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Flash your cash around like your loaded and you home free
I could not DISAGREE more. It's a huge turn off for me when a man flashes his wealth. In most cases, its not wealth anyway. If they act like that on a first date, in my opinion, they're a showboat and probably in debt up to their ears. Besides, would you really want a woman who is swooned by this type of behavior? Haven't you ever read the Prince and the Pauper? (I actually havent but Im guessing it fits here LOL)
I could not DISAGREE more. It's a huge turn off for me when a man flashes his wealth. In most cases, its not wealth anyway. If they act like that on a first date, in my opinion, they're a showboat and probably in debt up to their ears. Besides, would you really want a woman who is swooned by this type of behavior? Haven't you ever read the Prince and the Pauper? (I actually havent but Im guessing it fits here LOL)
Exactly...if a man is 'flashing' cash on the first date...I think it is pretty common knowledge that he probably is not wealthy at all...probably the exact opposite. Woman can tell a man with wealth verses a man who wants people to think he is wealthy.
What would you be lookining for on a first date- first meeting ? never met before? I'm a man and I'M NERVOUS? Come on gals give me some info? By the way not a spring chicken!
Be yourself. As a woman I can't tell you how important that is. Nothing worse than believing someone is a certain way and then finding out weeks, months or years later that it was all just a show to get the girl.
Relax and just enjoy the date without expectations and without pressures. I agree with putting the thoughts of hoping in the sack completely out of your mind. First of all, not sure how much or how serious you would really want to be with a woman who would do that. Second, going in expecting that it will not happen will remove alot of the pressure and awkwardness.
Flowers and stuff, while they are nice I would not do it on the first date meeting. Maybe the second if the first one went well and you pursue the dating further.
Setting. Choose somewhere public. If you are going out to dinner don't do the real fancy type places that prolong the dinner (in case it is not going well) but definately don't do some fast food joint either, lol. Places like Applebee's, Chilli's or Olive Garden are good, they are kinda in between.
Get to know each other. Try to keep the conversation going. Keep it light, nothing too heavy but do try to get to know each other. That goes for sharing about yourself as much as inquiring about her.
A first date should be something that you can get out of quick enough if it is not going well, but that you can also prolong if it is going well. For first dates, I like Sat. afternoon lunches actually better than a dinner because it does allow room to extend the date if desired without a "well what do we do now" thing.
My fiancee met on a Christian dating site. When it came time that we decided to meet in person that is what we did, a Sat. lunch at Applebee's. As he says, he figured if it was going good, great we'd hang out more, if not it would be okay thank you for lunch it was nice meeting you and we'd go our own way. We met there so each of us had our own cars.
The lunch went great, better than either of us expected and so we then dropped off his car at my place and continued on in my car as I showed him around since he lives 2.5 hours away and was not from here. The date turned into about a 14 hour date. We had lunch at Applebee's, later went for coffee at Dunkin Donuts, a walk along a shopping district, a stroll along a pier where we then sat and talked looking out at the boats and stuff until sunset, then dinner and a stroll on the beach before heading back to my place for coffee before he would head on his drive back home.
It was very casual, very relaxing, going with the flow, spontaneous and no expectations at all. There was a lot of conversation and sharing with each other. Connecting at an intellectual level before anything physical. This is key, in my opinion.
I know for us it worked out great. It actually has been how we have kept most of our times together (every weekend since) and now we are engaged to be married.
I wish you well with this first date. Just remember to keep it simple, relaxed and have fun.
I could not DISAGREE more. It's a huge turn off for me when a man flashes his wealth. In most cases, its not wealth anyway. If they act like that on a first date, in my opinion, they're a showboat and probably in debt up to their ears. Besides, would you really want a woman who is swooned by this type of behavior? Haven't you ever read the Prince and the Pauper? (I actually havent but Im guessing it fits here LOL)
I am with you. Big NO NO. First of all if a woman is interested because you can flash money around, is it really a woman that you want. Materlistic probably or who is more interested in the money that you have rather than who you are.
I too feel it is a turn off. Most women will be able to see right through you and see you are merely trying to impress her or that you are a show off.
Besides, if you go around flashing all this money at the beginning, assuming you have it to flash, you are now possibly risking setting up the path the relationship will go. You risk it becoming a high maintenance relationship in which the woman comes to expect that now every time you are together. Could you keep up with that, and would you even want to.
i disagree with the wine on a first date. To me that is a huge red flag. It may be legal but it is still a drug, it is an addiction, and it is HUGE RED FLAG.
For me, booze on a first date is really seedy and implies any of these things, they send this message: the guy is trying to dope up so he can go sex crazy, he can't get through a simple short date without drugs for a crutch, he's and addict or alcoholic. This is not a moral judgment, it is taking in information that is valuable for me to know when assessing a person as a companion or friend.
Now I've had guys tell me for them it's about "relaxing" or "an elegant touch to the evening" or "shows a willingness to treat a lady well" or they "drink socially." Just be aware that for a lot of people buying and consuming drugs is not any of those.
When a man sees that I do not order liquor, and matches that (i.e. doesn't order liquor himself) I take it as a sign of respect. Since it's a first date you don't know if she doesn't drink because of religion, or because of health and fitness reasons, or because her son died in an alcohol related accident, or she grew up with an angry violent abusive father. But it shows sensitivity (until you know her better) to respect her in that way.
it is a compatibility issue, too, so if you "must" be with a drinker or "must" be with a non-drinker, then watch her for revealing that about herself too. It's an interesting area to watch, i always check it out on a date, through observation more than direct questioning.
Be yourself. As a woman I can't tell you how important that is. Nothing worse than believing someone is a certain way and then finding out weeks, months or years later that it was all just a show to get the girl.
Relax and just enjoy the date without expectations and without pressures. I agree with putting the thoughts of hoping in the sack completely out of your mind. First of all, not sure how much or how serious you would really want to be with a woman who would do that. Second, going in expecting that it will not happen will remove alot of the pressure and awkwardness.
Flowers and stuff, while they are nice I would not do it on the first date meeting. Maybe the second if the first one went well and you pursue the dating further.
Setting. Choose somewhere public. If you are going out to dinner don't do the real fancy type places that prolong the dinner (in case it is not going well) but definately don't do some fast food joint either, lol. Places like Applebee's, Chilli's or Olive Garden are good, they are kinda in between.
Get to know each other. Try to keep the conversation going. Keep it light, nothing too heavy but do try to get to know each other. That goes for sharing about yourself as much as inquiring about her.
A first date should be something that you can get out of quick enough if it is not going well, but that you can also prolong if it is going well. For first dates, I like Sat. afternoon lunches actually better than a dinner because it does allow room to extend the date if desired without a "well what do we do now" thing.
My fiancee met on a Christian dating site. When it came time that we decided to meet in person that is what we did, a Sat. lunch at Applebee's. As he says, he figured if it was going good, great we'd hang out more, if not it would be okay thank you for lunch it was nice meeting you and we'd go our own way. We met there so each of us had our own cars.
The lunch went great, better than either of us expected and so we then dropped off his car at my place and continued on in my car as I showed him around since he lives 2.5 hours away and was not from here. The date turned into about a 14 hour date. We had lunch at Applebee's, later went for coffee at Dunkin Donuts, a walk along a shopping district, a stroll along a pier where we then sat and talked looking out at the boats and stuff until sunset, then dinner and a stroll on the beach before heading back to my place for coffee before he would head on his drive back home.
It was very casual, very relaxing, going with the flow, spontaneous and no expectations at all. There was a lot of conversation and sharing with each other. Connecting at an intellectual level before anything physical. This is key, in my opinion.
I know for us it worked out great. It actually has been how we have kept most of our times together (every weekend since) and now we are engaged to be married.
I wish you well with this first date. Just remember to keep it simple, relaxed and have fun.
Mari
Thanks Mari! Good to have a womans view. Friday is the day and not nervous anymore because of the reponse from everyone- lots of opinions -most saying to be yourself and have fun. I will! never thought this little date of mine would draw so much interest.
I agree about the flowers on the first date. But if she likes them and it gets to the point when she cooks you dinner then bring her flowers. She will have them in her home and look at them and think of you each time.
Good luck wyoman!
Thanks Brokendolly! All the input and responses were great and most very sincere. I'M FLATTERERD AND ALMOST EMBARASSED-Almost !
When a man sees that I do not order liquor, and matches that (i.e. doesn't order liquor himself) I take it as a sign of respect.
LOL, I respect people, but I also respect my food! No steak of mine will be ever washed down with water and the likes!
P.S. Thank goodness I'm not likely to have dinner with you, dear.
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I'M FLATTERERD AND ALMOST EMBARASSED-Almost !
