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Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
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Have you ever had a friend of yours that you knew was (or could sense that they were) scoping your SO?
By 'scoping', I mean, they're eyeing and checking out your SO a little more than you're comfortable with. They engage your SO in 'playful' and 'harmless' sexual banter and physically touch them in seemingly innocuous ways, like they put their arm around your SO's waist, presses their body against them or kisses them on the cheek or on the lips and say they're "just playin' ".
Let's say your friend is a person you've known for a long time and you really like them (or even love them like a family member), you've always trusted them and you usually would never think twice about them being around your SO - until you notice their behaviour towards your GF/BF has crossed a line in YOUR opinion.
How would you handle this type of situation?
Would you have a sit-down with your friend and talk to them calmly about their behaviour and mannerisms towards your SO?
Would you talk to your SO about it and get their feedback about it?
Would you do a slow fade with regard to allowing your friend to hang out with you and your SO?
Or would you call them out on their behaviour towards your SO directly and kick them to the curb?
I had a situation like this a couple of years ago. She wasn't a very good friend or a bestie that I loved and absolutely trusted, but, I really liked her and we shared many good times together, kind of like sisters. I confronted her directly about what she was doing. Of course, she totally denied it, but I knew what I saw and heard (and my ex even confirmed her behaviour). Needless to say, I tossed her.
That's only happened once, and I am writing it off as my good friend losing her mind.
I wouldn't discuss it, I would bail on the "friendship", otherwise I don't worry about it as I trust my husband.
Sure DH and I would talk about it, or more appropriately joke about it.
Besides that, nothing for me to handle, DH would put the kibash on the whole thing.
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Those are obviously NOT your FRIENDS if they try to jeopardize your relationship with your SO.
However, if your relationship is solid, and you are a confident woman who trust your SO, you should not bother. I probably would interrupt that "word play" and say, "nice try, but he is already taken". Or actually, I would expect my SO to say that.
Yes, your SO should stop that behavior, not you. I would be a bit worry if I observed that he responds to, and obviously enjoys such games. It would mean, that he is not taking you seriously, and will be always open to a flirt.
If that is going on in front of you, there might be going more (now, or in the future) when you are not present.
You should have discussion with your SO, and give a cold shoulders to your "friends". They will stop that, (or not), and you should take it from there.
With my first husband, we knew a girl from work, who was like this. Flirty with my husband, handsy, etc. Talked to my husband about it, and he confirmed that he felt like she was being flirty too, and then I just told her what I was observing, and it needed to stop.
To her credit, she apologized and stopped, for the most part. A couple of times, she'd "get that way" again, and I'd just stare her down cold. She'd get the hint, turn bright red, and the behavior would stop.
By 'scoping', I mean, they're eyeing and checking out your SO a little more than you're comfortable with. They engage your SO in 'playful' and 'harmless' sexual banter and physically touch them in seemingly innocuous ways, like they put their arm around your SO's waist, presses their body against them or kisses them on the cheek or on the lips and say they're "just playin' ".
I would tell her in no uncertain terms to get her hands off my husband before I kick her ***. If she does it again, she's toast, and no longer my friend.
With my first husband, we knew a girl from work, who was like this. Flirty with my husband, handsy, etc. Talked to my husband about it, and he confirmed that he felt like she was being flirty too, and then I just told her what I was observing, and it needed to stop.
To her credit, she apologized and stopped, for the most part. A couple of times, she'd "get that way" again, and I'd just stare her down cold. She'd get the hint, turn bright red, and the behavior would stop.
I bothers me that you (and OP) NEED to talk with their SO's about those issues, and point out the appropriate behavior. I would think they know very well, what is out of bounds, but are allowing it because it strokes their ego. I would never tolerate such disrespectful behavior coming from MY SO.
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