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So true. And while it's not a big deal at 22, if he keeps doing exactly what he's been doing, is he going to wake up at 30 or 40 wondering what happened and where his life went?
Rather than wonder if it's a big deal, the focus needs to be on what to do differently to achieve the outcome you want.
Two things come to mind when I hear a guy complain about not having a gf at a certain age, and that's is 1) he's somewhat anti social 2) dude lacks confidence. I think, its mainly confidence.
It's a huge deal. Family, acquaintances, and coworkers are all leaning towards thinking that I'm a homosexual. And no offense, but I don't feel like I deserve that label, since I'm attracted to the female gender only.
You are probably an extremist! By that I mean you are extremely interested to hook up with every girl you meet and your actions scare them away, or you appear extremely disinterested and they don't think you are worth their effort.
You need to sit down with a female friend, who you do not have any desire to make them more than just a friend, and discuss your "problem" with her, and ask her for an honest evaluation of where you might be falling down. It may be your appearance, which in some cases you might be able to fix, in other cases not so much. It may be a personality issue, in which case there are a lot of ways to fix that, but it won't always be overnight. It may be a combination of both.
If it is an obvious lack of confidence, I can offer a solution. Go to a local college and take a public speaking course. During the course, if run correctly, you will have the opportunity to stand in front of people and talk. Hopefully they will have you do this at the beginning of the course and at the end, making a video each time so you can see how much confidence you have gained. Gaining confidence speaking to large groups will also give you confidence speaking one to one. I was about your age when I was in the USAF and was very shy. I volunteered to become a technical instructor and had to go through Instructor Training. Pretty much the same thing as a public speaking course. It was a life changer for me.
Then stop what you have been doing and do something different. Ask a girl to dance, they don't bite.....unless you want her to.
Ask a girl out for a date! Start a conversation, then ask her out. Ya gotta be more aggressive, yet show respect.
Did ya ever think they believe your not interested in them, too?
BE THE MAN.
Careful with the aggressive part. You might want to run for public office in forty years. When I was young, the man had to be somewhat aggressive in order to get anywhere with women. Somehow, since then, the women have allowed themselves to become more aggressive themselves, and men are no longer allowed to be so. I was shy and waited for the women to make the first move when I was young. Then I married the first woman I got lucky with. Big Mistake. I made up for that mistake before I got married again.
I'm very serious. It just hasn't happened. Girls avoid me all the time, and I don't know why.
The public wouldn't know that unless you tell them. Just keep that personal fact to yourself, nobody needs to know that. You are still very young, just keep working on it, things will work out.
Careful with the aggressive part. You might want to run for public office in forty years. When I was young, the man had to be somewhat aggressive in order to get anywhere with women. Somehow, since then, the women have allowed themselves to become more aggressive themselves, and men are no longer allowed to be so. I was shy and waited for the women to make the first move when I was young. Then I married the first woman I got lucky with. Big Mistake. I made up for that mistake before I got married again.
A guy can be aggressive and still show respect.
Men can still be aggressive or passive. No rule says you can't.
OK- well then, it shouldn't be a big deal. Now that I think about it I don't think I ever had a "girlfriend" before 22, and never thought anything of it. I dated though.
You are probably an extremist! By that I mean you are extremely interested to hook up with every girl you meet and your actions scare them away, or you appear extremely disinterested and they don't think you are worth their effort.
You need to sit down with a female friend, who you do not have any desire to make them more than just a friend, and discuss your "problem" with her, and ask her for an honest evaluation of where you might be falling down. It may be your appearance, which in some cases you might be able to fix, in other cases not so much. It may be a personality issue, in which case there are a lot of ways to fix that, but it won't always be overnight. It may be a combination of both.
If it is an obvious lack of confidence, I can offer a solution. Go to a local college and take a public speaking course. During the course, if run correctly, you will have the opportunity to stand in front of people and talk. Hopefully they will have you do this at the beginning of the course and at the end, making a video each time so you can see how much confidence you have gained. Gaining confidence speaking to large groups will also give you confidence speaking one to one. I was about your age when I was in the USAF and was very shy. I volunteered to become a technical instructor and had to go through Instructor Training. Pretty much the same thing as a public speaking course. It was a life changer for me.
No. I don't come on aggressive at all. I don't even invade their personal space. I rarely even say anything other than, "hey".
Your status is not as important as the "why" and "how" of said status.
In other words, how did you get to where you are, OP?
Saying girls just run away from you doesn't tell us anything. Some introspection is in order.
Too shut in. Couldn't gain reasonable social skills because I was too different to fit in with everyone else. In hindsight, I guess a few girls did like me, but I was too socially stunted to pick up on it at the time.
I'm very serious. It just hasn't happened. Girls avoid me all the time, and I don't know why.
its no big deal at all , many reasons why it takes a little longer for some , i know people who didnt have their first girlfriend until they were thirty , they lived in rural locations and the ratio of women to men was low , lack of options alone restricted their search
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