Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-09-2017, 08:41 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,579,270 times
Reputation: 98359

Advertisements

Even if he were trying to be a player, OP, he's not being very smart about it. Most guys know you don't have to "like" and "follow" in order to look.

So either he doesn't know you're keeping track, OP, or he doesn't care. If he doesn't care because it's meaningless to him, that's fine. But it's still disrespectful.

If he doesn't care because you're not Ms. Right but Ms. Right Now then you need to ask why YOU are wasting time with him.

How old ARE you?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-09-2017, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Corydon, IN
3,688 posts, read 4,997,828 times
Reputation: 7588
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
You aren't in a relationship, right? Sounds like you're FWB.

He's prowling. That's all. He has sex with you right now and is content to "play house," with the occasional baby and marriage comment.

But I'm the end he knows deep down you aren't the one, so ... still he looks. Keeping his options open.
This.

You said in a later post no, you're not FWB, you haven't had sex.

You are FUN, and you see this as more than it is.

He is, even without sex, "playing house" and that's all. You are his COMFORT gal, and nice to joke with.

He is a "collector." It's not about finding the right woman, it's about enjoying oneself, and he enjoys pics. The women taking selfies, I guarantee more than one of them are posting risqué, or even nude pics, and he's enjoying those.

YOU are -- and sorry, but here it comes -- "Old Shep." Old Shep will never turn you down on a rainy night. Old Shep is there when you need a shoulder. Old Shep is always faithful.

Once you all have sex a few times, he will drift away, become too busy, life will get in the way, and he'll disappear almost forever, showing up once in a while for some comfort sex. UNTIL then, you're a gradual project, a work in progress, a challenge of sorts.

If you confront him with this, NO, why would you think that? People are jerks, come here, let's hug, no, you're more than that.

If you were such a person, even unconsciously, what would YOU say to such a thing?


Stop seeing yourself as in a relationship with this person. You're not. The relationship and any fidelity attached to it is all in your mind, not in the real world.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2017, 10:00 AM
 
134 posts, read 119,352 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonnymarkjiz View Post
So if everything is going great, why does something meaningless as him following random women on Instagram even matter?

Focus on you and him. Not things that don't matter. Unless he's throwing it in your face or he's like "Im talking to this hawt girl on IG and Imma slip in her DM's", what exactly is the issue? Lots of guys do that. I'm pretty sure I've followed a few random IG women in the past just because, it means absolutely nothing, though.

because I'd rather not be.around someone who's perhaps befriending other.women. in that case i would.find.someone else worthy of.my.time. That's it really. also it makes me feel less.attractive even though so many guys cent on how "beautiful" I am. with.tis one I think what's the need to check them out whilst.also doing who knows.what.

it might not mean someting.to a guy becsuse I suppose.a lot of men av loose morals but it.it.with mean someting.to the woman
.that he feels the need to slip into dms
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2017, 10:08 AM
 
134 posts, read 119,352 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Because he can't spend time with a woman on the computer.
You're real...that's why he "waste so much time on me".
Sounds like a freak to me....I don't understand why you're so interested in a man who feels the need to "follow" a different women every day...that's weird.
to be honest we were friends first and reading.all these.comments makes me wish i'd kept it.as such. well I didn't realise how many.he was following.till recently. I mean one two maybe three an xcuse.cn b made.for but over a hundred is.a bit pathetic. maybe it's the lack of "sex" that's got him all desperate 😈 obviously I dnt want.to bring it up because then.he will be like why you lookig that up
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2017, 10:11 AM
 
134 posts, read 119,352 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Even if he were trying to be a player, OP, he's not being very smart about it. Most guys know you don't have to "like" and "follow" in order to look.

So either he doesn't know you're keeping track, OP, or he doesn't care. If he doesn't care because it's meaningless to him, that's fine. But it's still disrespectful.

If he doesn't care because you're not Ms. Right but Ms. Right Now then you need to ask why YOU are wasting time with him.

How old ARE you?
Im in my twenties. does that matter?
I always make.indirect.comments like that and he just brushes it off or he says in paranoid and insecure apparently.

One time I called him in the middle of the night it ws pretty late fr hm to be talking..to one of his guy friends but who knows.either way he jst denied it.that he wasn't even on the phone but it said call waiting on my end so I assumed
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2017, 10:17 AM
 
134 posts, read 119,352 times
Reputation: 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch View Post
This.

You said in a later post no, you're not FWB, you haven't had sex.

You are FUN, and you see this as more than it is.

He is, even without sex, "playing house" and that's all. You are his COMFORT gal, and nice to joke with.

He is a "collector." It's not about finding the right woman, it's about enjoying oneself, and he enjoys pics. The women taking selfies, I guarantee more than one of them are posting risqué, or even nude pics, and he's enjoying those.

YOU are -- and sorry, but here it comes -- "Old Shep." Old Shep will never turn you down on a rainy night. Old Shep is there when you need a shoulder. Old Shep is always faithful.

Once you all have sex a few times, he will drift away, become too busy, life will get in the way, and he'll disappear almost forever, showing up once in a while for some comfort sex. UNTIL then, you're a gradual project, a work in progress, a challenge of sorts.

If you confront him with this, NO, why would you think that? People are jerks, come here, let's hug, no, you're more than that.

If you were such a person, even unconsciously, what would YOU say to such a thing?


Stop seeing yourself as in a relationship with this person. You're not. The relationship and any fidelity attached to it is all in your mind, not in the real world.
well I go on how someone is with me. and apart from that all the perving away he treats me like his other half.

obviously I wouldn't stand for it. but evrytym I bring up something like that he does pretty much say im insecure and crazy ..apparently. I think I'm pretty normal though.and im nt the kind of person who would give s** away fr free. so good luck to hm trying.trying.to get that.

if what you're saying is correct. I think he's pretty stupid then ..since.these woman are.average looks.wise. I just the ought.since we have been friends for years he would look out for me.more.than that. he did used.to warn me.shout other guys like that before.how.ironic. like.when we were.friends he said he I should watch out for guys who just want s** a bt strange if he becomes like ome of those guys
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2017, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC
4,178 posts, read 2,627,750 times
Reputation: 3659
Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches91 View Post
because I'd rather not be.around someone who's perhaps befriending other.women. in that case i would.find.someone else worthy of.my.time. That's it really. also it makes me feel less.attractive even though so many guys cent on how "beautiful" I am. with.tis one I think what's the need to check them out whilst.also doing who knows.what.

it might not mean someting.to a guy becsuse I suppose.a lot of men av loose morals but it.it.with mean someting.to the woman
.that he feels the need to slip into dms
You sound very insecure with yourself. This is where the main problem lies.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2017, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Florida
23,154 posts, read 26,055,042 times
Reputation: 27887
Yeah, really strange he's interested in looking at women! "Those guys who want some". You mean like normal guys?
Ya' know, if he were following one or two local girls, you might have cause to wonder what's going on.
Looking at dozens/hundreds? Today's substitute for Playboy
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2017, 05:01 PM
 
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 669,650 times
Reputation: 1525
Sorry to tell you this OP....but this guy is just not that into you. Because if he were, he wouldn't be following, 'liking' and perving hundreds of plain-jane selfies on IG.

You say everything else is just 'peachy' with the way he treats you and all, BUT, it seems that this one thing is eating away at you - so, in reality, everything else really isn't hunky dory with this guy, because this ONE thing that he's doing is adversely affecting you and your feelings towards him...and, it's spilling over onto everything else in this relationship/friendship.

Since both of you have not yet consummated this 'relationship' and the fact that he does everything with you BUT treat you like an actual GF, I highly doubt that his heart is in this. It's almost like he's playing "Let's pretend I have a girlfriend" until he actually does find one. And when that happens, he will most likely dump you.

If what he does really bothers you to the core, then the only thing left for you to do is to END whatever this 'ship' is (friendship or relationship)...because TBH, you can't tell him what to do, nor can you even suggest to him to STOP perving women online. Since he's not committed to you in heart, mind, spirit or body, anything you say to him about this will go in one ear and out the other.

Cut your losses now, OP. Instead of wasting anymore of your TIME on this guy - who seems to be perfectly content playing "Boyfriend & Girlfriend" with you while waiting for someone else to come along - you should part company with him and then meet and date other guys until you find one who IS truly into you. Trust me, when a guy is really and truly into you and adores you, he won't be perving other women online...and he will want to be romantic with you and sexually intimate with you.

Good luck and be strong. Let this guy go NOW...before you waste any more of your precious time on him. Life is too short to be waiting for something that will most likely never happen.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-09-2017, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,203,793 times
Reputation: 50367
Quote:
Originally Posted by peaches91 View Post
to be honest we were friends first and reading.all these.comments makes me wish i'd kept it.as such. well I didn't realise how many.he was following.till recently. I mean one two maybe three an xcuse.cn b made.for but over a hundred is.a bit pathetic. maybe it's the lack of "sex" that's got him all desperate 😈 obviously I dnt want.to bring it up because then.he will be like why you lookig that up

Uh...one more irrelevant(?) question - what's with all the apparently random periods - some weird kind of emphasis or is it secret code?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top