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Sorry I'm not married but after reading the numerous threads on divorce I'm just curious on the bolded,
Is that only in Texas? I.e. Anything that's not purchased during your time together can't be divided up even though it's classed as an asset?
I only ask as I've never heard of or even considered ^^^^ before thank you for your time mate
It's generally true in what's known as "Community Property" states. Texas is one of 9 such states, although 2 of those states, Texas and California, are large states in both area and population.
It's generally true in what's known as "Community Property" states. Texas is one of 9 such states, although 2 of those states, Texas and California, are large states in both area and population.
Some guys (I speak for guys because I am one) fear of never seeing thier children again. Or losing thier home and everything they built up with this other person.
I wanted to be my ex crush so I could be with him all day long My spirite in his body, we would have so much fun
I didn't think it was cute, it hurt my heart when he wrote that.
I was relieved to see he is happier now - he seems like a great person.
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Some guys (I speak for guys because I am one) fear of never seeing thier children again. Or losing thier home and everything they built up with this other person.
Unless the father has engaged in criminal activity with the children, no judge would allow a divorced father to never see his children again. Where do you guys come up with this stuff? Many of the divorced men I know (here in California) don't even avail themselves of the weekends or holiday weeks when the children are supposed to be with daddy, because daddy is too busy living his newfound bachelor lifestyle and the kids just get in his way.
Sadly, many divorced dads who leave the domicile with the intent of sharing up tp 50% custody find they really enjoy not having kids around 24/7 and begin cultivating a kid-minimizing lifestyle. When kids get to middle school and older they are busy, and "dad time" isn't pushed, until you get to the point of once a month, maybe much less. This is just how it goes when one parent is allowed to basically check in and check out at will.
These type custody issues don't go to court, because what mom wants to force her kids to spend time with an indifferent dad when they can be at home doing what they like to do? So moms just do more and more of the 24/7.
Lawyer friend of mind and I talked about this.. father's having difficulties connecting with their children post-divorce. She warned me that I too may have strong emotions/feelings as I'm already dealing with conflicted feelings as a father/husband (which is why I still remain in the home to be with them daily).
To say that women are evil beings trying to submit misery on the ex-husband and take everything financially is not true.
It is also inaccurate to project fathers as terrible parents not suited to have children in the first place.
It is fairly complex topic.. mostly psychological. There are numerous articles online speaking to the phenomenon. You are essentially dealing with a broken man at this point; it is a lot easier for women to find /ask for emotional assistance to pick up the pieces post-divorce. They usually maintain custody of the children. So while it may be difficult being a single mother, they can still find fulfillment as the primary caregiver of the children. A role they maintain before and after divorce.
Men.. .just like many find it difficult to fight for alimony.. also find it difficult to re-connect with their children. This is especially true when the children were the topic of a custody fight and/or used as leverage against the father. MOst of the time, it is the father that moves out of the home... emotionally/perception wise.. that can feel like loosing everything. Many spend decades coming home to a full house but now... they return daily to an empty apartment. It is demoralizing to say the least... easier to run away and focus on a completely new life.
My lawyer friend (twice divorced female divorce lawyer specializing in representing fathers) mentioned that after the divorce, she was still able (on a daily basis) find strength in focusing on being an excellent mother. She found great strength in helping her children through the divorce.
The father... is still in the picture.. but as a father he identified as a provider and protector of thefamily. He was suppose to keep the family together. All of which he felt he failed in... and struggled to pick up the pieces. He certainly wasn't "allowed" to be at the home daily to participate in children's lives. With that... he is a part time dad... and that's painful too.
I've said that there are biases in divorces.. not legal but by the people involved. This is an example of it. We don't assume or even allow the notion that men/father in divorce are experiencing emotional distress (similarly we don't expect new fathers to have post-partum depresssion). When they do, they may have difficulties making the right choices.... and when they don't, we assume only the worst intent.
ps> I'm not making excuses for non-participating fathers. Just saying that there are other factors that MAY be involved beyond the seemingly obvious conclusion of things like "enjoying their new bachelor lifestyle", "didn't want to be parents to begin with", and "didn't want/like his children". I've posted several times that I absolutely have no respect for deadbeat fathers... Most of my friends are single mothers. I have a deep love and respect for each one. It is my personal fear that when we split our ways, I will not have the strength to be the father I want to be to my children... even now.. I see them daily.. participate with them daily... but still find it emotionally difficult knowing that I too failed as a husband/father.
) I'm so confident in my ability to make money, I wouldn't even be worried.
This is really a huge difference. I do not make much money, so what I have accumulated over the years was a huge challenge. I cannot easily rebuild, so losing everything to divorce again at my age, is not realistic. In my 20's, leaving a bad marriage was worth losing a good chunk of my assets and starting over.
But I will not marry again, unless I know that it is for the long haul.
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My spirite in his body, we would have so much fun 
