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Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,631 times
Reputation: 1525
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OverItAll
Would she consider an IUD? Non-hormonal type? Perhaps she's opposed to the hormonal effects of oral contraceptives, rather than opposed to contraception in general? Have you asked her this?
The IUD is a great alternative; cannot be felt, doesn't diminsih the experience for either M or F.
I am a female and never asked a man to use a condom as I found them disgusting in every way; I can understand your loathing of them, especially in the setting of a relationship not a one night stand kinda thing.
If she is opposed to an IUD which seems to me would solve your problem -prevent pregnancy and not spoil the sexual encounter- then WTF is her problem?
Um, why is the onus on HER to have to go through the physical and medical aspect of obtaining birth control?
Your question should be: WTF is HIS problem? He can go and get a vasectomy, which is an outpatient procedure that's usually done in a doctor's office...and, 30 minutes later, he can go about his day and have sexual intercourse without a condom for the rest of his life. IUDs can cause complications for some women, so can BC pills. He wants his GF to do all the work regarding contraception, while he just bangs away without a worry in the world. Um, I DON'T think so.
If he cares so much about his sexual encounters with her not 'being spoiled' by having to be RESPONSIBLE enough to use a condom, then HE can figure out on his own how to prevent pregnancy. It's NOT up to his GF alone to do it.
Or better yet, the OP can just go and find another GF who will take on the entire responsibility of birth control so he doesn't have to lift a finger to do anything.
Um, why is the onus on HER to have to go through the physical and medical aspect of obtaining birth control?
Your question should be: WTF is HIS problem? He can go and get a vasectomy, which is an outpatient procedure that's usually done in a doctor's office...and, 30 minutes later, he can go about his day and have sexual intercourse without a condom for the rest of his life. IUDs can cause complications for some women, so can BC pills. He wants his GF to do all the work regarding contraception, while he just bangs away without a worry in the world. Um, I DON'T think so.
If he cares so much about his sexual encounters with her not 'being spoiled' by having to be RESPONSIBLE enough to use a condom, then HE can figure out on his own how to prevent pregnancy. It's NOT up to his GF alone to do it.
Or better yet, the OP can just go and find another GF who will take on the entire responsibility of birth control so he doesn't have to lift a finger to do anything.
I guess he's a traditionalist and would like to leave the risks up to her.
I suspect she's insisting on the condoms rather than some other BC method because they're a form of BC that also offers STD protection. You don't sound like you care for her much nor are terribly committed to your marriage vows, and if she's picked up on that, she may well want extra protection.
Given what a huge industry condoms are, I'd say that no, most men would not rather have no sex at all than have sex with a condom on. And of course there are plenty of things the two of you could do that don't risk pregnancy, if you actually wanted to.
Trying to have your cake and eat it too. I'm a male and I agree with you about wearing a condom. Unfortunately that isn't how it works. I would love to be able to have sex without a condom and not worry about pregnancy or STDs, but at this point it isn't an option. I have heard a male birth control pill is close (which is great for men).
Right now, just get over yourself and you have to sacrifice to some degree. The pill or any birth control for women comes with side effects, and many women don't do well with it. Either figure out how to go without sex, find another women, or deal with it.
Trying to have your cake and eat it too. I'm a male and I agree with you about wearing a condom. Unfortunately that isn't how it works. I would love to be able to have sex without a condom and not worry about pregnancy or STDs, but at this point it isn't an option. I have heard a male birth control pill is close (which is great for men).
Right now, just get over yourself and you have to sacrifice to some degree. The pill or any birth control for women comes with side effects, and many women don't do well with it. Either figure out how to go without sex, find another women, or deal with it.
Yeah, if I was in a somewhat longer term relationship with a woman, I don't think I'd want her to be on the birth control pill. It seems like it tends to cause side effects where their mood/sex drive gets altered (and not for the better). Granted, I'm sure that's not the case with all women, but still..
OP, why not just wear the condom? The sensation is pretty close as it would be without a condom (it's really not anywhere near THAT bad). Honestly, it seems like you want your cake and to eat it too.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,631 times
Reputation: 1525
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMA
Trying to have your cake and eat it too. I'm a male and I agree with you about wearing a condom. Unfortunately that isn't how it works. I would love to be able to have sex without a condom and not worry about pregnancy or STDs, but at this point it isn't an option. I have heard a male birth control pill is close (which is great for men).
Right now, just get over yourself and you have to sacrifice to some degree. The pill or any birth control for women comes with side effects, and many women don't do well with it.Either figure out how to go without sex, find another women, or deal with it.
The last two women I was in a committed relatioship with was on Nexplanon ( that implant under the arm). And when i asked about the side affects, they both said it was very mild, and much better than the pill - just as effective. Not sure if i want anything implanted in me or to be popping pills on a regular basis (I absolutely hate taking any pill of any sort). So I can understand a woman's pov.
Personally, I dont see the OP's relatioship lasting very long if they're unwilling to compromise. Its just a matter of time.
Location: In the cold, dark wasteland of eternity...
926 posts, read 673,631 times
Reputation: 1525
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
What, mine wasn't good? Lmao
Probably the most realistic, IMO
Um, your advice was good! But, Idk if the OP would always want to finish off with a bj - because most guys would eventually want to finish off inside...
Quote:
The last two women I was in a committed relatioship with was on Nexplanon ( that implant under the arm). And when i asked about the side affects, they both said it was very mild, and much better than the pill - just as effective. Not sure if i want anything implanted in me or to be popping pills on a regular basis (I absolutely hate taking any pill of any sort). So I can understand a woman's pov.
Personally, I dont see the OP's relatioship lasting very long if they're unwilling to compromise. Its just a matter of time.
I wouldn't want anything 'implanted' inside me either. I get depo shots. There are no side effects and I only have to do it 4x a year. Works perfect for me.
Yeah...if both of them aren't willing to compromise on something this important, how will that bode for the rest of their relationship when other important things come up?
What I said was "I have exactly zero interest in having to be in a committed, monogamous relationship.
having to wear condoms all the time." (while in it)
Big difference.
If I was out tomcatting all the time, that's another story. But that is not applicable here.
Is someone holding a gun to your head, forcing you to be in a committed monogamous relationship? If no, then you don't have to.
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Repped.
But, Idk if the OP would always want to finish off with a bj - because most guys would eventually want to finish off inside...
I get depo shots. There are no side effects and I only have to do it 4x a year. Works perfect for me. 
