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Then she knew, and you knew, earlier, that it was an issue. Moving in and expecting things to change (that's her expecting your recreation choices to change, and you expecting her complaints to stop) was ill-advised.
Then she knew, and you knew, earlier, that it was an issue. Moving in and expecting things to change (that's her expecting your recreation choices to change, and you expecting her complaints to stop) was ill-advised.
1. You do what makes you happy. If you are spending healthy amounts of time on your hobbies, it doesn't matter what they are. You could be collecting beanie babies for all I care. She gets NO say in what you do to make you happy so long as it is not detrimental to her or your health and it doesn't consume you to an unhealthy point.
2. Some hobbies are more attractive than others. She may actually be turned off by a grown man playing legos even though some lego projects are incredibly difficult and almost to the point of art. She's not going to understand it. You'll probably have poster or two come on here and tell you that you are indeed immature for playing video games because they just don't have the ability to put themselves in a man's shoes and understand why you enjoy it.
At the end of the day man you need to tell her that this is you and she can either stop complaining about it or bounce. So many men need to learn to live for themselves and stop worrying about trying to please their SO. Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" man.
But it is also about balance. You need to also pay attention to her. You gotta take her out at least once a week, have some time for you two. If your hobbies consume ALL your time, then you're doing it wrong.
This has to be the best response on the thread! So very on point.
My gf and I have been together 1 1/2 years, living together for 5 months. We go out and do stuff and have fun but she likes to make fun of my hobbies. She complains about when I play video games and also views my hobby of collecting LEGOs "immature" and says I am immature for it. Thing that I feel makes her quite hypocritical is that all the while she has a huge Barbie doll collection she has on display and she even buys expensive rare ones on eBay. Thoughts?
Tell her to blow you and move on.... jeeezus life is too short for this kind of BS.....
My gf and I have been together 1 1/2 years, living together for 5 months. We go out and do stuff and have fun but she likes to make fun of my hobbies. She complains about when I play video games and also views my hobby of collecting LEGOs "immature" and says I am immature for it. Thing that I feel makes her quite hypocritical is that all the while she has a huge Barbie doll collection she has on display and she even buys expensive rare ones on eBay. Thoughts?
Next time it happens, tell her to, "go play with your Barbies and leave me to my LEGOs please."
You don't have to be rude to make a point. Keeping your cool and not letting her upset you automatically raises you above her on the maturity scale.
She may look at her hobby as an investment (gambling their value will become more than paid for them) while yours isn't. If that comes up, smile at her and say, "so you play with dolls gambling on one day making money off of them. My hobbies are just for fun and relaxation. A lot of mature people have hobbies that are just for fun."
In her defense however, video games can have you ignoring her for days on end. That's how caught up people get in getting a piece of gear, or beating an instance. If you are doing that, stop it! When you get GF aggro, walk away from the game some times, so she knows you still pay attention to her.
"You played with dolls, make up, and dressed up as a child... still do it today... "
No different.
..
My wife and I "ignored" each other when we were struggling with highly demanding children. We are now struggling (ok.. honestly failing) to reconnect with each other.
Don't make the same mistake over a "hobby" or freakin game.
"You played with dolls, make up, and dressed up as a child... still do it today... "
No different.
..
My wife and I "ignored" each other when we were struggling with highly demanding children. We are now struggling (ok.. honestly failing) to reconnect with each other.
Don't make the same mistake over a "hobby" or freakin game.
I agree with the earlier comment that some hobbies come across better than others. What images come into your head when you think of a coin and stamp collector? I'm not trying to put it down, but most people don't think of that having a lot of associated coolness. Think of someone who avidly runs or bikes. It's a different image.
That said, if someone's hobby is collecting Barbie dolls, it doesn't come off well for that person to put down someone for collecting Legos. She may think it's very "40-Year-Old Virgin"-ish with the collecting of the action figures. But, seriously, she's collecting Barbies, which my 12-year-old Goddaughter has long since grown out of.
I personally don't feel the need to attack anyone's hobbies. My wife is good at quilting. Sounds old-lady-ish. She's the hottest quilter you'll ever meet. I have my own hobbies that someone could deem cool or not cool: bowling, running, motorcycle riding, guitar playing, baseball cards, volunteering, watching college football. Again, what someone likes is what they like. It doesn't need a judgment if it's not hurting anyone.
As a man, a woman is going to want more from you than video games, so in order to make yourself more interesting, try broadening yourself to include other activities that get you out of the house.. theater, restaurants, shopping. Engage her in her interests and mix it up. Don't give up the video games, just supplement them with other activities. When she pokes fun at your interests, just polite fully and humorously tease her about it and change the subject. As a man, you should never give away your power to your woman, but you shouldn't be an ass who dismisses her on everything, either. Not many women are going to want to stick around with a man who spends every waking hour gaming, let's just be honest here, but if it was me I wouldn't give it up entirely. Never. Not gonna happen. Never lose your confidence in yourself or your woman will lose respect for you in a heartbeat.
Last edited by sholomar; 11-19-2017 at 09:14 AM..
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