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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raptor76
It's funny my best friend and I were at a bar watching the draft last night, and he believes that dating at 40 and older is so much easier than it was when we were younger. However, I guess it would depend on what each person's criteria for success is. For me, getting dates was WAYYYY easier now than it was when I was younger, but finding long term relationships was extremely more difficult.
Yeah, I kind of am in this camp. But I think that is only because I was willing to put up with so very much more crap when I was a kid than I am now.
I think the person who's having difficulty with reading comprehension here is you. If a person doesn't want to date a person with kids, that's not the same as saying he doesn't want kids in his life. You just keep inferring that. The issue here is in what capacity does a person want kids in their life. I have nieces and nephews that I love spending time with. Some of my friends have kids that I'll hang out with. So I take issue with your repeated accusation that people like me don't want kids in our lives. If that were true, I would all my friends and relatives with kids. I don't want to raise them and I don't want to take on the role of stepparent. Why is that so hard for you to grasp? Why the constant bashing of people who don't want that?
Denny, I sent you a comment, I don't know if you received it. I clarified what I said earlier.
But there is a big difference between "attacking" and asking for honesty, which is what I said in a previous post. If you - and I am using the general you here, not you or wanderlust, or anyone else specifically - don't want to date women with kids, I don't care about that. That is a criteria that people have chosen. I have my own specific criteria too. I would not date someone who doesn't want to date a woman with kids - obviously - so it's no skin off of my nose. We have excluded each other.
Again, the only thing I care about is made up reasons like "All single moms have drama" or "All single moms are too busy with their kids." As we all know, when someone says "all single moms---" they are already wrong, because you cannot apply anything like that to a whole group of people. If someone says they don't want to date a parent, then that's all I need to know. There doesn't have to be a blanket qualifier for why.
denny, i sent you a comment, i don't know if you received it. I clarified what i said earlier.
But there is a big difference between "attacking" and asking for honesty, which is what i said in a previous post. If you - and i am using the general you here, not you or wanderlust, or anyone else specifically - don't want to date women with kids, i don't care about that. That is a criteria that people have chosen. I have my own specific criteria too. I would not date someone who doesn't want to date a woman with kids - obviously - so it's no skin off of my nose. We have excluded each other.
Again, the only thing i care about is made up reasons like "all single moms have drama" or "all single moms are too busy with their kids." as we all know, when someone says "all single moms---" they are already wrong, because you cannot apply anything like that to a whole group of people. If someone says they don't want to date a parent, then that's all i need to know. There doesn't have to be a blanket qualifier for why.
There was a post on here that talked about the ratio of single men to single women and how it varied based on location and age. When I was younger, I figured that, if I was still single in my 40s, dating would be easier because the numbers would become more favorable. Now that I'm in my 40s, I can see that the numbers have indeed gotten better. In many respects, dating has gotten easier. Compared to when I was younger, I have a clearer idea of what I want and don't want, I'm more confident, and I'm better off financially. But in other respects, it's actually gotten harder. I don't want kids and would prefer not to date someone who already has them. The problem is that a lot of the single women my age already have kids from a previous marriage. I could date someone who's younger, but many of those women are looking for someone to start a family with. Plus, I'd much prefer to date someone closer to my own age. So I feel severely limited by my age, which I can't change, and my preferences, which I don't want to change. And that's before accounting for looks, personality, etc. A female coworker said that I have big advantages over other guys my age because, unlike a lot of them, I don't have any kids, I'm in good shape, and I'm actually willing to date a woman over 40. And while that may be true, I don't really feel like it's helping that much. So I was curious to hear about your experience being over 40 and being single.
In terns of being an advantage of being childless I'm not sure women put as much emphasis on that as men do, I could be wrong, just guessing, but it probably is an advantage.
I'm a little older than you and if I were single I too would prefer to be with women closer to my age. I'd have no interest in a much younger woman because they just don't have the life experience under their belt.
I sometimes wonder if we all need a kick in the crotch in life to help us grow a bit.
I think being financially fit and physically fit and if you can dress with a bit of style you've got a decent shot. I see lots of men in their mid to late 40's that are short fat and dumpy looking. You throw balding on top of it and those poor dudes are just jacked. Harsh, but true. It sounds like you're probably not in that group.
In terms of women without kids at your age, I've posted about this several times but nearly 80 percent of women have kids by their 40's so that really shrinks your dating pool if that is really that much of a hardline criteria for you.
The advantage of dating a woman in their 40's is that their kids are becoming a little more self sustaining and tend to be busy with their own lives and the moms tend to have a tad more time for dating.
Yeah, I kind of am in this camp. But I think that is only because I was willing to put up with so very much more crap when I was a kid than I am now.
me too!! Back in the day my criteria was "cute." Well, most people aren't cute anymore when they are older and now I added a ton of other criteria like "has to work, car, ..."
Here's the problem.
You're looking for a unicorn... an attractive, fit, great personality, childfree woman in her late 30s/early 40s. If you find such a woman, you'd better be a 10 because she's got her pick of men - and she knows it. I know a woman like this. She's amazing. And picky. So.Very.Picky.
Another thing is, all the women WORTH being in a relationship with, are just that, in a relationship with someone.
And if they do happen to be single, it's not for very long until they are gone.
And the complete weirdo's that nobody wants to be with, are of course single, and out there ready and waiting for you.
LOL, why would you assume all what he said applied to you??? Just because you're single still?
Do you see how broad of a brush he used there?
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