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It's a lot easier for women, it's just the way nature works! I always argue this point with my wife, NEVER a resolve, this conflict will go on forever!
How is it easier for women? The person I mentioned in that post dealt with a lot of dudes who insulted her for her weight, or expected her to be desperate and put out with little effort, or who thought she'd be grateful for any scrap of attention. I wouldn't call that easier. Despite all the frogs she encountered, she was always positive and optimistic, and that's the takeaway for the OP.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980
In high school someone said I look like a rat because of my nose and lips
In high school someone told me I should get a nose job. That guy was a jerk and a bully in general, so I didn't really put much stock in his opinion about my appearance. I'm certainly not letting what some dumb teenagers said to me 20 years ago affect me now.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 06-16-2017 at 09:50 AM..
Some people just find it easier to shoot themselves down, rather than put themselves out there. They feed off of the negativity, which is more convenient, this is the best I can come up with!
I'm not sure it's about feeding off negativity, some people are just sensitive and try to avoid putting themselves in a situation where they might be rejected. I can understand that because when I was in high school I was tall (for a girl) thin and athletic. Some of the "mean girls" started calling me "Olive Oyl" and went so far as to taping pictures of Olive Oyl to my locker and my desk. I quit dating because I had convinced myself that anyone who asked me out was just doing it so they could joke about having a date with "Olive Oyl". By my senior year I filled out a bit and the other girls had caught up to me in height so I realized that I was actually fairly attractive but it took a while for me to get over my fear of being laughed at. So maybe the OP dealt with some of that in school and it still echoes in his head, he can't clearly see himself as attractive because of what's been said to him in the past.
How is it easier for women? The person I mentioned in that post dealt with a lot of dudes who insulted her for her weight, or expected her to be desperate and put out with little effort, or who thought she'd be grateful for any scrap of attention. I wouldn't call that easier. Despite all the frogs she encountered, she was always positive and optimistic, and that's the takeaway for the OP.
In high school someone told me I should get a nose job. That guy was a jerk and a bully in general, so I didn't really put much stock in his opinion about my appearance. I'm certainly not letting what some dumb teenagers said to me 20 years ago affect me now.
It wasn't just hs it was afterwards too..I know I shouldn't let it get to me but I'm a pretty sensitive person.. and since I've had no success with women I start to think maybe they're right at times
How is it easier for women? The person I mentioned in that post dealt with a lot of dudes who insulted her for her weight, or expected her to be desperate and put out with little effort, or who thought she'd be grateful for any scrap of attention. I wouldn't call that easier. Despite all the frogs she encountered, she was always positive and optimistic, and that's the takeaway for the OP.
In high school someone told me I should get a nose job. That guy was a jerk and a bully in general, so I didn't really put much stock in his opinion about my appearance. I'm certainly not letting what some dumb teenagers said to me 20 years ago affect me now.
Did you have positive experiences with boys and later men? I think when a lot of negative experiences pile up with no or very fee positives to balance them. The negative can sort of form the lens yoi view your next experience through.
So bad experiences distort later experiences and soon the negatives can certainly seem like a truth.
Sure, the dozen or so kids who effed with me were jerks, but they effed with me. Some kids got none of that abuse and many got a smaller dose. They saw something in me or about me that brought out that inner jerk.
I've come to grips with this, but it's taken time and effort and mostly acceptance that the past is past.
Edit after some thought.
I'm sure part of my problem was that I was sensitive to the kind of teasing and sometimes bullying I received. I mean extra sensitive. But it's a chicken and egg thing, because the crap at school started when I was 5. I don't know what the 5 and 6 and 8 year old me was supposed to do, and I don't really hold him accountable, but I do wish at maybe 14 or 15 that I had not ruminated and dramatized about the poor treatment. That no doubt made the experiences worse.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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A woman I went out with a few times, who was a total babe, and incredibly smart, describer her ideal as Corporal Klinger from MASH. There is someone into every style out there.
As sexy as that sounds on paper I think it could be hampering me in attracting women.
This reminded me of a greasy spoon that I used to patronise in Custom House, east London, when I was a 20 something truck driver.
The owner was known to say, "Do you fancy fat women with varicose veins and fine moustaches?"
When guys would answer, "Of course I don't", he'd say, "Then why do you keep looking at my wife."
A woman I went out with a few times, who was a total babe, and incredibly smart, describer her ideal as Corporal Klinger from MASH. There is someone into every style out there.
lol I need to find someone like that..I'm sure their few and far between though.
As long as he sells enough used cars he should be fine
The OP isn't that person (I know who you're referring to, lol).
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