it was making its natural course!
Then Weds. morning, he asks me to hang out in the evening and watch our show together. I agree. Weds. afternoon comes, and he reschedules for the next day because he has work stuff to prepare for. I'm fine with that. Thursday comes, and he has a terrible day at work. He asks to cancel, we chat a bit about it, then some other stuff, and he thanks me for cheering him up. I'm fine with that too. Friday comes, he texts me asking how my night was going. Saturday comes (I know he has a friend's engagement party), and he (while drunk I believe), asks me to meet them at a bar. I ignore this because it wasn't a real invitation. Sunday comes, he asks me how my night is going and if we can hang out tomorrow (today). I agree. Today is here, I send him a funny tweet, he asks me how my day is, he replies he has work to do. Sensing another cancellation, I say, "that sucks, so I guess I won't see you today?" And he replies, "Maybe later?"
[...]
Me wonders if he feels some kind of way about you declining his invitation to go back to his apartment? You decline, and then a series of failed attempts to meetup again, and vagueness? Given his history of this very same behavior, I'd back off, continue doing your thing, etc.
It's nerve wracking trying to figure out what's going on in someone else's head isn't it? And honestly this doesn't sound like an anxiety problem, it's sounds like an anxious situation with someone who probably just isn't on the same wavelength as you deep down. In other words, you are not overreacting you are reacting emotionally to something your mind is already telling you. Maybe I'm way off base here but just from reading your story I get the feeling it's not going to go anywhere with this guy. 2nd chances don't usually change 1st results. Occasionally it does, and that's why we give them to people we like, but if you're feeling the way you do probably not this time.
I'm a firm believer that most people leave little room for doubt when they are actually into you. It's too risky.
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