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I'd address it. My ex-wife is now with a coworker "friend." She didn't leave me for him because we had our own issues that we couldn't work out. But one of the things we would fight about were male "friends" that she all of a sudden started hanging out with from work. I was ok with lunch and occasional happy hour but some nights happy hour went into midnight or later.
This one guy always hung around her. He had enough respect for our marriage not to make a move but he was always close enough to stay within her comfort zone. About 3 months after our divorce he makes his move. She tells me and I had my "told you so!" moment.
However, I get the nagging feeling that she's having an emotional affair with her coworker. Am I just overreacting or is there something going on with them?
My opinion is that you may be overreacting...
HOWEVER
You cannot deny the fact that feelings are also important.. your feelings. You cannot change the way you feel but certainly control how you react/do with them. You should talk to her about it.
Been in similar situations; I have a lot of lady friends that are close to me; sometimes they hug or get flirty. Its always nice to get things out in the open and to squash any potential for awkwardness/jealous feelings. Just like my friends, coworkers spend a significant amount of time together; they are relationships .. albeit may be innocent friendly relationships.
I surmise if you talk to her about it, you'll get a better handle on the situation one way or the other.
Nah... nothing is going on, especially because she is being so public about it. If she felt she had anything to hide, believe me, she would. I am a female and i have this guy at work that i started to develop feelings for... trust me he was the last thing i mentioned at home. It was very hard and even though i had meetings with him, i started avoiding him like the plague. If she is emotionally involved with someone at work, they are not going to be sharing drinks in a public setting...
My girlfriend's coworker is starting to worry me. Their offices are right next to each other so they talk everyday. Apparently, they also talk through the wall without even having to leave their own offices. People at work have mistakenly thought that they were together or joked about something more going on between them. They are friends outside of work and I am ok with that. I am not overly possessive or anything. However, I've only met the guy once at a work event. They hang out outside of work from time to time. I know they've gone hiking a couple of times with another coworker or go out to eat. I believe they've only gotten dinner together once outside of work with just the 2 of them. That bothered me but it only happened one time. However, they get lunch at work with just the 2 of them fairly often. My girlfriend even lets him taste her drink from her straw and he does the same. She said that it is only friendly and that she shares her drinks with her friends too. But she also does it with me and I'm her boyfriend! Me and my girlfriend go out every weekend so it's not like she's neglecting me. We always have a great time when we're together.
However, I get the nagging feeling that she's having an emotional affair with her coworker. Am I just overreacting or is there something going on with them?
Ya think?!
Do you have any self-respect?
Set some boundaries bro!!!
Tell her it bothers you that she is spending so much time OUTSIDE of work with him.
I have been in this situation on both ends. When I first met my hubby we worked in a very small restaurant and he was a notorious flirt. He was a cook and I was a waitress. When we started dating he did cool off but he is a very friendly guy and has to be the best friend of everyone so even though it was just him and I working on our shift, this Guatemalan hoochie showed up out of nowhere and started working as a helper and this girl was a nut she sang loud and danced all the time in front of my hubby(then boyfriend). She was married but she loved to drink so she was a loose cannon. When I started to feel like things were getting too close with them it was ultimatum time since the owner of restaurant seemed to not care, he either change shifts or quit and he quit. Well we both did. You are the one who needs to decide what you are willing to take because our intuition is always our guide and if you feel like something is off, then it probably is.
For starters I would definitely demand that she no longer see this coworker out of the workplace, no way would I ever put up with that. Of course this being if you and her are inclusive and committed to eachother. An occasional lunch during work hours is not that big a deal but dinners alone, no way!
It’s entirely possible that she’s grateful to have a boyfriend so she can continue to have a fun and platonic relationship with her friend at work. If she wanted to be with him, she would be with him.
The best thing you can do is become a better boyfriend. If she likes hiking, take her hiking. If she enjoys playful banter, be more entertaining. If she likes gifts, surprise her occasionally.
Acting like a jealous shrew will make you appear more controlling and less attractive. You have to improve your game or sit on the sidelines.
Check the OP's other threads. He's the co-worker in the scenario in them.
Bingo! Troll alert!!
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