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Old 12-09-2017, 01:16 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,722 posts, read 16,372,564 times
Reputation: 50380

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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
He's either acting weird


- because you annoy him with your nagging - he tries to be away from you so he finds other stuff to do without you. The bathtub might be something he can relax in and be alone but still be at home so you have no reason to be jealous.


- or he actually is just weird and needs meds.


Neither one seems to be a cheating thing.
How many men take baths? How many even SHOWER 3 times a day...much less run a bath? How much time does that take - 3 times a day? No, it's messed up, and who knows why. ...and is he still having massages 3 times a week? Between that and the $100 gym membership that's costing serious coin as well as looking really, really bad.
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Old 12-09-2017, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,944,601 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyphorx View Post
I agree with the OP, she does not trust her husband because he is behaving in an untrustworthy manner. Trust is not intrinsic, trust is based on actions.

I think the reason the OP is being criticized here is because for most the line of what is considered cheating keeps being pushed forward. as if anything short of actual penetration is fair game, well to me cheating starts Waaaayyy before that. It starts when you put your self in a position where you can cheat.
If 2 people are behaving as if they are in a relationship then nobody has time apart long enough to cheat.

Problem is too many people want to be in relationships but still act as if they are single.
Nah. Any prospect of cheating is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down the list of concerns here.

I've noticed people giving the OP grief because she is doing a terrible job of being a spouse. She is rattling off paragraph after paragraph of everything she thinks her husband does wrong while conveniently ignoring (and apparently not even caring about) everything SHE does (or doesn't do) to contribute to the horrible state of their marriage.

Basically, she's a hypocrite. That's why people are coming down so hard on her.
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Old 12-09-2017, 01:55 PM
 
46 posts, read 74,019 times
Reputation: 25
The massages continue. He says his massage therapist is a gray haired older lady. Not sure why he would volunteer for that info.
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Old 12-09-2017, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,944,601 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by hotmama7171 View Post
The massages continue. He says his massage therapist is a gray haired older lady. Not sure why he would volunteer for that info.
Probably because of this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by hotmama7171 View Post
That morning as he left for work, I texted him to "have fun at lunch today". He immediately started calling me, but I didn't answer the phone as I was tired and wanted to catch a bit more sleep. He tried to call me about 7 times. That evening when he got home, I asked him about this private lunch with Tiffany. He said it was no big deal and that I needed to get some trust. He made fun of me and my "trust issues".
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Old 12-09-2017, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,526 posts, read 34,851,331 times
Reputation: 73769
Quote:
Originally Posted by hotmama7171 View Post
The massages continue. He says his massage therapist is a gray haired older lady. Not sure why he would volunteer for that info.
Because you think he is having an affair no matter what he is doing?
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Old 12-09-2017, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,374 posts, read 63,977,343 times
Reputation: 93344
All I can say is, there is nothing wrong with eating lunch with a person of the opposite sex. The problem is you don’t trust him. You seem to have reasons not to trust him, but it could be perfectly innocent.

If he’s going to cheat on you, he will. The lunch thing is inconsequential.
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Old 12-09-2017, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,526 posts, read 34,851,331 times
Reputation: 73769
At a certain point, you have to decide whether or not you want to stop this madness. If you truly believe he is having an affair(s), end it and get on with your life.

My husband gets massages (injured shoulder/surgery), and it has never crossed my mind to even wonder what gender his masseuse is - I'm more concerned that his shoulder is feeling better, and he takes baths (for same injury) with epsom salts, and it never crossed my mind to wonder about it.

You are way to up in his business. You have some decisions to make.
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Old 12-10-2017, 12:28 AM
 
46 posts, read 74,019 times
Reputation: 25
Yea- whatever. He asks me to put find my iPhone on my phones me and asks details of my every gym visit (what machine did u use, was it crowded, etc). He also used to be the masturbation police to me (Did u do it today? How many times? I want u to start telling me when u do). I guess I lived like this so long it rubbed off on me.
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Old 12-10-2017, 06:19 AM
 
Location: Central Virginia
6,561 posts, read 8,393,687 times
Reputation: 18794
Quote:
Originally Posted by hotmama7171 View Post
Yea- whatever. He asks me to put find my iPhone on my phones me and asks details of my every gym visit (what machine did u use, was it crowded, etc). He also used to be the masturbation police to me (Did u do it today? How many times? I want u to start telling me when u do). I guess I lived like this so long it rubbed off on me.
So why stay married to him?

You two are essentially living separate lives anyway, and there is no sense of love in this marriage.
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Old 12-10-2017, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,944,601 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by hotmama7171 View Post
Yea- whatever. He asks me to put find my iPhone on my phones me and asks details of my every gym visit (what machine did u use, was it crowded, etc).
This sounds like someone asking about your day.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hotmama7171 View Post
He also used to be the masturbation police to me (Did u do it today? How many times? I want u to start telling me when u do). I guess I lived like this so long it rubbed off on me.
Masturbation police?? This sounds like a husband trying to get kinky with you. Did you not take the hint???

"Whatever" is right. This ^^ is what you do ... deflect and accuse. Turn it back on him.

Once again, I don't even know why you bother staying together. You obviously are both miserable. I feel sorry for your kids.
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