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I used to do a lot of wedding photography, and at one wedding a groomsman got up during the reception, called his girlfriend (a bridesmaid) forward and proposed to her. The girlfriend was obviously trying to stop the proposal, but the boyfriend charged right ahead. She did accept. The bride was horrified. It was supposed to be HER night, not a stage for someone in her wedding party to call attention to himself.
I think public proposals are over-the-top wrong. (I did propose to my wife in a public place, but I did it discreetly.)
It's never ok to propose at someone else's wedding.
My newly engaged friend was proposed to outside on a bench with some strangers around to witness it, so I guess that was somewhat public. I don't think she minded.
Those public proposals give me the heebie jeebies.
Let's get something clear. If you propose in a shopping mall food court with a mariachi band, at center court during a basketball game, or in front of dozens of friends in some huge orchestrated stunt, this isn't a romantic moment. It's exhibitionism with an added dash of coercion sprinkled on top. Because now you're putting the woman into a position of not only having to make the biggest decision of her life but humiliating you if she says 'No.' The only way you could make it worse is if you had a shot clock.
What's more, if you know the girl is going to say 'Yes,' then the whole thing is just inauthentic as hell, your private life offered up as entertainment for others. You are not in it for the lifelong partnership. You are in it for the applause of others. I mean, it's one thing to propose over dinner at some fancy restaurant. Bueno for you, you romantic dog. But the rest? No freaking way. You are just a creep to do it.
So, as a result, I've developed this perverse appreciation for YouTube videos where the guy has some elaborate proposal at a ballpark or live on air and gets turned down. Every time I see one of those I think, "Well, you deserved it."
I couldn't watch the whole video after a while. I felt sorry for the men and women in them. But I have to agree, what are they thinking with such public and embarrassing proposals? Even if I wanted to say yes, I'd be highly embarrassed to be the center of so much attention.
As a parent I would be upset that the school was utilizing valuable time for personal proposals.
...
You said it. By the time they got 5 classes each of K and 1st graders, teachers, and assistants into the gym and settled, the proposal, the explanation to the youngest of them what they just witnessed, and got everybody filed back to their classes (and settled,) I estimate 45 minutes was used.
I used to do a lot of wedding photography, and at one wedding a groomsman got up during the reception, called his girlfriend (a bridesmaid) forward and proposed to her. The girlfriend was obviously trying to stop the proposal, but the boyfriend charged right ahead. She did accept. The bride was horrified. It was supposed to be HER night, not a stage for someone in her wedding party to call attention to himself.
That's horrible.... why would anyone do something like that?
I hate to be the center of attention, and someday, I hope to see a woman who is proposed to in public to kick the suitor in the balls.
All it is is that the man wants to be the center of attention.
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I have never even seen one.
