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People who are single often have never been married, so they believe they’re missing out. Being married or partnered can be wonderful, but once you’ve crossed over, it’s easy to see that being single is fine.
I think we once had a thread about older women who were married and then became single or divorced. Many respondents said they were content or even happy to be single again.
I don't want to be single ever again. For me it's no fun. Ok, so my marriage wasn't always fun but there were the positive aspects. Being single? Well that was the times between relationships - not necessarily that long. No fun being single.
Precisely this. Being single is logistically really hard. I mean yeah, I don't make much money, but I can pay my bills and I won't always make this little money. But the daily grind is always there, no matter what, unless I meet someone. I feel like I almost never have time to socialize as much as I want to because there's always laundry that needs to get done, food that needs to get prepped, grocery shopping,...and of course...some cleaning, especially if I have guests over. Not only would it be more fun to do that with a partner, but just more time efficient. The hard work of a relationship has always been worth it to me, especially when I've been on both sides of it. By far, the cons of a relationship are still better than the cons of single life.
The physical stuff is easy to find. If I just want a guy to snuggle up to, I can just hit up one of the guys I know, but its not worth it.
The bold sections are where I'm at. I'm about to be in my house 1 year. The new house feel has warn off, but I DEFINITELY don't regret buying my house last year. However, I now have a mortgage payment, taxes, insurance, yard work, and anything that goes wrong with the house is on me. These aren't bad things by any means, but I think I'd feel more comfortable just dating someone while being a homeowner. What I really miss is someone stepping in and taking care of me, even just for one night. Seriously, I can't even remember the last time a woman cooked dinner for me and all I had to bring was my empty stomach and a bottle of wine.
I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago who had just finished dating a guy. She's 38 and she was like I spent 11 months getting myself emotionally healthy, to end up being ghosted by a 49 year old guy. She could deal with him not liking her and no longer wanting to date, but she said that being ghosted really tugged on her self-esteem. It was something she would expect from a guy in his 20s or early 30s, but a guy who's nearly 50 with teenage kids, it really bummed her out. To top things off she was paying Match.com a fee to meet "better" candidates. She told me last week that she deleted her account, because that 1 month experience was starting to unravel the months of work she put into her emotional health.
That's the bigger downside to dating I think. We all think it gets easier as we get older, but from older men and women I know, they're saying it's undoubtedly harder...
This is probably your most typical "greener grass" type of thing, but still. I think that people should realize that outside of certain exceptions, single people are generally not exactly "having fun". Those cliche advices are generally not appreciated by people like myself.
I get that advice all the time - "oh just have fun, have a good time, you have so many options as opposed to being stuck to that same person all the time..." Uhhhhh, no.
I get to do what I want but doing what I want is not necessarily whats good for my own well being. I live by myself and barely making ends meet financially, thats with a fairly ok salary. There are seemingly NO other single people around other than myself. Sex life? Non-existent.
I am having my fun days from time to time, but I am tired of living with this feeling of uncertainty in the back of my mind. Not desperation, but feeling of possibility that I may as well never have anyone in my life in the end. Tired of subconsciously being on the lookout for "opportunities out there" and trying to meet new people only for that eventually not to lead anywhere meaningful. What am I fighting for?
***P.S. People always talk about pros and cons of married life. But its quite apparent that all the cons are usually associated with "bad" relationships. When I am talking about relationships in this context I am obviously not referring to that. I am not comparing bad relationship vs being single. As far as I am concerned, both are bad with latter just being a lesser evil***
Obviously your survey pool is a bit tainted.
I think anyone who encourages you to "live it up" as a single person is just trying to be supportive.
And although it is sometimes fun to live vicariously through the exploits of single friends (i.e. listen to their crazy shenanigans) it's more in the vein of an enjoyment of a good "rom/com" as opposed to "greener pastures"
OP.... speak for yourself. I love being single and I am having the time of my life. I won't bore everyone with the details but, Here's the deal.... You're single because of circumstance, and I am single by choice. That's a totally different head trip. Two entirely different prospectives.
Precisely this. Being single is logistically really hard. I mean yeah, I don't make much money, but I can pay my bills and I won't always make this little money. But the daily grind is always there, no matter what, unless I meet someone. I feel like I almost never have time to socialize as much as I want to because there's always laundry that needs to get done, food that needs to get prepped, grocery shopping,...and of course...some cleaning, especially if I have guests over. Not only would it be more fun to do that with a partner, but just more time efficient. The hard work of a relationship has always been worth it to me, especially when I've been on both sides of it. By far, the cons of a relationship are still better than the cons of single life.
The physical stuff is easy to find. If I just want a guy to snuggle up to, I can just hit up one of the guys I know, but its not worth it.
So you're looking for a maid, to have sex with, whenever its convenient, Lol
Hey #metoo.
Yeah I here you, and weeezerfan, too. I run a business, have a new huge home to maintain: pool cleaning, gardening, dishes, vacuuming, laundry/dry cleaners, grocery shopping, food prepping, exercise (run at least 7 miles every morning (use to be 13miles) gym 4 times at night) and a hungry active dog to care for.
Yeah single life is dope
I kinda wish I was still married. Single life has been a tough adjustment, especially a guy for most his life had a woman beside him. And the dating world; that sht is brutal. You of all people should know that.
OP.... speak for yourself. I love being single and I am having the time of my life. I won't bore everyone with the details but, Here's the deal.... You're single because of circumstance, and I am single by choice. That's a totally different head trip. Two entirely different prospectives.
Sounds like Dirty Dancing sound track, Lol.
Yeah whatever, playah. Live it up while you're young
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