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Nope. I don't 'learn' to 'keep my tongue in my mouth'. I say what I want to say when I want to say it.
Of course we all see somebody that we find hotter than our 'mate' (who calls their SO 'mate' anymore? ) That don't mean we gotta be disrespectful about it when those moments happen. We can look for a few seconds and then move on. That's not being 'super ridged' - it's called being RESPECTFUL to your SO and having INTEGRITY within yourself. Anything longer than that is disrespectful on behalf of your SO and is immature on the SO who is perving on other people.
If you're the kind of person who ogles an attractive person until they disappear into the horizon when you're already in a relationship, then - sadly for your "mate" - that's a character disturbance that you possess that they'll have to deal with.
And, I don't ever walk 'one step behind' my SO...we walk SIDE BY SIDE. You sound like a senior citizen.
Wow are you a little pistol.
I was playfully bantering in most of my post. Apparently you are a super literal person huh?
Lighten up a bit.
"Mate" is actually a word unlike your lazy half arse text of "SO"
I've been married for over twenty years how bout you? That's what I thought miss can't hold your tongue. Actually I was talking about hanging a tongue out at a hot gal and not outspoken.
Anyways, disregard my friends request. I didn't know you were this way.
I'm in my 40's and not a senior citizen by the way.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,533 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann
Wow are you a little pistol.
I was playfully bantering in most of my post. Apparently you are a super literal person huh?
Lighten up a bit.
"Mate" is actually a word unlike your lazy half arse text of "SO"
I've been married for over twenty years how bout you? That's what I thought miss can't hold your tongue. Actually I was talking about hanging a tongue out at a hot gal and not outspoken.
Anyways, disregard my friends request. I didn't know you were this way.
I'm in my 40's and not a senior citizen by the way.
Have a good one!
I disregarded it already lol. Sorry, but I don't accept FR from people who have never responded to any of my posts before or who haven't even said a "hey, what's up" in DM.
'Lazy, "half-arsed" text'? Hahaa TFF! If you look throughout this forum, you'll see I'm not the only one who abbreviates words.
If everyone knows it is not serious, then where is the ego booster? When I know I will never have anything with a certain person, I basically turn into an actor, whose words and deeds, including compliments, mean nothing.
It comes from self.
People who have a higher value on “self” relate value in how things relate to them.
It’s the same behavior in humans that makes things like “likes” so driven, important or valuable to some.
We all have a little of this in us, however how much we are driven or affected by it is just like any other variance in people.
It comes from self.
People who have a higher value on “self” relate value in how things relate to them.
It’s the same behavior in humans that makes things like “likes” so driven, important or valuable to some.
We all have a little of this in us, however how much we are driven or affected by it is just like any other variance in people.
I suppose there is something to this. But I don't think it is a bad thing. I think that loving yourself, and caring for yourself are good, and accepting flattery that is given with generous and fond intent, and that makes you feel appreciated, isn't bad, and being generous with it to others isn't bad either.
If I, as a woman, feel safe that a man is not going to push my boundaries to a place I am uncomfortable with, he knows where things stand and respects it, yet he compliments my appearance and enjoys my conversation, I am not gonna mace him and scream, "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!" and run away. I'm going to say, "Thank you" to his compliments, and I'm going to be graceful in conversation, and if he seems to be testing my limits, I will politely remind him of where they are.
As for looking, well...my relationship has no particular strictures on that. But I was impressed with my boyfriend, when we were at this spa one time. We were in one of the mineral hot tubs on the balcony overlooking Manitou Springs (I love this place) and it was somewhat early in our relationship. And there are several of these big wooden hot tubs out there. A very pretty young woman in a bikini was climbing into the one next to us. I was actually checking her out, and I quite expected him to have a look at her as well. I swear, his eyes were fixed on me the entire time. I mentioned it to him later, said something like, "You missed it, there was a really beautiful woman getting into the hot tub next to us, I was trying to signal with my eyes without being obnoxious about it..." and he said, "Oh, I know. I saw her. But I wasn't going to stare, while I'm sitting there with my girlfriend, that would have been rude, would it not?"
Maybe I am simply too accustomed to rude men.
But I find it interesting what people are, and aren't, ok with. We had the porn & strippers thread...it is common opinion that those things are fine. But merely looking too many seconds, or worse, flirting with a completely clothed acquaintance, friend, or stranger, is cause for alarm. Like if you're ok with your guy staring right up another woman's business, but not smiling and chatting in person, that is weird to me.
But as it did in the other thread, I suppose it comes back to the source of one's comfort and discomfort, whether it is a matter of how you feel about yourself, or a matter of trust in your partner. I completely trust my partner, but don't always have unassailable feelings of self-esteem. I guess the opposite is more typical, where people don't feel they compare unfavorably to the sight of others but lack trust in their partner stopping short of cheating, given the chance?
It is inappropriate and the person who has to ask that question...I hope they are never in a relationship because if one doesn't understand boundaries....one never will.
Stay single if you can't figure it out...that's my opinion.
Another thing that is inappropriate is when your partner looks at another person while you're both out..called having the wandering eye.Both sexes do it...well that's inappropriate but I'm sure there will always be the ones who will give an excuse for that type of behavior as well.
It's just sad that we are still living in a society where some people just don't seem to have common respect or courtesy when it comes to relationships..
It is inappropriate and the person who has to ask that question...I hope they are never in a relationship because if one doesn't understand boundaries....one never will.
Stay single if you can't figure it out...that's my opinion.
Another thing that is inappropriate is when your partner looks at another person while you're both out..called having the wandering eye.Both sexes do it...well that's inappropriate but I'm sure there will always be the ones who will give an excuse for that type of behavior as well.
It's just sad that we are still living in a society where some people just don't seem to have common respect or courtesy when it comes to relationships..
Did you chime in on the porn & strippers thread? (EDIT: I mean the one about bachelor(ette) parties, sorry) Do you think those things are ok for someone in a relationship to enjoy?
Because those things seem to me, far more "intimate" than a wandering eye or a flirtatious chat.
Your relationship--your boundaries.
There are plenty of people who WANT relationships with looser (or tighter) boundaries. They should find others who have similar preferences, and be happy together.
Last edited by Sonic_Spork; 10-23-2017 at 01:37 PM..
Also, I just saw this on social media and it's perfect.
In a relationship where I am expected to make darn sure I'm not "flirting" with anybody because it is "inappropriate", at least according to the LAST relationship where I had to live in constant anxiety that anything I did while living my life might be perceived to be "something" to "someone"...
Now I am so very relieved, because I'm not under constant scrutiny for what I'm wearing, whether I am being just friendly, or TOO friendly, and held to account for whatever is happening in the minds of other people.
Relationship based around monogamy
Relationship based around polyamory
Not the same things.
Neither is right or wrong, however the ways in which you guard and set boundaries will totally differ from one to the next as you're dealing with totally different set of standards.
You can’t just interchange everything at will that suits your own individual objectives. The goal(s) of your situation is what defines your rule book, the rule book doesn’t define you’re goals for you.
Right and wrong have nothing to do with the type of relationship you seek. Right and wrong are defined by the standards you are attempting to live within being not met in some form.
Last edited by rego00123; 10-23-2017 at 02:42 PM..
Relationship based around monogamy
Relationship based around polyamory
Not the same things.
Neither is right or wrong, however the ways in which you guard and set boundaries will totally differ. You’re dealing with totally different standards.
You can’t just interchange everything at will that suits your own individual objectives.
Right and wrong have nothing to do with the type of relationship you seek. Right and wrong get defined by the standards you are attempting to live within being not met in some form.
Even in poly relationships .... the randomly flirting with anyone and everyone might not be okay.
I have known people in religious based poly relationships and the relationships are not that open. There are rules of conduct still as all people are in the relationship ex alll 3 or 5 or whatever. It is not 1 persona just fools around with anyone they fell like fooling around with in many cases.
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) That don't mean we gotta be disrespectful about it when those moments happen. We can look for a few seconds and then move on. That's not being 'super ridged' - it's called being RESPECTFUL to your SO and having INTEGRITY within yourself. Anything longer than that is disrespectful on behalf of your SO and is immature on the SO who is perving on other people. 
TFF! If you look throughout this forum, you'll see I'm not the only one who abbreviates words. 
....
