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There are pros and cons to being single, and there are pros and cons to being married.
They key is to learn to be happy with where you are at the moment.
Ain't no truer words than that, OP. A lot of people sense desperation, dissatisfaction, whatever you call it and many don't want much to do with it. You may say that you don't act that way, but your words betray that you feel that way (if what you're saying is true) and most people can't hide that.
I'm not saying there is an easy fix to your situation. There's not. You need to change your perspective, your expectations, your mindset and that is no easy thing. Many, many people will tell you that they got into a relationship when they stopped or were not looking for one. My two long-lasting relationships were that way.
Happiness/contentment with your situation has a magnetism that draws people. If you can figure out how to be content with where you are, not having a relationship, there's a chance you may not be without one for too long.
Last edited by Basiliximab; 12-15-2017 at 08:46 PM..
I don't know if all "people in relationships" think that being single is fun. In my social circle outside of Meetup, being single is actually looked down upon. Supposedly for "not moving on to the next stage", something or other . Couples---or more precisely, the girlfriends/wives---set the tone for all social gatherings. It's generally done subtly, like when the input of single people gets tuned out in group decisions. But it's there. I'm allowed stay with the group because of the grandfather clause; I was there before the "couples' rule" went into effect. But the pressure to "shape up" is there and it's strong.
I currently enjoy the single life, and never want it to change. Except, maybe, when I'm very old, when my health will be too weak to enjoy "the single life", anyway. Right now, I can come and go as I please; I can have a nightcap without needing to justify it to my "overlord"; I don't have to ask permission for everything like I'm 6 years old; and I can actually have fun on weekends, rather than limit myself to brunches, shopping, and pretentious hangouts with other couples; and a fight or two, for a change of pace.
My family already gave up on trying to persuade me to settle down. I've even rejected women who showed interest in being with me, something I'd find unthinkable even 3 years ago.
I currently enjoy the single life, and never want it to change. Except, maybe, when I'm very old, when my health will be too weak to enjoy "the single life", anyway. Right now, I can come and go as I please; I can have a nightcap without needing to justify it to my "overlord"; I don't have to ask permission for everything like I'm 6 years old; and I can actually have fun on weekends, rather than limit myself to brunches, shopping, and pretentious hangouts with other couples; and a fight or two, for a change of pace.
I think a lot of couples just want others to SHARE THEIR MISERY. I know there are true partnerships out there, but I think they are rare. Most of the women in which I've been involved in LTR's once they've realized they've "got you" become VERY controlling. It becomes all about them, their needs, their agenda, and you are along for the ride, or to support them. I have made the mistake of focusing on looks, and I think that is a big part of the problem. However, I just don't want to be with a woman in which I am not physically attracted, yet the attractive ones turn out to be controlling Narcissists.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; so you tell me . And in every marriage among Millennials I know, the wife is the boss, and the husband is a subordinate. It is what it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilot1
I think a lot of couples just want others to SHARE THEIR MISERY. I know there are true partnerships out there, but I think they are rare. Most of the women in which I've been involved in LTR's once they've realized they've "got you" become VERY controlling. It becomes all about them, their needs, their agenda, and you are along for the ride, or to support them. I have made the mistake of focusing on looks, and I think that is a big part of the problem. However, I just don't want to be with a woman in which I am not physically attracted, yet the attractive ones turn out to be controlling Narcissists.
Women are not controlling with all men, just the men they're not naturally attracted to. A little bird once told me: men women naturally desire are not the same as men women settle down with. So basically, you have marriages where the wife isn't attracted to her husband, but has settled down with him to gain access to the stable life he provides. Something naturally desirable men can't do if their lives depended on it. But without the natural desire that keeps a woman's respect at a high level, a wife starts controlling her husband. In some cases, the controlling behavior is a test, to see how he stands up for himself. And if he fails the test, her respect drops even lower. Which leads to more controlling, which leads to still lower respect, which leads to divorce.
Can you imagine ... "Hey, you big oaf, who do you think you are, trying to have a nightcap? Go take out the trash, them come over here and rub my feet."
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Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; so you tell me . And in every marriage among Millennials I know, the wife is the boss, and the husband is a subordinate. It is what it is.
...in your tiny world. But since it's the world you choose willingly, godspeed. Just keep an eye on your wild generalizations, or not, I guess. They're pretty obvious.
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. Couples---or more precisely, the girlfriends/wives---set the tone for all social gatherings. It's generally done subtly, like when the input of single people gets tuned out in group decisions. But it's there. I'm allowed stay with the group because of the grandfather clause; I was there before the "couples' rule" went into effect. But the pressure to "shape up" 
is there and it's strong.
. And in every marriage among Millennials I know, the wife is the boss, and the husband is a subordinate. It is what it is.
