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I've been here 51 yrs and came married from the East and ended up divorced after some 8 yrs of marriage.
Lots of divorces and attorneys do very very well.
It's the warm weather, beaches and Hollywood influence.
I took a job transfer to close to No Cal and being up there was like day and night compared to down here.
So much easier for a relationship for the most part. Silicon valley is another story, but all in all much more stable, I think.
I'm glad I'm totally not looking for anyone of the opposite sex for anything but good friends and I have some males in my apt bldg who are helpful to me. And these men are in their 40's..I'm like their grandma.
I think this might be one case in which being divorcee makes you especially observant and sensitive to others going through/been through divorce. So it might be perceived in that manner (and unfortunately discouraging)
I'm not in CA so I cannot comment specifically on the dating scene there.
So you are basing this on what you see locally? No data or studies?
Okay, here's what I saw:
It's basically all the same.
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I think it is a natural tendency to form views and perceptions on locale observations. Kinda like when you buy a car, you suddenly noticed all the people driving the same car.
I had the same experience, but I don't know if it's true of the region as a whole or just the people I knew. I lived in Southern California (because of a job I got) for a few years right after college. I mostly seemed to make friends with other transplants. And the two most screwed up men I ever dated (who really played games with me and broke my heart) were SoCal transplants. I kind of have this theory that SoCal attracts a lot of broken people for some reason.
Most (but not all) people I met from other areas who moved there had issues (usually family issues). It seemed to me like they fled to SoCal from other places and were trying to run away from their lives and start over. But in most cases they didn't realize you can't really run from that kind of thing when you are the common denominator. Even among friends there was always some kind of drama going on over silly stuff. I was always out of the fray, but it was weird to me because I never ran into that with my friends back home.
As far as the men I dated, one cheated on me and the other was hitting on other women. One was probably a narcissist and used to gaslight people and the other was full of self pity because he claimed women always broke his heart (without realizing he chased them away. Hello, chasing after another woman while dating me and standing me up on dates when we are supposed to be a couple... of course I am not going to put up with that. I just stopped making dates with him and he never called again. To this day he probably claims I broke his heart too and abandoned him for "no reason." For what it's worth, she lost interest in him the minute I left... she was playing games too.)
Maybe that's what you and I saw, the dysfunctional transplants running from their problems and just creating new ones. I don't think it's really the population as a whole, but I think there are pockets of these kinds of people. By the way, I too don't live there any more. I got a job closer to home and came back. Glad I did because I met my boyfriend here... a nice, normal guy with a heart of gold who doesn't play games... other than footsie under the table.
I think it is a natural tendency to form views and perceptions on locale observations. Kinda like when you buy a car, you suddenly noticed all the people driving the same car.
I never assume what see/hear/feel applies to the population at large. If I get curious about something I look it up to see if it matches what I am experiencing.
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