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I, personally, wasn't receptive to being approached in-person. Just not my thing. I took genuine compliments in kind and ignored thirsty dudes and creepy advances. But when I was available and dating, I usually had at least one kid with me while out running errands and didn't venture to singles hot spots (very rarely drink and wasn't into clubs) and such. When I did go out on my own during free time and such, it was to see a movie and go out to eat. In these situations, I'd return a nod or smile, but I wasn't out expecting or looking to be approached. I greatly prefer having more say in the searching process as I could easily screen and weed out non-matches. Such just isn't the case in-person. I'd get hit on by men of all sorts, but usually too young or much older, as men in my target range were typically married.
Also, contrary to popular thought, not all women respond to these approaches in the way many men think. Just because a guy shows interest, the very brief in-person interaction, tells me not a thing about him. Not enough to spark my interest, and being attractive was absolutely not enough to pique my curiosity. Nor charisma, "confidence," swagger, style of dress or whatever. None of that appealed to me in the way a lot of men think.
Depends on what you mean by "Favourable". Are you looking for a woman to say "oh, hi, sure let's go somewhere right now and have sex", then I'm out of this discussion. It does seem to be what a lot of guys are getting at in these types of threads. Anything much less is a woman being too uptight or picky.
If you mean the woman will simply talk to you like a normal human being, then I'll have a go: When I was dating, I didn't like or trust any strange guy who would approach me in public. I dated guys I knew from school or friends of friends or friends of relatives. I might briefly exchange chit chat with a stranger if he wasn't immediately a total slimeball, but it would be short, and I'd go on my way.
I, personally, wasn't receptive to being approached in-person. Just not my thing. I took genuine compliments in kind and ignored thirsty dudes and creepy advances. But when I was available and dating, I usually had at least one kid with me while out running errands and didn't venture to singles hot spots (very rarely drink and wasn't into clubs) and such. When I did go out on my own during free time and such, it was to see a movie and go out to eat. In these situations, I'd return a nod or smile, but I wasn't out expecting or looking to be approached. I greatly prefer having more say in the searching process as I could easily screen and weed out non-matches. Such just isn't the case in-person. I'd get hit on by men of all sorts, but usually too young or much older, as men in my target range were typically married.
This is probably the best response I've ever see regarding why online dating is popular. I never could understand it til now. Thank you.
Depends on what you mean by "Favourable". Are you looking for a woman to say "oh, hi, sure let's go somewhere right now and have sex", then I'm out of this discussion. It does seem to be what a lot of guys are getting at in these types of threads. Anything much less is a woman being too uptight or picky.
If you mean the woman will simply talk to you like a normal human being, then I'll have a go: When I was dating, I didn't like or trust any strange guy who would approach me in public. I dated guys I knew from school or friends of friends or friends of relatives. I might briefly exchange chit chat with a stranger if he wasn't immediately a total slimeball, but it would be short, and I'd go on my way.
This is a very common vibe, especially from younger men. Just entirely too thirsty. For me, casual chit-chat just does nothing for me, as I need to know more than I could glean from casual conversation with a stranger, to decide whether I even want to proceed. I wasn't about to waste my time on dudes looking to hit up my digits for a romp or whatever. They liked what they saw and went off that. That doesn't endear them to me at all.
So, for me, my personality and what I like, what I was looking for, online worked far, far better, all the way back to the days of dial-up internet and AOL chat rooms. The "what's up?" and "hi" messages were treated much the same way as cold approach. Not interested. And those types typically employed the same approach online. Very little can be read or known about them, which sparked zero interest for me.
Friends of friends and those in my social circle weren't practical since my friends lived all over and I was either a transplant or returning to the area after years away. And the vast majority of my friends are married or divorced women with married women friends.
I will say, I was typically more open to conversation in settings or situations that demonstrated mutual interest. So, when visiting, say, DragonCon and I get into a legit conversation about a common interest, or attend a film premiere for a highly anticipated movie, or the rare occasions at meetup groups. These occurrences happened far more online, as my type tends to gravitate toward online communities and spaces, so there was no shortage of my type in these spaces.
I am pretty much always receptive to friendly and genuine "approaches" just to talk. But I'm far more receptive when someone seems to have things in common with me. Particularly if I were single and clearly the guy might be trying to get a date...there should be some commonality. When I was on OK Cupid for a bit, dudes who messaged me when there was zero common ground and I read their profile and I was like, "why on earth would this man think we might even get along?" Those are the messages that get ignored or get a "no thanks."
Other than that? Well, I've had plenty of nice little conversations with random strangers in public places, but never would I have exchanged contact info or agreed to meet someone like that again, if we only had a few minutes to interact. If there is a "captive audience" situation it's a bit different. Many years ago I rode a Greyhound bus halfway across the country to visit family. I met some interesting people, and one man I did exchange addresses and phone numbers with and we were sorta pen-pals for a while. No romantic thing, just he had it rough and needed a friend. I've met people where circumstances allowed for long conversation, hours at least, and those are the ones that I might could see myself "connecting" further with. Other than that, though? Common ground is key. Huge fans of the same band in line for the same concert, let's go to the all night diner afterwards...or part of the same social group...on the same pool league... That kind of thing.
Get into something. Meet other people who are also into the thing. Network.
I think it has more to do with her frame of mind than her location.
First thing's first: Just talk to her without an agenda, not like you're trying to nail her.
Yep.
When I'm out and about somewhere, I usually have a goal already in mind: To do what I need to do, and get home ASAP.
If a person does not want to be bothered...there is a good chance they are not going to be receptive to anyone.
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