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so ive been really confused for really long now. I dated my girlfriend for 6 months and it was the best time ever. she was perfect.
but after 6 months she revealed to me that she is a carrier of the hepatitis b virus (inactive carrier). over the 6 months we had loads of sex but she said she did not need to tell me before hand as she is not infectious in the carrier state (she just needs to monitor it with a yearly test for the rest of her life to make sure its under control).
now i am confused about her intentions..
she had sex with me (says she lost her virginity to me) and she never even asked if i am vaccinated to Hep B.
planned a weekend hotel trip for the 2 of us
said we were soul mates and constantly texted and showered me with love
wanted me to tell me parents about her
2 months into our relationship she went for her yearly hep b test but told me she was going for her general health check ups
she acted like the most amazing person ever and like my ideal girlfriend..
but now i do not know her intentions..is it because she was yet to reveal her hepatitis b carrier status to me? is it because she wanted to blind me with love when in reality she may be a totally different person? what are your opinions and would you stick with her or leave her?
when she revealed her hep b and i asked her what it is she told me its an extra cell in her body which isnt exactly true..
when i questioned her as to why she didnt tell me earlier she said:
its a very small thing
she cant go around telling everyone very early on
she said had told me all about the important issues such as her back pain and her hep b carrier state is not a big issue
then she told me i was making a small issue very big and she said that because of my ego i cant get over it and that i am unforgiving..
She said you were her first bf, but that she "can't go around telling everybody about" the Hep B? If you're her first, what "everybody" is there to tell?
OTOH, if she was a great person you got along with, why doubt that she was somehow faking a great personality the entire time? So, did you two break up because of the Hep B thing? Who broke up with whom?
I've never heard of being a non-contagious carrier of Hep B, so I'm not qualified to comment on that part. Have you asked a doctor?
If you were her first partner, she might be so inexperienced and self-conscious that she doesn't realize that disclosing this kind of health information is normal and important and necessary. That needs to change.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 10-07-2017 at 12:32 PM..
Millions of people in the US have it and don't even know they do. No symptoms ever. Obviously, that doesn't mean it's fine for her to go spreading it around. It's very contagious and condoms don't provide protection from it.
Go get yourself tested. If she's a great match for you and you stay with her, it's likely you'll end up getting it if you don't have it already anyway. Her "dishonesty" in not revealing it? She might not understand it herself and didn't think it was something she needed to share. People are woefully ignorant about things, sometimes. If it was devious, then she's not very nice and you should leave.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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She should have told you. It wasn't up to her to decide if she was contagious or not. It was up to you to decide 1) if you wanted to even risk being with someone with HepB and 2) your risk tolerance, precautions, etc. She played doctor with YOUR health. She took what should have been your decision away from you.
I don't know what her reasons were, but they didn't come from a place of concern for you or your health.
How can you build a relationship with someone based on a lie? I'd let her go. I'd also get tested/vaccinated.
Millions of people in the US have it and don't even know they do. No symptoms ever. Obviously, that doesn't mean it's fine for her to go spreading it around. It's very contagious and condoms don't provide protection from it.
Go get yourself tested. If she's a great match for you and you stay with her, it's likely you'll end up getting it if you don't have it already anyway. Her "dishonesty" in not revealing it? She might not understand it herself and didn't think it was something she needed to share. People are woefully ignorant about things, sometimes. If it was devious, then she's not very nice and you should leave.
This is a possibility. It's possible her doctor told her she's not contagious when she's not ill with it. I wouldn't assume the worst, OP. She may not have intentionally deceived you.
yes and i am not infected (luckily i was also vaccinated at birth but she never asked about that).. she kept claiming that she isn't infectious so she never put me at risk..what do you think?
Common courtesy calls upon people who have contagious diseases to disclose that to a sex partner BEFORE having sex with them.
You've already been given some good advice here.
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