Ladies what trait or traits usually separates a friend from a potential boyfriend for you? (date, boyfriends)
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Only thing I can really think of is their relationship status. If they are married or in a relationship, I would obviously never consider them. I don't think there is any other specific thing for me.
Now, there are many traits I wouldn't tolerate in a a romantic relationship; but I also wouldn't tolerate those traits in a friendship.
When you have a friend of the opposite sex you usually get along well and have a connection with that person have similliar interests etc
What makes a person who you connect with a potential person you could have a relationship with and not the friend?
Is it a lack of physical attraction? Something else? Both?
Not a lady (oozing masculinity, in fact ) but are you going to believe any lady who says that a lack of belief in himself will most likely kill any sexual attraction sooner or later?
I really hope you can let go of this story you keep telling yourself. There's an element of truth to your story, but only in the very broad terms that you tell it. Being great looking has advantages. Being a bit better looking than average, whatever that means, is probably an advantage compared to being a bit below average looking. I'll concede that maybe you're in that last category, but I'll also add that that comparing stuff will kick you emotional a$$ every time. Moving on.
What's not true about your story is that you're SOL due to your looks. It will be harder for you than it is for some to find women who appeal to you and who also find you attractive. That's something of a challenge for most people, but I think we sell people's challenges short with comments like "everyone faces challenges" because while that's true, it's an incomplete truth. Some challenges are more, well, challenging than others. But whatever challenges you may or may not face, you don't need to be good looking so much as you need to look good to a woman you find attractive. There are lots of ways to do that, and you're not even trying, and worse yet you're holding yourself back by constantly knocking your looks. It doesn't matter that you don't do that out in the world; your beliefs about yourself can't be masked entirely.
Not a lady (oozing masculinity, in fact ) but are you going to believe any lady who says that a lack of belief in himself will most likely kill any sexual attraction sooner or later?
I really hope you can let go of this story you keep telling yourself. There's an element of truth to your story, but only in the very broad terms that you tell it. Being great looking has advantages. Being a bit better looking than average, whatever that means, is probably an advantage compared to being a bit below average looking. I'll concede that maybe you're in that last category, but I'll also add that that comparing stuff will kick you emotional a$$ every time. Moving on.
What's not true about your story is that you're SOL due to your looks. It will be harder for you than it is for some to find women who appeal to you and who also find you attractive. That's something of a challenge for most people, but I think we sell people's challenges short with comments like "everyone faces challenges" because while that's true, it's an incomplete truth. Some challenges are more, well, challenging than others. But whatever challenges you may or may not face, you don't need to be good looking so much as you need to look good to a woman you find attractive. There are lots of ways to do that, and you're not even trying, and worse yet you're holding yourself back by constantly knocking your looks. It doesn't matter that you don't do that out in the world; your beliefs about yourself can't be masked entirely.
Lack of attraction, sure. But I've 'friend-zoned' many men for other reasons. Seen that they are bad boyfriends/cheaters/etc. or any type of trait that I don't find desirable in a mate.
When you have a friend of the opposite sex you usually get along well and have a connection with that person have similliar interests etc
What makes a person who you connect with a potential person you could have a relationship with and not the friend?
Is it a lack of physical attraction? Something else? Both?
I think I have pointed this out to you before, but, any guy who does not have a truly hideous face, or significant physical deformities, can, by hitting the gym, by gaining self-confidence that the gym will to some extent support, optimizing his physiognomy with haircut, and facial hair, and getting at least a few decent looking cloths, almost certainly be a "7" or "8" on most women's "10" scale.
So, unless you are really a clone of Quasimodo, get busy fixing the things you can fix, which is most of it, and you will find "the women come a-runnin' just as fast as they can".
Guys who are currently not cracking the "5" barrier actually have it easier than gals where this is true. A gal with a homely face can do whatever, but most guys won't want to date her. Much of a woman's appeal, at least to me, is pretty much hard wired in her genes. That ain't fair, but, life ain't fair.
Look at Arnold. I think I have brought him up to you previously too. Look at pictures of him when he was young. His face is not ugly, but, with that gap between his two front teeth, I doubt many women considered him to be a really good looking guy, facially. But look how well he did, in life in general and with many women during his long career. Maybe he did too well, at getting laid anyway.
The male friends I had that I tried to turn into lovers and ultimately failed was because they revealed weak personalities. They were selfish or scared or inattentive or insecure or mealy-mouthed once faced with a real live love interest.
There was a reason they were generally unsuccessful in relationships.
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