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Or we could just decide it's up to each individual person what they want to do.
Yep, never said it wasn't. Just trying to get back to the title. Instead of the usual agenda, I was hoping to see what reasons men had for getting married.
I'm probably still getting over my experience with my Northern KY crush. I went out on a limb to travel that far to meet her and she wasn't able to be honest with me when I was honest with her. That stings I spent very limited vacation days and money to meet her and just not getting consideration is the worst.
This is why I'm not feeling marriage, I feel like I can't always trust the other person to do their part if I do mine. Being in a household where my mom's picker was busted and she married guys who were just takers just soured me on the whole thing.
I didn't accuse you of bringing up casual relationships or sex - I brought them up in the conversation because that's what so many people seemed to be interested in when I was in the dating pool. I was not interested in either. I already had plenty of friends and didn't want any friends with benefits.
You apparently enjoy the dating experience. I generally didn't enjoy it much. That's just the truth of it. And yes, I understand that in order to meet new people who may become a future mate, you have to have a first date, and a second date, etc. I just didn't particularly enjoy that process and that's OK - it's a common enough experience, whether you experienced it or not.
I wondered why you brought up casual sex too, in the context of enjoying dating. I was not interested in casual sex. My dates usually were, yes, that true. That fact didn't stop me from enjoying dating. Maybe I just enjoy telling men "No". I considered it sort of a hobby of mine. LOL.
I wondered why you brought up casual sex too, in the context of enjoying dating. I was not interested in casual sex. My dates usually were, yes, that true. That fact didn't stop me from enjoying dating. Maybe I just enjoy telling men "No". I considered it sort of a hobby of mine. LOL.
I don't like power struggles or games in relationships. Honestly, they wear me out. I just want forthright honesty and maybe even bluntness as long as it's not intentionally cruel.
And many people seem to consider sex to be a natural part of a dating relationship, especially after a few dates - at least that was my experience (and not what I was after). To me, sex after a few dates is generally casual sex - well, any sex before you are in a 100 percent committed monogamous relationship. That's just my own personal definition of course, and it's a generality. YMMV.
No matter - I got what I wanted, which was a terrific relationship and then marriage to a great guy. So it was all worth it in the end but no, I didn't particularly enjoy casual dating. It wasn't all horrible, of course but I don't really enjoy that whole "first few dates" thing, even with nice guys.
My husband (future husband) was the immediate exception. After a rough start (we had several dates postponed by very strange events on the front end and almost just gave up even trying to get together), we finally had a first date and it was FANTASTIC. We shut the town down and finally dashed off for a couple of hours sleep (in separate houses) before hitting our two workplaces a few hours later. When I got up, I immediately noticed that my face and my abs were both sore and I couldn't figure out why at first - till I realized they were literally sore from smiling and laughing so much for so many hours straight!
Thirteen years later and he still makes me grin and laugh every single day! It was all worth it. But we often joke about how sick and tired of dating we both were when we first met.
I don't like power struggles or games in relationships. Honestly, they wear me out. I just want forthright honesty and maybe even bluntness as long as it's not intentionally cruel.
And many people seem to consider sex to be a natural part of a dating relationship, especially after a few dates - at least that was my experience (and not what I was after). To me, sex after a few dates is generally casual sex - well, any sex before you are in a 100 percent committed monogamous relationship. That's just my own personal definition of course, and it's a generality. YMMV.
No matter - I got what I wanted, which was a terrific relationship and then marriage to a great guy. So it was all worth it in the end but no, I didn't particularly enjoy casual dating. It wasn't all horrible, of course but I don't really enjoy that whole "first few dates" thing, even with nice guys.
My husband (future husband) was the immediate exception. After a rough start (we had several dates postponed by very strange events on the front end and almost just gave up even trying to get together), we finally had a first date and it was FANTASTIC. We shut the town down and finally dashed off for a couple of hours sleep (in separate houses) before hitting our two workplaces a few hours later. When I got up, I immediately noticed that my face and my abs were both sore and I couldn't figure out why at first - till I realized they were literally sore from smiling and laughing so much for so many hours straight!
Thirteen years later and he still makes me grin and laugh every single day! It was all worth it. But we often joke about how sick and tired of dating we both were when we first met.
I'm probably still getting over my experience with my Northern KY crush. I went out on a limb to travel that far to meet her and she wasn't able to be honest with me when I was honest with her. That stings I spent very limited vacation days and money to meet her and just not getting consideration is the worst.
This is why I'm not feeling marriage, I feel like I can't always trust the other person to do their part if I do mine. Being in a household where my mom's picker was busted and she married guys who were just takers just soured me on the whole thing.
Diss, didn't you have a date recently? How did that go? No sparks, no match?
Nobody said the search was easy. But do you feel the long-distance one wasn't honest w/you from the beginning, or did she want to meet you, but maybe felt it wasn't a good match during the visit, without disclosing that? I recall she said she'd go to DC to see you, but didn't really mean it. Is that what you were referring to?
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