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Not long, to be honest. But then again, it wasn't a committed relationship. The committed relatioship two priors lasted pretty long, but I cant put an approximate time frame on it. I believe, the luster lasted more than a year.
I mentioned in the thread asking if one would wish the honeymoon phase would last for the duration, that for me it isn't 100% a positive thing. I think for some who have had heartbreak in their past, the flipside of the honeymoon phase is fear. Like on the one hand, you're so happy about this person being in your life, you want to tell everyone, your friends are probably sick of hearing about how perfect he is, you are over the moon with joy and enthusiasm about your new relationship. On the other hand you're (or at least, I am) realizing that you are giving this person the power to really hurt you and if it doesn't work out, that is gonna suck. I become afraid that once the novelty wears off, he'll realize he is disappointed with the rather boring real person underneath. That once the rose tinted glasses are removed by time, my real flaws as a human being will be too much. Or that he's not really as in love with me as I am with him (since I cannot read minds after all.) All of those fears flare up during the honeymoon phase for me, because I'm in a more emotional state, feeling vulnerable, and forming this strong bond that I am afraid will be broken. I refer to it as somewhat "crazymaking" or an emotional rollercoaster.
I'm at about 2 years into my relationship, and it has been gradually settling down...but I still feel intense things when I'm in his presence. I can just think more clearly when I'm not, and I don't feel rollercoaster-ish anymore.
Well we never had much of a honeymoon stage beyond the initial courtship, but we settled into something better and deeper through the course of living life together, and I wouldn’t say I miss the infatuation stage. We keep intentionally enjoying one another and that makes a huge difference.
It’s going on twelve years and a half dozen kids and I love him more, genuinely, each year. The first year was the rockiest for sure. So no, I don’t miss the honeymoon stage. There really wasn’t one. But what our relationship has matured into is worth far more than the excitement and newness.
My first wife, I felt in love because I was very young , so it lasted quite a long time (1 year) My actual wife, I've never been passionately in love with (which doesn't mean I don't have strong ties, maybe stronger than in a passionate fling), so probably only a few weeks (don't remember, it was in another life).
Interesting. Sorry if I am too curious but: Does she feel the same? How long have you been married for? Does she know? How is your marriage? Do you have regrets?
Married for 17 years, together for almost 20. The first 3 or 4 years were definitely a honeymoon stage... but we've also been through periods of disconnect or disequilibrium, followed by another honeymoon. So, really, I guess we've had several honeymoons.
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