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Here's a quote from another thread the OP started a week ago:
I have been dating my bf close to half a year. He is the best guy I've ever dated, but sometimes it worries me when he doesn't text for awhile. He is working long hours during the week, his 2nd job has him covering for a co worker.
He's the best she ever dated? He's working two jobs? When do these two see each other? There seems to be more to the story than is posted on this thread, here.
Here's a quote from another thread the OP started a week ago:
I have been dating my bf close to half a year. He is the best guy I've ever dated, but sometimes it worries me when he doesn't text for awhile. He is working long hours during the week, his 2nd job has him covering for a co worker.
He's the best she ever dated? He's working two jobs? When do these two see each other? There seems to be more to the story than is posted on this thread, here.
That certainly adds to why it would be difficult for him to drive the OP places. Two hours round trip to pick her up and take her home is significant to a person working 60 hours a week. It sounds like time may be a factor generally and he might not have time to go to her place or meet in the middle if she is popping by while he is doing basic life activities like laundry and other household hires while waiting for her to get there.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict
That certainly adds to why it would be difficult for him to drive the OP places. Two hours round trip to pick her up and take her home is significant to a person working 60 hours a week. It sounds like time may be a factor generally and he might not have time to go to her place or meet in the middle if she is popping by while he is doing basic life activities like laundry and other household hires while waiting for her to get there.
I'm at a loss at the picking people up and dropping them off thing, if someone I'm dating is coming from that far away, they're staying the night. Dropping them off at the bus or train station in the morning, or walking with them their, is a pretty common thing to do. No biggie.
Sure, sometimes people get picked and dropped off, or one or the other, but most of the time people seem to meet out for whatever they're doing that evening.
She takes a bus and drives EVERY day to see him, and I am sure they don't just hold hands and watch TV. Isn't THAT special on her part?
And in return he never offers to take her home, even from time to time, or have her favorite ice cream or juice in the fridge?
You all call her demanding, selfish and spoiled????? Why??
Sure, we need more info - like does he take her out, does anything for her, shows any appreciation (in more than just words)?
NOTICE: she wrote she doesn't want or expect him to take her any other places (work, appointments, shopping etc.). She just think, it would be nice if he, from time to time, offers her a ride.
I think, I would expect my BF to give me a ride when is super late, cold or rainy outside, or just for no reason, but because it's a nice gesture and he loves/cares about me. Perhaps I wouldn't ask for, but him "worrying" about my rides, but not offering any, ever, and expecting me to to get to his place and back home on the bus, would raise a red flag big time.
There might be another scenario: she goes to his place every day to please him, but he doesn't care for it at all...
She takes a bus and drives EVERY day to see him, and I am sure they don't just hold hands and watch TV. Isn't THAT special on her part?
And in return he never offers to take her home, even from time to time, or have her favorite ice cream or juice in the fridge?
You all call her demanding, selfish and spoiled????? Why??
Sure, we need more info - like does he take her out, does anything for her, shows any appreciation (in more than just words)?
NOTICE: she wrote she doesn't want or expect him to take her any other places (work, appointments, shopping etc.). She just think, it would be nice if he, from time to time, offers her a ride.
I think, I would expect my BF to give me a ride when is super late, cold or rainy outside, or just for no reason, but because it's a nice gesture and he loves/cares about me. Perhaps I wouldn't ask for, but him "worrying" about my rides, but not offering any, ever, and expecting me to to get to his place and back home on the bus, would raise a red flag big time.
There might be another scenario: she goes to his place every day to please him, but he doesn't care for it at all...
Who says she goes there every day or on rainy days?
She takes a bus and drives EVERY day to see him, and I am sure they don't just hold hands and watch TV. Isn't THAT special on her part?
And in return he never offers to take her home, even from time to time, or have her favorite ice cream or juice in the fridge?
You all call her demanding, selfish and spoiled????? Why??
Sure, we need more info - like does he take her out, does anything for her, shows any appreciation (in more than just words)?
NOTICE: she wrote she doesn't want or expect him to take her any other places (work, appointments, shopping etc.). She just think, it would be nice if he, from time to time, offers her a ride.
I think, I would expect my BF to give me a ride when is super late, cold or rainy outside, or just for no reason, but because it's a nice gesture and he loves/cares about me. Perhaps I wouldn't ask for, but him "worrying" about my rides, but not offering any, ever, and expecting me to to get to his place and back home on the bus, would raise a red flag big time.
There might be another scenario: she goes to his place every day to please him, but he doesn't care for it at all...
She didn't say every day, she said he only drives if convenient, so it is happening sometimes, and i didn't call her selfish and spoiled.
Did you read her other thread? He works two jobs, and he doesn't text her enough.... Between the two threads I think she appears needy.
I think it is a fair question to ask what she does for him that makes him feel special, what gifts she buys him, etc.
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Oooops, yes, you are right, she is not driving there every day. I somehow misunderstood that part.
We definitely need more info...
After reviewing her threads, especially the one about his change after vacation, I dare to conclude that he doesn't care for her and this relationship the way she expects. And the texting issues are super annoying. Yes, she is needy and a nag, and guy is just tired of it.
So my bf and I have been going out for 5 months. He is a nice guy, but I'm starting to get feeling that he just nice. I'm not a spoiled person, very low maintenance, but I would love to be romanced or pampered just every once in awhile. This doesn't mean in a materialistic way, just something thoughtful, like surprising me w/a bar of chocolate. We both treat each other for food.
One of the biggest contentions I have is him not giving me rides unless convenient for him. I take the bus 45min-1 hr each way. He tells me how much he worries about me going on the bus, yet never once has offered to give me a ride. I brought this up and he told me his ex always expected a ride after he gave her a couple. Apparently he did a lot for her and she stepped all over him and now I seem to reaping the consequences. I only would want a ride once in awhile, I get tired of riding on the bus all the time.
I feel like a convenience more then anything, yeah he is affectionate and loving, but I feel like only when he doesn't have to go out his way. I've been in a quite a few one sided relationships and it hurt to never have a guy do something super special for me. Am I spoiled for wanting a little pampering? When girls talk about what their guys do, I'm always kind of like "geez that would be nice if my bf did that". Almost like I'm settling for someone who has me at his convenience while missing out on a guy who will move mountains for me.
Aren't you the same girl who gets mad about your bf not texting you every 5 mins?
Now he's supposed to be your personal driver?
Have you ever thought of buying a beater car or saving for a car?
Eek. No offense OP, but I almost feel bad for your bf. Nothing he does is good enough for you.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,709 times
Reputation: 1525
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonnymarkjiz
Aren't you the same girl who gets mad about your bf not texting you every 5 mins?
Now he's supposed to be your personal driver?
Have you ever thought of buying a beater car or saving for a car?
Eek. No offense OP, but I almost feel bad for your bf. Nothing he does is good enough for you.
I've already covered those sentiments in my initial post to the OP. She has yet to respond to it, and, it appears as though she will most likely never purchase a cheapo used car because "finding parking for the car is a PITA."
She also expects this guy to buy her regular food gifts to keep in his refrigerator for her and for him to "make her feel special"...and, she casually mentioned that the nice gifts he bought for her while he was on vacation (which IMO was very thoughtful) "won't hold her for the rest of the relationship".
Either the OP is very young, or she's....well, never mind.
I'm sure I'm projecting here but isn't this a case of she's way more into him than he is into her? I mean he sounds like the kind of guy that, sure, is grateful when she comes over for the sex but if she wasn't there, "meh" would be his response.
In other words, her going out there every day on a bus isn't for HIM, it's for HER because she is a little bit needy and a little bit clingy. And then she wants him to respond with gestures of affection and he doesn't feel the need to because in his mind, losing her isn't that big a deal.
OP, this guy (most guys) will move mountains for the right girl, but unfortunately that girl isn't you. It might be timing or compatibility, whatever it is, this isn't going to work IMO. Good luck.
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Isn't THAT special on her part?
