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Old 06-02-2017, 01:22 PM
 
24,541 posts, read 18,118,486 times
Reputation: 40231

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lital_The_Best View Post
Well, when we did discuss sex it seemed as if were hinting stuff to each other but not fully being direct. I'm usually more direct but I also understand some women can be a little intimated and are more protective of their sexuality. So when I notice they are like that, I tend to feel it out and see where my limits. Once I feel I can break that limit, I'll be more explicit.
Jeez H. I think the human race is going to become extinct if this is how people approach relationships.

Communicate!

If you want to move the relationship forwards, say so. If she agrees, you spend a lot of time together and see if it works. She's only 2 hours away. You don't have to take an international flight to spend time together. You hop in the car and drive 2 hours. Midweek, you can meet halfway occasionally.

Until April, my girlfriend lived 800+ miles away. Spending time together required an airplane flight. We decided to make it work. She's now moved to another job 2 hours away. From my perspective, that's right around the corner. I've had tons of relationships over the years that were that distance or longer.
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Old 06-02-2017, 01:29 PM
 
24,541 posts, read 18,118,486 times
Reputation: 40231
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Why don't you CALL her, OP? Do you two ever have phone chats? You can tell a lot more from a live phone convo than from dead texting. Just saying. I think you're still in the game. What do these hang-outs consist of? Maybe dial it up a notch, and buy her lunch. That should send a signal.
It's 2017. Facetime, not telephone. It works much better. There must be an Android equivalent but everybody I know is in the Apple iPhone ecosystem. Back in the dark ages when phone was expensive, I used to stay late at work and use the free phone perk. With the internet, 2 hours away for a video call costs nothing.
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Old 06-02-2017, 01:41 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 7,978,903 times
Reputation: 30753
I'm a little bit confused...when you two get together, do you both meet at some point in the middle, where both of you have to drive to the meeting place? Or are YOU doing all the driving to her?


IF you're both meeting at a half way point, then she's making the effort to be with you...and that tells me she's in to you.


IF you're driving to HER...that's a different kettle of fish. (Maybe.)
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Old 06-02-2017, 01:48 PM
 
734 posts, read 449,841 times
Reputation: 1429
After 4 dates, you should have a very good idea whether a girl likes you or not. Also, if she takes days to reply, she's not that interested in you. Add the long distance factor, you're better off dating someone else.
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Old 06-02-2017, 01:59 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I'm a little bit confused...when you two get together, do you both meet at some point in the middle, where both of you have to drive to the meeting place? Or are YOU doing all the driving to her?


IF you're both meeting at a half way point, then she's making the effort to be with you...and that tells me she's in to you.


IF you're driving to HER...that's a different kettle of fish. (Maybe.)
Pretty basic and obvious, OP.
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Old 06-02-2017, 02:00 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
It's 2017. Facetime, not telephone. It works much better. There must be an Android equivalent but everybody I know is in the Apple iPhone ecosystem. Back in the dark ages when phone was expensive, I used to stay late at work and use the free phone perk. With the internet, 2 hours away for a video call costs nothing.
OK, whatever. The question is, in all this time, after 3 or 4 dates, why isn't this happening? Time to take the next step, OP. Or invite her to lunch/hangout, and tell her you'd like to see her more often, and ask if she'd be into facetiming. That should help clarify things, in one direction or another.

In order to move things forward, you have to stick your neck out in some way; you have to take a risk, and communicate. Trying to read tea leaves, or the I Ching, or asking strangers will tell you nothing.
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Old 06-02-2017, 08:40 PM
 
Location: War World!
3,226 posts, read 6,626,899 times
Reputation: 4948
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD View Post
Jeez H. I think the human race is going to become extinct if this is how people approach relationships.

Communicate!

If you want to move the relationship forwards, say so. If she agrees, you spend a lot of time together and see if it works. She's only 2 hours away. You don't have to take an international flight to spend time together. You hop in the car and drive 2 hours. Midweek, you can meet halfway occasionally.

Until April, my girlfriend lived 800+ miles away. Spending time together required an airplane flight. We decided to make it work. She's now moved to another job 2 hours away. From my perspective, that's right around the corner. I've had tons of relationships over the years that were that distance or longer.
Well, I'm not trying to just get right to a serious relationship with her and I HAVE been doing my part in communicating, the problem is she doesn't reply back right away and can take quiet a while to get back to me. So it leaves me guessing a lot of the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I'm a little bit confused...when you two get together, do you both meet at some point in the middle, where both of you have to drive to the meeting place? Or are YOU doing all the driving to her?


IF you're both meeting at a half way point, then she's making the effort to be with you...and that tells me she's in to you.


IF you're driving to HER...that's a different kettle of fish. (Maybe.)
Actually, she comes to my part of town since there's much more to do. So yeah, that's a good point, if she's willing to come far out of her way, then I suppose it means something. Then again, I live in NYC so its not like she can't ever come here alone with nothing to do.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
OK, whatever. The question is, in all this time, after 3 or 4 dates, why isn't this happening? Time to take the next step, OP. Or invite her to lunch/hangout, and tell her you'd like to see her more often, and ask if she'd be into facetiming. That should help clarify things, in one direction or another.

In order to move things forward, you have to stick your neck out in some way; you have to take a risk, and communicate. Trying to read tea leaves, or the I Ching, or asking strangers will tell you nothing.

Not bad ideas, however we've hung out and have had dinner the times we hung out. So we've gone beyond just meeting up for lunch. I'm definitely going to go for broke next time though.
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Old 06-02-2017, 08:44 PM
 
Location: War World!
3,226 posts, read 6,626,899 times
Reputation: 4948
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Well, I don't know. My initial reaction was, "She's travelling for hours to see you, or you're meeting in the middle somewhere, or taking turns driving out of state for each other, and you don't know if she's interested?!" If you're doing all the driving, then yeah, maybe she's not that into you. If she's doing some of the travelling, she'd have to be pretty interested, in order to be motivated to cover that distance.

Why don't you CALL her, OP? Do you two ever have phone chats? You can tell a lot more from a live phone convo than from dead texting. Just saying. I think you're still in the game. What do these hang-outs consist of? Maybe dial it up a notch, and buy her lunch. That should send a signal.

Forgot to reply to this.

Our hangouts consist of going to museums, botanical gardens, walks around the city, sight seeing, cafes, hanging out at the city parks (where there's a plethora of activities) and then a nice dinner after all is said and done.
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Old 06-05-2017, 09:15 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115947
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lital_The_Best View Post
Forgot to reply to this.

Our hangouts consist of going to museums, botanical gardens, walks around the city, sight seeing, cafes, hanging out at the city parks (where there's a plethora of activities) and then a nice dinner after all is said and done.
lol Those are dates. I don't understand why you're giving up. Because she doesn't always text you back promptly, so that causes you some doubt? And you've been buying her dinner? I'd' say those are pretty clear signals on your part. She must know you're interested in her. If she doesn't text much, maybe she's just not a texter. I guess I can see how that would make it difficult to take the next step, and do facetiming, but I still don't see why a simple phone call a couple of times couldn't move things along. I guess it becomes awkward when she doesn't respond to texts, so then you don't know whether she even wants to talk to you at all. But she responds to dates and enjoys them. Putting myself in your shoes, I can see how her interest might seem ambiguous. I think there's no way out of this but forward, which means putting yourself out there, and discussing the fact that the distance makes it difficult to move the dating forward.

So, who's doing all the driving, btw? Does she sometimes come to your town, or are you driving interstate to see her every time? And do you know if she's seeing anyone else?
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Old 06-06-2017, 02:19 PM
 
728 posts, read 470,770 times
Reputation: 436
I'm practically a monk now w/o the robe part.
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