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I'm a woman and I don't get why some women feel like their bf needs to buy them things. Unless you're a housewife and don't have a job, I don't feel like anybody owes you anything. Don't get me wrong, I love having people give me things too, but I don't expect them to. In three days I have heard two women complain about their bf spending their money on their hobbies and not on them. I have dated people who seemed stingy, they also seemed like aholes most of the time, so I eventually left them. When women complain about their bf not giving them things, it makes me think the relationship is probably going to end soon because someone doesn't feel satisfied. Is it possible that maybe the bfs are lacking in other ways? Like if the guy was thoughtful in other ways that didn't involve money, would the women be complaining?
It really is a crock of s***t when they do....christ, if I have to buy their affection I might as well buy a hooker? What's the difference. Do we/should we do nice things from time to time, sure. But do women really have any idea what all of this costs? And for the record, while women and men's salaries may not be equal, mortgages, car payments, food, gas, entertainment is EXACTLY equal.
Soooo, the next time a woman pumps you guys for a "measley" $100 night out, I would ask you to ask yourself, why? If it always comes down to cash, opt for the hooker. Results are guaranteed and oddly enough, the headaches in the long run probably aren't any worse?
Or, so I am told.....
Here's a thought, try to impress the man by not being a mooch? Tell your friends that. Who knows, he may be so impressed he can't wait to blow $1,000 on a quick weekend getaway with you. Of course, it has to become somewhat the norm in the future or it loses it's cachet very quickly?
It just dulls the senses beyond reason the moment you figure out a woman is looking to ride for free on entertainment. Real b****r killer. Ugh....usually one has to know an ex to know how painful this is....and yet, they line up for the abuse....sigh....
No one likes to be used. Not you. Not him. If it's up to that, put up a "For Rent" sign and change the outside bulb from yellow to red. At least everyone will know the terms up front. No one likes those surprises. Doesn't give either party the license to be a cheapskate just don't abuse the kindnesses lauded from time to time. The economy has NOT rebounded and every dollar you siphon out of his wallet is one less he is willing to spend in the future.
I always thought dating was to be a mutually beneficial experience to be enjoyed by two adults. And yet?????
I applaud your outlook. You are looking to MEET someone, not SCREW someone.....good for you and I have no doubt you will succeed.
You know, this is an interesting question for me because I can relate to it in a way.
First off, let me say that I've never "expected" anything from my boyfriend. I don't think I am entitled. And I've never once asked him to buy me anything. The only thing I really want him to spend is time with me.
That said, early on in our dating he set a precedent for spending money on me and showering me with gifts. He paid for all dates (told me on the first date he would "appreciate it if I let him pay.") The first few dates he brought me a small gifts like flowers, a book, another book, another book (I like books), etc. A few months into dating he actually bought me an iPhone. I almost couldn't accept it, it was only after he insisted and that he wanted me to have it that I accepted and we went phone shopping. It doesn't stop there. He's bought electronics for me, kitchen stuff (I love cooking), paid for first class tickets for trips, etc.
So that's the dynamic, even today, three years later. Every date, every trip, he always pays and wants to pay. I'm spoiled by it all. I managed to pay for one date, once (and only because I think he forgot I bought the show tickets and I didn't remind him).
I don't care if he spends money. I am just as happy (actually happier) spending an evening at home with him watching movies and grilling than going out to the movies and dinner. But he still likes to go out and I am happy to just be anywhere he wants to go. I just like spending time with him (not spending money on me).
I also don't begrudge him his hobbies. In fact, his hobbies make it easier to buy gifts (guns and power tools! I can't go wrong).
However, if suddenly he stopped paying for things or the gifts stopped, I would be surprised. I wouldn't be mad or feel entitled, but I would feel that something must be wrong and I would ask him about it (not "why aren't you buying stuff" but more along the lines are "things have changed, is everything okay?")
So it might be that the women you talked to were in relationships like mine where they were used to things a certain way and then suddenly things changed. It would be the same as someone no longer spending time with someone when they used to be together all the time... or someone no longer wanting sex with someone after it was a daily event...or someone who used to have a home cooked meal for you when you came home no longer cooking like that...it's just something that used to be that changed. That could be what they are talking about.
Or they could just be selfish and entitled like you said, lol. But I thought I would give this other perspective on things.
I do not know why I'm even responding, but sometimes I'm just compelled.
Men like to take care of women. Women who don't understand and appreciate that are doomed to continued failure in relationships.
Men like to feel needed and they like to be providers. I could go on and on about why some women can't understand this, but it would take too much time.
I've only came across one woman that I can clearly say was like what the OP describes. I worked a couple of cubicles down from her and overheard her personal phones calls for a few years and she was always talking about how some dude gave her this or that and was actively pining for more stuff. She's also the only woman I've ever came across that I can with full accuracy say was a genuine gold digger.
As was mentioned some people's "love languages" steer toward gift receiving/giving. Since learning about that I've giving people more of a pass on that when they appear to be overly materialistic. For me that portion I scored really low on the online test that they have for it.
I'm a woman and I don't get why some women feel like their bf needs to buy them things. Unless you're a housewife and don't have a job, I don't feel like anybody owes you anything. Don't get me wrong, I love having people give me things too, but I don't expect them to. In three days I have heard two women complain about their bf spending their money on their hobbies and not on them. I have dated people who seemed stingy, they also seemed like aholes most of the time, so I eventually left them. When women complain about their bf not giving them things, it makes me think the relationship is probably going to end soon because someone doesn't feel satisfied. Is it possible that maybe the bfs are lacking in other ways? Like if the guy was thoughtful in other ways that didn't involve money, would the women be complaining?
You mean like having a small pecker and only lasting 1:20 mins in bed?
I've only came across one woman that I can clearly say was like what the OP describes. I worked a couple of cubicles down from her and overheard her personal phones calls for a few years and she was always talking about how some dude gave her this or that and was actively pining for more stuff. She's also the only woman I've ever came across that I can with full accuracy say was a genuine gold digger.
As was mentioned some people's "love languages" steer toward gift receiving/giving. Since learning about that I've giving people more of a pass on that when they appear to be overly materialistic. For me that portion I scored really low on the online test that they have for it.
I don't actually think there's anything wrong with that.
However, I think if they "constantly" expected their bf's to buy them gifts, go on expensive dinner dates on a daily basis, etc. Then, that would be an issue (at least with me it'd be). Not just from a cost perspective (unless you're perhaps a millionaire/billionaire, lol), but feeling as if the woman is only with me to receive gifts and paid dates.
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