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Old 06-08-2017, 08:53 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,402,364 times
Reputation: 115947

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Are you sure it's really his mom that he's living across the street from?

And what's this about him being so busy fixing his apartment, because "it's a fixer-upper"? I've never heard of an apartment being a fixer-upper. Where does his mom live--on the wrong side of the tracks?

And what about that bit where he made a date with you, one of the first couple of dates, but he had to cancel because he had a wedding to go to. How are we to believe he didn't know a wedding was coming up? Big occasions like that are set months ahead.
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Old 06-08-2017, 11:38 PM
 
155 posts, read 85,960 times
Reputation: 124
His mother does live across the street. She owns the the two family he is moving into one part of it that is vacant. I did end up finding out where his mother lived. It was simple to find online. And I found the place he is moving into across the street. It is all as he said and looks as he had described it to me before the move. It also does look like it needs a bit of work from the photos of the outside online. So thus it being a fixer. Its hers, he's going to live there, and fix it up.

I thought the same thing about the wedding thing. Also found it weird that he forgot. I mean he told me he took his old college buddy as his date, and he forgot about it? He had to coordinate plans with this guy beforehand I'm sure. He did text me all while he was at the wedding and then called me on the phone after the wedding to talk, while he was with his guy friend. I remember being very impressed, and liked it because it seemed like he was thinking about me a lot to be doing this.

I mean to be honest, he's a guy. My brother doesn't know when anyone's birthday is, when vacations are, and we always have to tell him these things and keep him informed.
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Old 06-09-2017, 12:33 AM
 
1,058 posts, read 673,193 times
Reputation: 1844
Men that are interested in you will be very clear about their intentions. Don't fall into the trap where you think you did something wrong. Take it for what it is.
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Old 06-09-2017, 06:51 AM
 
16,715 posts, read 19,358,105 times
Reputation: 41482
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
My point was if she wants to make a date and he gives her the "I'm busy" excuse again then she should find out what his deal is and then move on if he's going to be a flake.
How many times does someone have to give you a hint? Just move on.
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Old 06-09-2017, 06:57 AM
 
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
2,492 posts, read 3,022,563 times
Reputation: 3911
Quote:
Originally Posted by amkxoxo View Post
Dating this guy. He was telling me he really liked me, told me he was starting to care for me, how his mother would love me, and how he wasn't seeing anyone else. He seemed to be wanting to see me a lot, and talking about future plans with me. Said he was a relationship type of guy and liked monogamy and wanted that, said he never hookups and wouldn't, and even suggested we wait to get intimate until we are in a relationship. Said he didn't want to rush into it too fast, and it might take him some time emotionally to open up if I could be a bit patient with him, as he was still a little emotionally fragile from his last relationship. I respected that and we continued to see each other, and things seemed to just be progressing easily. We dated for over a month, total of 6 dates and a lot of talking on the phone in between.

Saw him three times, he wanted four, the week before he was moving into a new apartment. But now he has been distant ever since he moved to the new place. Keeps claiming he is so busy. Always answers my text messages nicely and says he is sorry, but makes no plans to see each other. I gave him some space to settle in and move, but after a week I started getting a bit concerned. Every time I ask about seeing him he says he wants to see me and go eat with me at this nice restaurant, but says maybe next week, or maybe this night, but never sets th plan. I haven't seen him in three weeks and have barely had any communication from him, besides the "I'm crazy busy." The most recent time he told me he has been crazy and has barely been answering any text messages from anyone. I was sick of hearing excuses so I just said "Its all good. Have a good weekend" Now I have not heard from him since. Its been almost a week.

I'm truly baffled by this. He seemed interested. I didn't ask for more or too much from him. I analyzed everything and don't see anything I did wrong. I don't know if he just isn't prioritizing dating into his busy life, or if he isn't interested in me, which just baffles me as he seemed really into me right before this move. Maybe he got scared of being in a relationship again, and he isn't ready. He was with his ex for 12 years, only girl he has ever been with, and they were engaged and living together, but things went south and they have been separated for 6 months now. He told me on our first date he was ready to move on and it was all in his past. I'm just so confused. We had chemistry. He was calling me and making plans and begging me to come over to see him before the move, and now nothing. Makes absolutely no sense to me. I mean we met online on a good dating site (not Tinder) and he was looking for a "smart, motivated, and funny girl." I'm so confused.
This is eerie cause i had the exact same thing happen recently. Move happened and within 24 hrs his whole attitude towards me changes. Went from texts that were courting me , to obligatory responses. From having standing weekend plans till no mention thennan excuse. Said he was adjusting yadda yadda. Anyhow I broke it down that i didnt things were working out. Bam now after a month of no dates he is begging me to give him another chance. Weird....
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Old 06-09-2017, 07:17 AM
 
8,085 posts, read 5,223,998 times
Reputation: 22685
Quote:
Originally Posted by applej3 View Post
OP - look at the time and effort you've spent on him. You written a mini-novel complete with every detail, and it doesn't appear you're taking sound advice.

You need to stop analyzing/obsessing and move on. Easier said than done, I know, but that's the only solution.
+1

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I think I'd text him one more time.


"Since I haven't heard from you in all this time, I will assume you've moved on. Don't bother trying to contact me, I have you blocked, cause I've moved on too."
Nooooooooooooo.
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Old 06-09-2017, 07:30 AM
 
9,359 posts, read 6,928,850 times
Reputation: 14767
He could have no money at the moment after moving. Rather ask you to pay he's trying to save up. Maybe just feels embarrassed to admit he's broke.
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Old 06-09-2017, 08:10 AM
 
888 posts, read 553,764 times
Reputation: 1984
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
No need for snarkiness. They didn't just have 6 simple dates. There was no 30 minutes to meet up for a cup of coffee here and there. It seems they had some pretty good quality time. So what if someone wants closure? It's about hearing the truth, not just "trying" to get the person back.


Of course he knows she wants to see him. My point was if she wants to make a date and he gives her the "I'm busy" excuse again then she should find out what his deal is and then move on if he's going to be a flake.

I wasn't being snarky. I actually just meant in general, people seem to have a hard time just taking things at face value. Hence the over analyzing people tend to do. I personally don't think 6 dates is all that much. I don't think closure accomplishes much. I have a friend who always says " she just wants an explanation" when someone doesn't call again. But what explanation will make someone feel better.
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Old 06-09-2017, 08:15 AM
 
888 posts, read 553,764 times
Reputation: 1984
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native View Post
He could have no money at the moment after moving. Rather ask you to pay he's trying to save up. Maybe just feels embarrassed to admit he's broke.

I don't think this is good advice. Why give the OP hope? I really believe if someone wants to see you, they make it happen. Even just meeting for coffee or a walk, that doesn't cost money.


OP, move on. And don't worry about being single. You are so young, you have lost of time to settle down. Just enjoy your friends and hobbies and job and whatever else you do. Don't invest so much in guys you don't know well. Because really the first 6 month at least people are on " good behaviour"...and if they can't even be on good behaviour early on, imagine how they would be years down the road.


Good luck. oh and do not send the text saying you are blocking him, if you are going to block him, just do it.
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Old 06-10-2017, 08:00 AM
 
2,324 posts, read 2,899,850 times
Reputation: 1785
He's either afraid of relationship or more into some other chick
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