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I'm trying to get over my insecurities..Hopefully I will one day.. it's just hard as hell to have confidence in something you've never succeeded at.
You can't succeed if you don't try. Find some groups/clubs/activities to join that have significant female participation, and just relax and enjoy the gatherings. Be patient. Try different stuff over a year or two. Ms. Right takes time to find. In the meantime, you can practice being funny, and your other social skills.
You can't succeed if you don't try. Find some groups/clubs/activities to join that have significant female participation, and just relax and enjoy the gatherings. Be patient. Try different stuff over a year or two. Ms. Right takes time to find. In the meantime, you can practice being funny, and your other social skills.
Over a year or two? You said it's not about looks but it's gonna take me that long for someone to just agree to even go on a date with me because I'm not great looking? My god lol
Over a year or two? You said it's not about looks but it's gonna take me that long for someone to just agree to even go on a date with me because I'm not great looking? My god lol
I'm guessing your problem isn't finding ms right but finding ms someone?
Over a year or two? You said it's not about looks but it's gonna take me that long for someone to just agree to even go on a date with me because I'm not great looking? My god lol
I don't know how long it will take, but I always advise people to not expect instant results. And why would you assume that the reason it might take so long would be due to your looks?
The reality is that it takes most people awhile to meet someone, anyone--same gender or opposite gender--that they hit it off with, someone you vibe with, have stuff in common with. They say it's roughly 1 in 100 people (in a dating or socializing context) that you find enough in common with, and find a good enough personality match with, to go on some dates. The sooner you get started putting yourself out there, and weeding and sifting, the sooner you'll get to that preliminary match. It's not only about how you come across, it's about whether you find something attractive about anyone in the particular group, too, you know. It's not all about you. You might try a new activity you've never done before, there are 12 people in the group, say, half of them are women. Even if they're all single women, do you think you might be attracted to any of them? You might not. If you like the activity, you might stick around a couple of months to see if anyone else joins (or to see if one of the women there reveals an interesting side to her, as you get to know everyone), or just enjoy it for its own sake. But you'd have to find a new venue for your dating goals.
It's a process, OP, it's not instant gratification. Try a matchmaker, if this sounds like too much trouble. If you'd started this process years ago, you'd be paired off by now, chances are. You've been wasting your time, and now that you want to get the show on the road, you're expecting things to fall into place in a few months. That's not how it works for a LOT of people.
I don't know how long it will take, but I always advise people to not expect instant results. And why would you assume that the reason it might take so long would be due to your looks?
The reality is that it takes most people awhile to meet someone, anyone--same gender or opposite gender--that they hit it off with, someone you vibe with, have stuff in common with. They say it's roughly 1 in 100 people (in a dating or socializing context) that you find enough in common with, and find a good enough personality match with, to go on some dates. The sooner you get started putting yourself out there, and weeding and sifting, the sooner you'll get to that preliminary match. It's not only about how you come across, it's about whether you find something attractive about anyone in the particular group, too, you know. It's not all about you. You might try a new activity you've never done before, there are 12 people in the group, say, half of them are women. Even if they're all single women, do you think you might be attracted to any of them? You might not. If you like the activity, you might stick around a couple of months to see if anyone else joins, or just enjoy it for its own sake. But you'd have to find a new venue for your dating goals.
It's a process, OP, it's not instant gratification. Try a matchmaker, if this sounds like too much trouble. If you'd started this process years ago, you'd be paired off by now, chances are. You've been wasting your time.
Yeah I'll try a different avenue..joining a group about something I'm not that interested in to begin with in hope that it might lead to something a year or two down the line doesn't excite me.
Well yeah a first date would be a step in the right direction for me at this point.
It still takes time to find that someone. Someone who notices your sense of humor, and thinks your conversations are interesting. And someone for whom you feel mutual interest. A mutual "hello" is not an easy thing to come by for quite a few people. For some, just that is the Holy Grail. You're not alone, OP; far from it.
Yeah I'll try a different avenue..joining a group about something I'm not that interested in to begin with in hope that it might lead to something a year or two down the line doesn't excite me.
As far as matchmakers their pretty expensive
I didn't say to join a group you're not interested in. If you back up a few pages, you'll see that I said to find something you might want to try, something that sounds interesting, since you apparently have no interests whatsoever outside of sports. (This defies belief, but it's what you said.)
How else do you want to meet people, if you're not into OLD, and don't want to push yourself out of your comfort zone to try new things? Some matchmakers are expensive, but the old-fashioned Jewish kind (they're still around here and there) can get impressive results, I hear. And you're in New York! I read about a very successful one in NYC! You're in luck!
Sports: a biking group? Or what about a singles Meetup? There might even be a singles Meetup that goes to sports bars. Have you done any research at all? Have you done anything at all to advance your interests besides entrap our good membership into giving you suggestions you brush off?
Remind us, what was your purpose in starting the thread?
It still takes time to find that someone. Someone who notices your sense of humor, and thinks your conversations are interesting. And someone for whom you feel mutual interest. A mutual "hello" is not an easy thing to come by for quite a few people. For some, just that is the Holy Grail. You're not alone, OP; far from it.
People seem to date all the time whether old or whatever way they meet.. seems pretty crazy that if I tried getting dates it would take a year or two.
Women love guys who aren't afraid to spend money on them. Jewelry helps...
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