Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I read the whole thing and still side with the OP. If a woman came into my apartment and tried to boss me around or tell me how to take care of my dogs or what to eat for example.. No exceptions she's got to go.. I would never let a woman treat me the way the OPs girlfriend treats him.
I'm the same way, which is why I'll never let a woman move in with me, or move in with her, unless she's a platonic friend.
However... about the bolded part. The OP never said it was his apartment. He and his girlfriend are renting one together. She works a waitress job, and his father is temporarily footing his half (until the OP's job starts). So the territory is truly shared, rather than her encroaching on his home turf.
Okay, so if she's going to be doing all of the cleaning, what is your contribution to the household chores? You both live there, so you both chip in. It sounds like she does need to lighten up about some things--if you fold the towels differently than she does, than she's just going to have to live with that. You don't get a free pass to do nothing, though.
Per the bolded --- Yup. My husband folds the towels differently. I don't let it bother me since he puts them in the correct spot
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
OK, you want her to be happy, but that doesn't involve you running a vacuum once/week, and scrubbing the tub/shower stall? You don't want her to be too happy?
Just trying to get your concept, here.
In any case, if the internship is paid, you might be able to afford a cleaning person a few hrs./week. If not, you'd better roll up your sleeves at home.
Per the bolded: That's a good idea but I find that controlling people don't like the idea of hiring a cleaning person because they won't do as good a job as the controller. My mother was like that. She complained constantly. No one did anything right ("right" was her way) and thus, we were all lazy. She refused to hire a house cleaner because, according to her, they never did a good enough job.
OP---Should the two of you break up, keep this in mind---unless you get some counseling, you're going to end up with the same type of woman again and again.
I just try not to get mad anymore, or, at least not, show it as much, because I know how awful it makes her feel
Well, we teach people how they may treat us, by accepting (or not) their behavior.
If you don't like it, don't get mad. Instead, state calmly "Beatrice, I was watching that. I am an adult. As such, I will decide when I have watched enough. Please do not do that again."
instead of long lectures about, " you have 0 idea how much I do around here..." just tell me to vacuum
No. You're an adult. You are equally responsible for the maintenance of your living space. What needs to be done? Just do it. Don't wait for someone to point it out to you. You have eyes, don't you?
I read the whole thing and still side with the OP. If a woman came into my apartment and tried to boss me around or tell me how to take care of my dogs or what to eat for example.. No exceptions she's got to go.. I would never let a woman treat me the way the OPs girlfriend treats him.
What makes you think it's his apartment, and that she barged in? He'd been living with his parents before then, and she'd been working, so by all indications so far in the thread, it could have been her place, and he joined her there.
She didn't tell him how to take care of his dog. He said she hates the dog, so she lets him do all the taking care of. The vegetable Nazi act has to go, though, for sure.
she knows how to do them quickly & well so what's the point of having me do them slowly, not so well, then redoing them?
You're just looking for validation that it's OK to be lazy; it's not. May as well figure out the mysteries of vacuuming, or you will have conflicts with future roommates and live-in love interests as well.
So it's your dog. You're the person who should be taking care of it. You aren't doing your GF a huge favor by taking care of your own dog.
OP, did your mom used to feed your dog? Who used to bathe him, when you lived at home? Do you see a pattern, here?
I think that before you move in with a gf, you should live on your own for a year, at least, and take care of your apartment yourself. You're not at all ready to share a life with someone.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
