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So had a second date Saturday night, which I would say went only so, so. The thing is I'm torn since, I really liked the guy after the first date and perhaps built him up a bit too much in my head, so I was a bit disappointed with the second date. I do feel partially responsible for the date not going so well, as I had had a long and rough day and was not even in the mood to go on the date but didn't want to cancel last minute.
The guy drove over an hour to my city, which I really appreciated and thanked him more than once for. We went to dinner, which went ok, he's pretty talkative so we didn't really have any lulls in the conversation. I did notice that he tended to talk about himself a lot, which put me off a bit but wasn't a deal breaker since I figured he could just be nervous. After dinner he asked where I wanted to go next, and I told him there was a bar with a live band a couple of blocks down if he wanted to check it out, and he agreed very enthusiastically. When we got to the bar it was pretty loud and just not my crowd, but my date seemed to love it, so I was ok with staying. However at this point I was pretty tired, and it was kind of hard for me to act upbeat so I may have came across a bit bitchy or uninterested. My date must've sensed that I was a bit off and was trying pretty hard to cheer me up, and he kept touching the small of my back or my shoulder and trying to make me laugh, and it helped a bit but I probably wasn't as engaged as I was on our first date. Finally we left after almost 2 hours and he drove me home. When he dropped me off he kissed me before I got out of car, and we ended up making out for about 15 minutes. After that I told him to get home safe and got out of the car.
The next morning not sure about how I felt about the date, and feeling partially guilty that I made him drive this far for not such a great date, I texted him saying that i hoped he got home ok last night. He texted back saying he got him at 3am (he dropped me off at 2am), and that he was wiped out, then asked me how my walk home was sarcastically (he dropped me off a couple of doors down from my building). I responded sarcastically that it was a long walk but i made it home in once peace, and asked him how his day was going, his response gave me the impression that he thinks we live too far apart: "glad you made it home safe and sound. I swear the ride home took forever...then I realized I needed gas " and then he went on to tell me about his day. I then responded saying "oh yea that can be a long ride (especially without gas lol), i feel your pain though lol. Enjoy your night." The reason I said I feel his pain is because he knows my commute to work is about an hour each way every morning. I should also say he works in the building next door from where I work, so our first date was in the same area after work. And for the second date he's the one who insisted on coming to me. At this point I'm not sure what to think, do I really care if I ever see him again? Im not sure, but I feel as though because our first date went so well, to maybe give it another chance and maybe get together after work again? Also at this point I'm not quite sure how he feels about me either, doubt he's as keen on me as he was after the first date too.
He sounds like a fun person, like he was engaged and trying.
You're probably being overly self-critical and reading into things. Relax, let it go and try again. I think you should go out again with low expectations, but under better circumstances so you can be at your best and a fun person to hang out with.
The hour distance needs to be considered, however.
He sounds like a fun person, like he was engaged and trying.
You're probably being overly self-critical and reading into things. Relax, let it go and try again. I think you should go out again with low expectations, but under better circumstances so you can be at your best and a fun person to hang out with.
The hour distance needs to be considered, however.
This is probably the biggest issue, but I think at first we both figured since we work right by each other it wouldn't be an issue, and we're probably both realizing now that it is a challenge.
An hour home from work, then an hour back to see you, then an hour back home? Mmm ....
Can't you meet for meal after work before going home?
He lives half hour from where we work, I live an hour away. Yes we can meet after work and we did for our first date, but I also feel like how long can just meeting after work be sustainable for? And neither of us have any interest in moving in the near future (especially me since I need to live close to my dad, as he is sick and I'm his primary care taker).
Well maybe start by meeting after work and see whether this relationship will go somewhere and if it does, a plan can be worked out. If it works, he could stay over at your place on date nights. You could then travel to and from work together. Or you go to his place. You can then go out to nearby places to minimise further travelling.
He lives half hour from where we work, I live an hour away. Yes we can meet after work and we did for our first date, but I also feel like how long can just meeting after work be sustainable for? And neither of us have any interest in moving in the near future (especially me since I need to live close to my dad, as he is sick and I'm his primary care taker).
The distance is probably going to kill it unless he stays overnight at your place, or you at his. That's a big step because usually sex is involved, lol. This is the reality however. If I were him, and there was a physical attraction, as well as a personality compatibility, that's what I'd be thinking.
The distance is probably going to kill it unless he stays overnight at your place, or you at his. That's a big step because usually sex is involved, lol. This is the reality however. If I were him, and there was a physical attraction, as well as a personality compatibility, that's what I'd be thinking.
I get what you're saying, but only two dates in I wouldn't feel comfortable getting sexual with him just yet and having him stay over or vice versa.
I hate to say this, but it sounds like you may be the reason the date didn't go very well. Put yourself in his shoes, he drove a long way and you were, according to you, coming off as bitchy or uninterested.
An hour distance is only an issue if you are not both willing to make an effort. My husband and I initially lived about 45 mins apart.
how about just go on dates on fri and sat? no work the next day
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