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The suggestions to come right out with it and even more, take him shopping or go buy him stuff this soon in a, if I understand it correctly, not-yet-relationship make me go ?
Maybe later on in a more established relationship but until then have to agree with TabulaRasa
He may end up buying her working boots and a hoodie at the second hand store.
and, ... ?
One time I bought a girl a pair of boots [they were knee high tree-climbing boots and I already had the spurs that fit them], it was a few months before we got married. At the time my only vehicle was a dress motorcycle, we spent a lot of time on the road, and she needed boots for it anyway.
That was in 1980 and she still has those boots. [I wish I still had that motorcycle].
I met and dated a great man some yrs ago and he was an engineer!!!!! but very spiritual and very sexy.......and was good to me, a little on the thrifty side but many many positive attributes.
Clothes were not a big factor in his life, but he was clean and smelled good and I was so more into fashion....today not so much.
Give it some time, and I remember for one holiday I bought him a nice shirt and sweater, I guess I liked to dress my man...he kinda resented the clothing gift.
If it bothers you too much, then I guess it's not going to be a fit. We can't change people TOO MUCH....maybe a little but not a lot.
Is he FUN? Good Sense of Humor? Kissie and Huggie? Hand Holder? Be Well.
Doesn't sound like you are dating him too long, huh? Good Matches are so HARD to find. So much we often have to overlook for a while anyway.
PS: Thinking about another guy I dated and it was pretty "rough and tumble" but I hung in as there was more GOOD than Bad....he "bought me" meaning I was getting presents all the time, and stuff I didn't even want or need...but when he said he'd like to see me in Stalleto (sp) shoes...I about dropped....that's not me. We finally went our separate ways, but he left a deep mark in my life.
Better to have Marks than no marks.
Last edited by jaminhealth; 11-14-2017 at 05:57 PM..
I can see a woman feeling that way. That's not a slight, and I appreciate you putting yourself in his (stained) shoes, but as someone who points out double standards that negatively impact men, I don't really see it here if the OP is really just concerned about clothes.
Is she?
OP also started a thread about dating someone where disparate levels of education are at play.
Status:
"Just livin' day by day"
(set 26 days ago)
Location: USA
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I don’t really notice anybody’s shoes seeing how clean they are. I look up not down when around people & my bf. My bf isn’t the best dresser. He wears clothes that are worn out even out in public. It’s the least of my worries in our relationship. He rather spend his money on other things.
If a guy I just started seeing tells me, "I would really like to see you dressed a little better when we go out, " he isn't gonna have to plan for any future dates with me, most likely.
Same here, but if it really bothers the OP, she should say it and find out.
I personally am not interested in "fixing" anyone.
Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 11-15-2017 at 06:21 AM..
OP also started a thread about dating someone where disparate levels of education are at play.
I'm with you in doubting the OP's willingness to accept this man as is. Her questioning seems way to early and way too wide spread. However, I believe the topic she brought up in this thread can be an innocent one, especially in a more established relationship, even as I wonder about her motivation in this instance.
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