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To the OP, if this bothers you, do not date this person. This is a battle you will not win. And the girl deserves someone who it won't be a battle with. Why even start up something if it bugs you. And would you really want someone to give up a long term friendship for you? I certainly wouldn't.
If a guy I was dating every told me to get rid of a friend, any friend, he would be the one I would be getting rid of.
That's why I actually agree with the comment that this was a test. Not in a sinister way, but she wanted to know if the OP is the type of person (as we've seen many of in the thread) who will ask that she disown all of her male friends or anyone else whose presence he thinks is inconvenient. Because if so, there's no reason for her to pursue things any further.
It would entirely depend on if her guy best friend was an alpha or was a beta or was gay. If he was an alpha then hell no, I'd stay clear of her cause the dude will throw shade at you all day behind your back and help her analyze your every move. It's typical alpha mentality to be competitive and in most cases narcissistic. If her friend is just some geeky beta type or a metrosexual or gay then you shouldn't have any problems with them trying to manipulate your relationship. That type of friend is actually beneficial and could actually potentially help you out in the long run. This is going to be difficult to figure out without just outright asking but I also would never date a girl that was a great friend with someone she casually hooked up with or was fwb with. If they were in a long term committed relationship, that's one thing, if they were just hooking up and are still great friends that's too weird.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snugglegirl05
What about the reverse?
Women, would you date a guy whose best friend is a female?
Of course. Done it plenty of times. One of the people I'm seeing now has this. They watch each other's dogs when they're out on dates. I met him second date when I walked her back to her place. Cool dude.
That's why I actually agree with the comment that this was a test. Not in a sinister way, but she wanted to know if the OP is the type of person (as we've seen many of in the thread) who will ask that she disown all of her male friends or anyone else whose presence he thinks is inconvenient. Because if so, there's no reason for her to pursue things any further.
IN other words, playing games, being deceitful and dishonest. Sounds like she should be tested and rejected
Women, would you date a guy whose best friend is a female?
Of course I would. My husband has women friends. One in particular that he sees for things like concerts ( we don't like the same music, they do). Doesn't bother me. To me it still all comes down to trust. I don't monitor him, check his phones, question friendships, worry about him travelling without me etc. If you trust someone, what is the problem with them having friends? And a few of his women friends have come into the pictures since we have been married, as he started a new job and met them there.
That's why I actually agree with the comment that this was a test. Not in a sinister way, but she wanted to know if the OP is the type of person (as we've seen many of in the thread) who will ask that she disown all of her male friends or anyone else whose presence he thinks is inconvenient. Because if so, there's no reason for her to pursue things any further.
Let's say that Becky and Bob have been friends for 10+ years. They tell each other everything and are extremely close, almost like soul-mates. Now the question is....how come they aren't together? My hunch is that one person in that relationship wants more than the other is willing to give; sometimes it's the man, sometimes it's the woman.
You can't have that level of chemistry and bonding without ANY attraction on either side, even if it's one-sided. Most likely they've fooled around at some point. THE MOST LIKELY SCENARIO is that each person has dated tons of people but hasn't been able to find "The One." You know why? Because they're already best friends with "The One" but neither of them can see it yet. I can think of several relationships among people I know where they were friends for years. It was obvious that they belonged together but they were the only ones that didn't realize the truth.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jgn2013
Let's say that Becky and Bob have been friends for 10+ years. They tell each other everything and are extremely close, almost like soul-mates. Now the question is....how come they aren't together?
Simple, because they aren't interested in each other that way. They're great as friends but have no romantic or sexual attraction. It isn't that hard to figure out. Some of my good female friends I've known for 20-25+ years and it never came up. Can't imagine it coming up.
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