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Old 11-11-2017, 10:05 PM
 
276 posts, read 178,092 times
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I did it but looking back he didnt deserve it.
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Old 11-12-2017, 03:10 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville
2,822 posts, read 1,921,155 times
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Hell no!

I didn't ask her parents at all!

If they're mad about it, that's their problem.
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Old 11-12-2017, 03:22 AM
 
Location: Westwood, MA
5,037 posts, read 6,895,591 times
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No. it is not normal to ask permission from parents for a second (or third) marriage. It makes as much sense to ask her ex at that point.
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Old 11-16-2017, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,334,679 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adrian75 View Post
My friends fiancés both asked the parents for permission to propose. One friend on her 3rd marriage at 46 and my other friend at 43 on her second marriage. I didn’t think it was still a tradition, especially when you are older.
Yes it is still a tradition, as far as I know. Age has nothing to do with it. Even for second and third marriages. But really, I personally wouldn't have a third marriage. That's too many failures under the belt.
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Old 11-16-2017, 03:38 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,011 posts, read 52,457,444 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Yes it is still a tradition, as far as I know. Age has nothing to do with it. Even for second and third marriages. But really, I personally wouldn't have a third marriage. That's too many failures under the belt.
Seems a little odd to me bother with a 3rd marriage. I would think after the first couple you'd hang it up and just shack up together, but whatever. The only real benefits for marriage at the 3rd go around would be SS survivor benefits, the rest can be handled though power of attorney and living wills etc etc.

While I respect the gesture of asking for her hand on the flip side it would seem a little embarrassing in some ways. LOL.
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Old 11-16-2017, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,334,679 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Seems a little odd to me bother with a 3rd marriage. I would think after the first couple you'd hang it up and just shack up together, but whatever. The only real benefits for marriage at the 3rd go around would be SS survivor benefits, the rest can be handled though power of attorney and living wills etc etc.
.
True. The benefits of third marriage seem to be: SS benefits, getting someone to put you in their will, life insurance, etc. There seems to be this sleazy financial angle the person is working to get married for the 3rd time later in life. Because usually the person is done having kids by the 1st and 2nd marriages, so they aren't getting married to raise a family.


I know a woman looking for husband #4 and it's all about money for her. She has no money of her own, and she spent all the alimony she got from two ex-husbands. Plus spent all of her inheritance money. She's in her 60s now and...no surprise! Wants to get married again. Because if she doesn't, she'll wind up on the street. And she hates working, so she's not going to do that.
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Old 11-16-2017, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,074 posts, read 11,775,613 times
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I think it's just a courtesy towards the family of the bride-to-be...

My friend was truly honored her son-in-law to be asked her...






[/b]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adrian75 View Post
My friends fiancés both asked the parents for permission to propose. One friend on her 3rd marriage at 46 and my other friend at 43 on her second marriage. I didn’t think it was still a tradition, especially when you are older.
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:14 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Seems a little odd to me bother with a 3rd marriage. I would think after the first couple you'd hang it up and just shack up together, but whatever. The only real benefits for marriage at the 3rd go around would be SS survivor benefits, the rest can be handled though power of attorney and living wills etc etc.

While I respect the gesture of asking for her hand on the flip side it would seem a little embarrassing in some ways. LOL.

My late uncle had three marriages. He was career Navy, and shacking up without making it legal can complicate a number of things when one partner is military.
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Old 11-16-2017, 11:32 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,011 posts, read 52,457,444 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
My late uncle had three marriages. He was career Navy, and shacking up without making it legal can complicate a number of things when one partner is military.
Ok, I know that not all situations are the same.
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Old 11-21-2017, 08:04 AM
 
2,129 posts, read 1,769,191 times
Reputation: 8758
Quote:
Originally Posted by ComeCloser View Post
It is a traditional practice to ask a woman's father for her hand in marriage. Age and go-rounds don't really matter.

I'm not sure what the deal is if Dad has passed, whether its a young first marriage or a fifth old marriage, lol.

If you are planning a private wedding, or on running off somewhere exotic, I'm pretty sure this step is easily skipped.

For large formal events, Dad is expected to walk his daughter down the aisle, and hand her over to her new husband.

It may be becoming more and more out-dated as people become more and more antisocial (in the sense of less face-to-face interactions). But, it is still considered a sign of respect toward the bride's family.

Complete and utter nonsense. It may be "traditional" in some groups to do this - it is certainly NOT a widespread tradition in the US today. Mostly its a relic of the distant past.

And no, it is NOT "considered a sign of respect". It is, in fact, insulting to the bride. It implies she is not capable of making any important decision - such as whom to marry - on her own.

I know I was insulted when I found out my ex had done this to my Dad. In fact, my Dad told my ex that I was a grown woman and CERTAINLY did not need his "permission" to marry.

"Blessings" - whatever that actually means - would be sought after the decision to marry has already been made, not before the bride has even been asked.

Seriously the fact that he asked my father before he asked me should have been a clue to me.

This:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hulsker 1856 View Post
I think my father-in-law would have been disgusted had his daughter chosen to marry a man who thought that he had any say in her marriage.

I respected him by not presuming that he was a cultural dinosaur.
And THIS:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angry-Koala View Post
It's a fad lately in America, sort of a trying to go back to the "good old days" when a woman was property and her father got to decide whether or not she could marry someone. What if the parents had said no? Would the fiancés have given up and walked away? Then again, they could elope, but what a silly thing for somebody in their late 40s to do.
Seriously, if the bride is so young that you would actually NEED the father's permission to marry - you're a pedophile and I hope he chases you off with a shotgun. A shotgun anti-wedding is all you would deserve.

Last edited by Pyewackette; 11-21-2017 at 08:13 AM..
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