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Do you feel that people who do not want children struggle more to find a long-term partner?
I know there are many circumstances that can be associated with this question.
Let us just say that in this case, the people who do not want to have children are financially independent, responsible, independent, and emotionally stable. Under those circumstances do you feel that those individuals will struggle to find a long-term partner who do not want children as well?
Speaking from experience and fitting all those conditions, yes it was a struggle. There were several people along the way that I had to end it because they firmly wanted children. I really believe if OLD had been around earlier, I would have had much better success because I wouldn't have known from the get go that they wanted children and wouldn't have bothered. In any case, it turned out well for me. As the saying goes, "good things come to those who wait".
I don't get what you're saying. I'm fine with or without. What's confusing about that?
I don't know. It is confusing to me. I also thought people were very definitive on whether they wanted children. It is either a definite yes, or definite no.
I don't know. It is confusing to me. I also thought people were very definitive on whether they wanted children. It is either a definite yes, or definite no.
I think it has more to do with being okay with having kids, but could be alright without them.
That's where I fall as well. For me, it's more about finding the right partner.
Do you feel that people who do not want children struggle more to find a long-term partner?
I know there are many circumstances that can be associated with this question.
Let us just say that in this case, the people who do not want to have children are financially independent, responsible, independent, and emotionally stable. Under those circumstances do you feel that those individuals will struggle to find a long-term partner who do not want children as well?
If all the factors you list are in place, then potentially yes, more difficulty.
However, more and more people are willingly forgoing children as a lifestyle choice, men and women alike. I suspect this is an evolutionary curbing mechanism, Nature taking a hand in a dangerous population boom.
In general, I believe it is more challenging. However, it seems that it is getting easier as more and more people are placing lesser priority on having children; society used to gauge the success of a family by the number of children but that is all but gone as it seems. I think single parents are facing far more difficulties whether or not they are open to the idea of having additional children.
As you age mid-late 40s, pretty much everyone who wanted to have children already has and many children are already approaching adulthood. These single parents re-enter the dating pool and those that never wanted to have children are starting to see them as options. In this group, there really isn't an expectation that one has to be the new parent... simply the mom's or dad's boyfriend/girlfriend would suffice. You only have to accept that children will always be a priority albeit and hopefully far less demanding independent adult-children.
I have a friend in this group as both of her children are out of the house into adulthood. Dating her is pretty much no different from dating a person who does not desire to have children. She is pretty much looking for a companion for the latter part of her life; currently dating a man who is 12 years her junior in fact.
In my first marriage, about a million years ago now, it was something that neither of us discussed, I can only guess that she expected to have children, she was only 20 when we married, and I at 21, probably thought that we’d have some anyway, although I don’t recall thinking seriously about it, we duly had 2 sons within 5 years, but were divorced, (my fault 100%), after 10 years of marriage.
Around age 42-43, I was eventually struck by un coup de foudre, and ready and wanting to settle down again.
I discussed it seriously with my intended bride, who at 22, had had a brief and violent marriage to the wrong guy, and I could only tell her the truth, “I love you to bits Nicole, and I want to be with you forever, but I’ve been poor, and now I’m doing okay, I’m not going to be poor again, so I don’t see more children in my future.”
I went on, “You’re young, and it’s highly likely that you’ll want to be a mother, if that’s what you really want, then walk away and I hope you’ll have a happy life, and I’ll always love you.”
She took a long weekend to think about things, then called me and said, “Come and get me, I don’t want to lose you.”
We’ve been together ever since, and married years later, in 1994, the subject of children was never raised.
Some may consider me selfish, but I just told her the truth as I saw it, I loved her, but was prepared to lose her, we’re happy together now, and always have been.
It wasn't for me, nor for any of the other child-free-by-choice couples we know. All of us met by our mid 20's with a few couples being HS sweethearts. Not like I was crazy involved in dating either (nothing seriously/over a couple months, about 6 girls that I saw more than twice till 25 when I met my wife). We've been together for 18 years now. Like all other success stories, it was something we discussed Before getting to the engaged stage of things.
As with everything else in life, it's 50% chance (or dumb luck, your choice on terminology). It sure looks like it's gotten a *lot* easier to find like-minded folks since the late 90's when I met my wife.
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