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Old 12-04-2017, 02:36 PM
 
2,094 posts, read 1,919,684 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique View Post
And...so what? Not all FWB are boyfriend/girlfriend material for a number of reasons. They can make for good friends with benefits, but could be incompatible for a relationship.
Never mind.
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Old 12-04-2017, 03:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique View Post
And...so what? Not all FWB are boyfriend/girlfriend material for a number of reasons. They can make for good friends with benefits, but could be incompatible for a relationship.
It's still up to the party that's catching feelings to address them. You can only blame yourself for not putting yourself out there. I fully get that FWB's aren't always relationship material, been there and done that. However, I always appreciated them coming forward and telling me how they felt. There's no point suffering in silence, when you can get your answer and then move on with your life.


I can't even put into words how I felt this summer after coming clean with my best female friend about my feelings. Sure, it didn't work out the way that I wanted it too and our friendship died. However, from that moment on, I was free from always wondering if she was on a date if I didn't hear from her for a couple of days or wouldn't hear from her later on the evenings on a weekend night. When you really like and care for someone, your mind can go in a million different directions. For this situation, I was capable of knowing where I stood and I could move forward with no guilt, even though I was temporarily disappointed.
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Old 12-04-2017, 10:38 PM
 
5,110 posts, read 3,054,603 times
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Quote:
You are missing the point- a lot of people pull the "FWB" out of their a-ss and say they aren't looking for anything serious (I know I did)- then a month later they have a boyfriend. In reality, they were always open for a relationship, they just don't want it to be you. But you're good enough screw......
Well I knew that she was open to a relationship but not with me at first. When I asked her out before, back when we first met she politely told me that she just didn't think we had enough in common, for a relationship. About 30 minutes later she texted me saying that we could hook up if I wanted to though. I asked her what qualities I had that she would want to hook up, since she wasn't interested in dating, and she said that I seem like a gentlemen and goodlooking. And then later she told me I was the best sex she has had.

So I knew she was open to a relationship, just not with me. I just got feelings as the FWB thing progressed.
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Old 12-05-2017, 09:33 PM
 
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In casual conversation me and her were talking about her new ex and what he was like.

She said on the first date with him that he told her his flaws and personal problems. She slept with him on the first date and he told her how he had this thing where in order to get aroused, he was into rape fantasies.

I'm kind of the opposite on a date, as even with her, I act pretty cool laid back and try to hide my flaws. I also didn't discuss fantasies like that the firs time before sleeping with her.

Do you think maybe I should more like that, if maybe she likes guys that are more upfront about their personal things like that?
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Old 12-05-2017, 10:46 PM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
10,941 posts, read 5,916,425 times
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May I be frank with you? This girl isn't girlfriend material. She is FWB material. Keep it that way. Practice your skills with her. She will benefit too. Have fun with her but move on emotionally. Have you started dating other girls?
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Old 12-06-2017, 12:28 AM
 
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Yeah I got two other dates lined up at the current moment. Also talking to a third girl on a dating site. It's not like I'm not looking elsewhere as well.
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Old 12-06-2017, 01:01 AM
 
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
10,941 posts, read 5,916,425 times
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Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
Yeah I got two other dates lined up at the current moment. Also talking to a third girl on a dating site. It's not like I'm not looking elsewhere as well.
Yeah! Way to go!
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Old 12-06-2017, 02:36 AM
 
5,110 posts, read 3,054,603 times
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Okay thanks. I guess maybe I'm still optimistic, cause there are people I know who started out as FWBs and they ended up dating so is it really so implausible, when you hear of it happening with people you know?
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Old 12-06-2017, 08:22 AM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,272,110 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
Okay thanks. I guess maybe I'm still optimistic, cause there are people I know who started out as FWBs and they ended up dating so is it really so implausible, when you hear of it happening with people you know?
I'm curious, what makes this particular woman so special? She kind of gave you an answer already. You're FWB material but not boyfriend material in her life. Why are you still considering kicking the tires with her? I'm telling you from experience. There's not a better feeling than putting your feelings out there and accepting your fate, good or bad. Once you do that, it gives you the confidence to move on with no hard feelings. Where you're at now, you're essentially leading on other women, and yourself, while holding a candle for the one particular woman. Sure, you're out there meeting other people, but no one is this confused about their feelings. She either wants to date you or she doesn't. The longer you hang out trying to convince her otherwise, is time you're taking away from yourself to be emotionally free to seek out other women. Also, you're taking yourself away from being sought out by other women. Pseudo relationships are just that, pseudo. You're either dating someone or you're not. Don't settle for the inbetween.
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Old 12-06-2017, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,287,003 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
Well she knew him for over three weeks. First they met online and started messaging each other. Then came a few dates for two weeks, while I was busy working overtime and work, and hadn't seen her in a couple of weeks. Then when I saw her, she was in an exclusive relationship with him for about a week.

So it was longer than a week, if that counts.
No, it doesn't....it's less than a blip. It's like saying you're 26 1/2 years old or something.
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