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Old 12-11-2017, 06:58 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,006,937 times
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I married young, and have been divorced a really long time. I kept my ex husbands last name so that my daughter and I would have the same last name. It just made sense at the time because I assumed I would remarry and my daughter and I could both change to the new husbands last name. Obviously that never happened.

This weekend, following an issue with my ex husbands truck, still in my name, my ex husband casually mentioned to my brother that if I changed my last name, his issues would not involve me. (The truck being put in his name would resolve the issues...)

So then my bf of several years, mentioned it bothers him that I use my ex husbands name. To me it is just a name. It sounds better than my maiden name, easier to spell and same as my daughter.

I would love to have the same last name as both my children, but I think it is to late to make name changes. I regret giving my son his fathers last name instead of using my current last name.

The last time my last name came up, I thought of just using my grandparents last name but that is confusing also.

Do names really matter? Should my bf be bothered that I have the same last night as my ex husband? My gut just says let it go and this too shall pass...

Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-11-2017 at 09:32 PM.. Reason: Thread title edited for clarification

 
Old 12-11-2017, 07:03 AM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
45,016 posts, read 60,002,869 times
Reputation: 60565
A longstanding boyfriend dating a divorced woman who didn't change back to her maiden name has, in my opinion, some other issues going on.

Of more importance is your name on his truck involving you in your ex-husband's issues. Is there a reason why you haven't taken your name off it?
 
Old 12-11-2017, 07:15 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,006,937 times
Reputation: 5963
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
A longstanding boyfriend dating a divorced woman who didn't change back to her maiden name has, in my opinion, some other issues going on.

Of more importance is your name on his truck involving you in your ex-husband's issues. Is there a reason why you haven't taken your name off it?
That was kind of my opinion... I told him if it really bothered him he would be looking into changing my name to his, but since he is not, my last name really does not concern him.

The truck issue has been going on 10 years. I think I finally have him ready to move forward to put the truck in his name. Bottom line is he is immature, not responsible and needs his hand held to do adult things like owning vehicles and maintaining employment. I am fairly certain part of the issue was insurance reasons. It is easier for him to keep insurance if my name is on his policy. I also get better rates because I do not have years of not having a valid license on my record, accidents, tickets and all the other nonsense he has not yet outgrown at the age of 40...

The divorce decree said he needed to put it in his name within 30 days. That was over a decade ago.
 
Old 12-11-2017, 07:18 AM
 
3,403 posts, read 3,550,857 times
Reputation: 3734
If you were ready to be in divorce status, then be ready for anything life throw at you.
 
Old 12-11-2017, 07:19 AM
 
Location: North Eastern, WA
2,136 posts, read 2,299,941 times
Reputation: 1738
Your Ex is taking advantage of you and you are enabling him to do so. Finish the divorce and cut him loose.
 
Old 12-11-2017, 07:22 AM
 
Location: San Diego
50,078 posts, read 46,654,631 times
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Why would you want the daily reminder of an ex?
 
Old 12-11-2017, 07:25 AM
 
1,178 posts, read 681,988 times
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I understand. I did change my name back after my divorce, and all I will say is what a hassle!! Not to mention expensive. If I remarry, I will only be changing it socially. I dont know why it bothers him. Thats wierd.
 
Old 12-11-2017, 07:26 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC
4,178 posts, read 2,630,449 times
Reputation: 3659
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
I married young, and have been divorced a really long time. I kept my ex husbands last name so that my daughter and I would have the same last name. It just made sense at the time because I assumed I would remarry and my daughter and I could both change to the new husbands last name. Obviously that never happened.

This weekend, following an issue with my ex husbands truck, still in my name, my ex husband casually mentioned to my brother that if I changed my last name, his issues would not involve me. (The truck being put in his name would resolve the issues...)

So then my bf of several years, mentioned it bothers him that I use my ex husbands name. To me it is just a name. It sounds better than my maiden name, easier to spell and same as my daughter.

I would love to have the same last name as both my children, but I think it is to late to make name changes. I regret giving my son his fathers last name instead of using my current last name.

The last time my last name came up, I thought of just using my grandparents last name but that is confusing also.

Do names really matter? Should my bf be bothered that I have the same last night as my ex husband? My gut just says let it go and this too shall pass...


LMAO what? So you're keeping it because it sounds better than my maiden name and it's easier to spell?


Umm, I know your ex is the father of your kids, but.....you need to drop his last name and move on from him. He still has that control over you, over a freakin truck? Are you kidding me?


Yes, it's just a name, but he's not connected to you anymore. Drop his name and move on. Don't keep a name just cause "it's easier to spell".
 
Old 12-11-2017, 07:31 AM
 
Location: Florida
23,155 posts, read 26,072,600 times
Reputation: 27887
I would have kept my married name if I had divorced because it was easier to pronounce and spell.
Silly for the new BF to attach any significance to that.
The truck is a different matter and not what you asked about but if I were a serious new BF, that attachment would concern me more.
He's no longer your concern, or shouldn't be, and not your overly pampered kid.
Cut the strings on that.
 
Old 12-11-2017, 07:47 AM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,400 posts, read 6,339,860 times
Reputation: 9636
Mod cut.

As for the last name, it shouldn't be your boyfriend's concern. I don't really see the issue unless he's the type that gets bent over something like this. Take care of the truck issue and be done with your ex.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-11-2017 at 09:25 PM.. Reason: Rude and off-topic.
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