Would you rather be thought intensely desirable or reliably lovable? (attracted, looking)

[TJenkins602]

Originally Posted by homina12

This comes up as sub text in threads in the relationship forum, so I hope it can stay here.

I know most people can be either or some of both depending on context. So I'm not proposing a strictly either-or question, but rather, a which matters more to you question. How do you prefer to be seen or thought of?

Before I post, this is me just being silly and exaggeratedly pessimistic.

Reliably Lovable = Just friends / friendzoned

Intensely Desirable = you're in!!!

[Mikala43]

Yes, please.

[sweetdreams2013]

I feel going with either option stems from insecurity of how one see's themselves now, but maybe that's me projecting. I go with reliably lovable (because I'm human garbage)

[RbccL]

Reliably lovable.
I may be projecting, I find stability to be very attractive.

[Chowhound]

I've been pretty desirable, reliably loveable sounds good.

On a serous note sort of an odd thread. I imagine most people want some blend of both.........

[Miss Ree]

Originally Posted by DeusExMachina78

Intensely desirable. No doubt. Reliably lovable gets you the, "Well you're a nice guy but I don't really want a relationship right now," response.

Yep, that's my thinking too.

[homina12]

Originally Posted by Chowhound

I've been pretty desirable, reliably loveable sounds good.

On a serous note sort of an odd thread. I imagine most people want some blend of both.........

Well, threads I start are usually something like me thinking out loud, so they're going to be a bit odd .

But seriously, counting responses so far, of the people who chose one or the other, the count is 11-4 in favor of intensely desirable. 12-4 counting me. I wonder why that is? Wouldn't you (people in general) think being reliably lovable would be more popular?

Edit: \/ \/13-4 \/ \/

[usayit]

I'm more (because I'm sure most are a shade of both) reliably loveable....

but at this point in my life, I'd rather be intensely desirable.

[RbccL]

Originally Posted by homina12

I wonder why that is? Wouldn't you (people in general) think being reliably lovable would be more popular?

Edit: \/ \/13-4 \/ \/

I don't like to be intensely desirable, that's all about sex when that feeling comes from someone else at me.

If somebody acts like I'm lovable, they like my personality -we get to click. Lovable to me means laughing with somebody, they get you and like it.

It can also mean sexy, but not in such an overt way.

[Alinka]

Definitely intensely desirable.

I really enjoy the flirt, the sparks, the turn on and the chemistry.

Currently I am enjoying my independence and not looking for anything long term. If I ever "go there" again a strong foundation of desire would have to precede any loving relationship.