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People of all ages and sexes play video games. Also, if her phone is better, then it makes sense that he would use hers to play certain games on since some games arent compatible with older phones.
yeah, back in the day I used to use my ex husbands phone for everything my little crap phone couldn't do. Since I hardly got an calls, it made sense to have one good one and one for emergencies.
Most people I know have the passwords of their spouses stuff or answer their phone or give it to each other for texting mutual friends. Nothing wrong with it - if you have nothing to hide.
my husband woke up before I did and saw it on my phone...The late night text really, really, really bothered him.
...
Ever since, my husband has made smart little comments about my ex or about me cheating on him. He also checks my "blocked messages" folder (Android) and my messenger on Facebook several times a day.
So your husband has already been checking your phone, and now that he has some "ammo" he's going full bore.
Sounds to me like he's projecting his misdeeds on to you. Do you have a reason to think he might be cheating on you?
FWIW- I had a relationship where I was accused of cheating and inappropriate conversations with guy friends/co-workers. If an ex-boyfriend spoke to me he would have a melt down. I was doing nothing inappropriate. Turns out he was cheating and having inappropriate conversations with his female friends and co workers. Granted this was a dysfunctional relationship and we were young. Not saying this is what is happening here, but he may be projecting some guilt on to you.
As for my husband and his ex's...well, other than, like, school "girlfriends" and stuff, he only has four main ones. When we lived in his hometown, we saw one around every now and then, and they just didn't act like they knew each other. She's, umm..."dated" a LOT of men from that area, including all of my husband's friends and his brother. With his other ex's, there was...shall I say...a lot of drama involved in the break-ups. Like, my husband ended up getting arrested before it was over with with two of them. The other is his kids' mom, who lives somewhat far away and who is married and refuses to communicate with him, including about the kids. That's a whole separate thing that we're dealing with (through the court system). So anyway, I think it's probably safe to say that we aren't going to be hearing from his ex-girlfriends.
As far as the last part of your post...one thing that I have been thinking about is that this is kinda my husband's "gotcha" moment that he's clinging to or something. We have had some problems in our relationship. He is a recovering cocaine addict, so we are still rebuilding trust on some things (mostly financial things). When he still drank (he was never an alcoholic or anything...coke has always been his drug of choice...but he did drink "socially" for a while), he was a destructive and mean drunk. He did quit drinking two years ago after a very serious drinking and driving car accident that almost killed us both. (Long story.) I am very proud of him about his recovery. That said, I think he feels some guilt about everything that he's done in the past.
I don't really know how to say what I'm thinking about this without sounding like a holier-than-he jerk, but here it goes. I'm not saying I'm perfect because I'm not, but I really haven't caused too many problems in our relationship. I've always been honest with him about things and have stuck by him through a lot more than most probably would have. I've carried us through financially and have provided both of us with a fairly decent life. I do drink a little more wine than I probably should, but always at home...I never get into trouble, I never really "act up" or anything like that. All of our problems have pretty much been things that he has done and my own enabling/codependency behaviors. So, in a way, I kind of feel like this is the "one thing" that I've "done" that he's kinda clinging to....sort of a "See, you're not perfect! I did what I did, but it was never related to ANOTHER WOMAN. Here you are TALKING TO ANOTHER MAN. AN EX." He's pretty much said such, actually. So I kind of think maybe that's why he's not letting it go...he doesn't get a lot of chances to "bust" me for things, so when he does, he soaks it up...
This is A LOT of baggage.
Your spouse is projecting his own capacity for negative behavior onto you, and if he's preoccupied with "leveling the playing field, " so that he can feel like he isn't the only one whose actions are damaging to your marriage, and holding it over your head that some drunk ex messaging you makes you as culpable for issues in the relationship as his being an addict and drunk driver with a pile of ex drama himself does...that's a problem.
I have an ex who I have known since I was 15. We dated when I was 17/18 and he was 21/22. I lost my virginity to him. Our relationship wasn't bad or good. It was kinda like we liked/loved one another as friends. There was no "chemistry" or anything. We parted amicably and kept in touch with one another for the next few years, and we ended up hooking up on a random New Year's Eve years after we broke up.
When my husband and I first got together -- almost eight years ago, when I was 22 -- we had the "sex" conversation. I told him the last person I had sex with before we got together was my ex. Cool. We go through a long relationship, marriage, blah blah...
I guess the above-mentioned ex broke up with his long-term girlfriend (who I guess he had in the meantime since I've been with my husband...we haven't been communicating) and sent me a message on Facebook. We had a very short, cordial conversation.
Late at night, he sent me another Facebook message another time that said that I was always his favorite drinking buddy and that we should get together and drink together again. I messaged him and said that we did have a lot of fun but that I didn't think that would be appropriate. I ended up blocking him on Facebook because I didn't want to continue such conversations with him or upset my husband.
Well, I've had the same phone number for a very long time, and I guess he still had it, so he sent me a late night text message..."Hi." is what it said. I didn't remember his number off the top of my head but knew it when I saw it.
I was asleep when he sent it, but my husband woke up before I did and saw it on my phone. He asked me who it was, and i was honest. He was immediately really mad. I guess all he could think of or remember is that this is the last person I had sex with before him. The late night text really, really, really bothered him.
I texted the ex back -- in front of my husband -- and told him that I'm happily married and that I just don't think it's appropriate for us to talk to one another. Then, I blocked his number.
Ever since, my husband has made smart little comments about my ex or about me cheating on him. He also checks my "blocked messages" folder (Android) and my messenger on Facebook several times a day.
I'd be a bit jealous and upset if one of his ex's messaged him out of the blue, too, so I understand why he's upset. But I just don't know what to do. I did not initiate these messages. I don't hate my ex, but I have zero interest in him.
Here's what you do.
Next time the guy texts, call him then hand the phone over to your husband. Or, even better, call him up and say, "Hi, Joe? Thanks for all the texts. Now, I'd like for you to speak to my husband." Either way, that will end it PDQ.
In the case of your husband, tell him it's not funny anymore. It's not your fault you're being stalked. And if he keeps it up, fling something at his head.
My wife and I call the year after I was married, "The Year Of The Drunken Dial." It was as if every ex-girlfriend I ever had all called in a twelve month period just to see what I was up to. My wife was incredibly graceful about it. She'd answer the phone, hand it to me, and leave the room.
Ever since, my husband has made smart little comments about my ex or about me cheating on him. He also checks my "blocked messages" folder (Android) and my messenger on Facebook several times a day.
I'd be a bit jealous and upset if one of his ex's messaged him out of the blue, too, so I understand why he's upset. But I just don't know what to do. I did not initiate these messages. I don't hate my ex, but I have zero interest in him.
We've made quite a world here haven't we people?
Problem is your husband will never know for sure what the truth is. In the climate today, where truth is largely not to be expected from other people this one incident can destroy everything.
Problem is your husband will never know for sure what the truth is. In the climate today, where truth is largely not to be expected from other people this one incident can destroy everything.
Good luck.
Sadly, this is true. I hope for OP that this isn't causing a permanent problem and goes away soon.
Just block the person and his #. No need for further communication ever.
Just have an adult conversation with your hubby and explain your intentions. All should then be resolved.
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