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Yeah I guess, it's just that always seems to be the solution when asking people for advice, is just let it go. But then you don't meet any goals, cause you were to afraid to go after the woman you wanted, to afraid to pursue the career you wanted, to afraid to move, etc.
I guess I feel you might as well try then not try at all, otherwise I feel my self respect diminishing if I don't, if that makes sense?
Ok then but just don't make yourself vulnerable to her. Do not let her know she has this power over you! Right now you have a foot in the door. But be aware that there are no guarantees. You might have a chance and that's all. Keep the upper hand by being prepared to fail. Be prepared to get hurt. Brace yourself for it. Expect it, figure out how you will roll with the fall and land back up on your feet. Have an escape plan - which involves having another woman to go to (in my case anyway) or something.
So try something like saying to her "I know you are hurting and I feel for you so I'm going to take you out or do something with you to take your mind off it". Be cool.
This is the shortest and most accurate sentence to explain what it truly is like. I had this happen over the Summer this year and I described it as soul crushing. Once I told her my feelings and intentions, she didn't feel the same way and the friendship ended. It had to end, because if I kept hanging out with her I would have died inside a little bit more. There's nothing wrong with catching feelings for a friend. You just have to own up to those feelings and be assertive. If they reciprocate then you're in the clear. If they don't, take a break from the friendship, lick your wounds, and the reevaluate how you want to proceed.
It's not an easy process and can be gut wrenching, but feelings have a way of sneaking up on us from time to time.
Yeah I didn't expect it either..she was married to a ex friend of mine and I looked at her in a friend/sisterly way..then when she divorced him and we hung out alone a few times and I realized how easy our conversations flow how we have the same sense of humor and interests she stole my heart..
Problem is I do value her friendship immensely too so if I lost that as well it would hurt but eventually I have to say f it and take a shot
Well if I am to make my own decision on this one, my instincts tell me that I should console her and make her feel better about her bf leaving her after a week of exclusivity, since she is very upset about it, and rightly so...
But not console her too much, so she doesn't think I am getting too close... and then go back to the way things with her since she is a of fun to spend time with just as a friend, and just see what happens, and accept things as they are either way I guess.
Well if I am to make my own decision on this one, my instincts tell me that I should console her and make her feel better about her bf leaving her after a week of exclusivity, since she is very upset about it, and rightly so...
But not console her too much, so she doesn't think I am getting too close... and then go back to the way things with her since she is a of fun to spend time with just as a friend, and just see what happens, and accept things as they are either way I guess.
Well if I am to make my own decision on this one, my instincts tell me that I should console her and make her feel better about her bf leaving her after a week of exclusivity, since she is very upset about it, and rightly so...
But not console her too much, so she doesn't think I am getting too close... and then go back to the way things with her since she is a of fun to spend time with just as a friend, and just see what happens, and accept things as they are either way I guess.
Okay thanks. If that is the best thing to do. I found my instincts to be wrong in the past, which is why I don't often trust them and like to get other opinions. Plus since I am emotionally attached, my judgement is compromised too most likely.
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